Why am I so well adjusted?

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Imitation and acting = trying to be someone you are not. It is very unhealthy for auts to try to make themselves be like NTs.

SOme of it may be enviroment. I grew up in a extremly stable, nurturing envirioment and was encouraged at every oppoturnity to explore the world, while at the same time having a safe place to return to. I also recieved special training in speech and social life (for the orally-speaking deaf) so that may have played a role in well-adjustment. If I need to be alone, at least I know how to do it politly without offending someone. I still live in the same house that I was born in, so I really haven't done that much change (other than schools, jobs etc) and I have been around the same people too.

I wonder what will happen when I move to columbus. . . .I hope I don't lose it.

Prometheus, how old are you now?

I'm really high funcioning i can even talk to ppl without disabilitys alright and i can tell i'm more hyperfuncioning because most of the other autistics on chats like winwap which i go on don't talk that often except to me, and i'm well known amoungst other ppl with autism as well

Bye!

Last edited by Ghosthunter on 16 Aug 2005, 2:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bye!

Last edited by Ghosthunter on 16 Aug 2005, 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bye!

Last edited by Ghosthunter on 16 Aug 2005, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bye!

Last edited by Ghosthunter on 16 Aug 2005, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Think of Apsergers as a pattern of symptoms which are NOT exclusive to Aspergers.
The main symptoms in the pattern would be:
1 an inordinate ability to be alone (whether you do it or not, and regardless of how much you do it)
2 ability to maintain intense focus (usually in an area of interest, but not always)
3 unorthodox (ie, not NT norm) means of managing emotion
4 difficulty with change (including attachment to routines, rituals and gestures)
5 lack of social reciprocity (related to ability to be alone)
6 prosopagnosia (face blindness)
7 problems decoding NT communication
8 poor eye contact
9 no language delay
10 no cognitive delay
11 no diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder or of schizophrenia

12 in order for the government to consider this pattern a disorder, it has to screw up your life enough that the government saves money by treating you. (How this works is a very long explanation)

If you manage in the NT world without totally screwing up, then you either are expending a lot of energy (or others are) keeping you stable. Example: while explaining my ADHD to my family I mentioned the lifelong problems I've had brushing my teeth on a regular basis. My sister looked totally confused and finally said, "Why don't you just do it?"

If you manage in the NT world without someone thinking you are impaired, you may have a mild dose of these symptoms, or a mild dose of the ones that bother people the most. Many times when I tell people I am bad with faces and names, they say, oh, so am I.

If you manage in the NT world with only a little discomfort, you may live in an environment where it is OK to be different. I have always been an odd duck in New York City, where I grew up, but to my surprise, when I moved to Massachusetts I not only blended in, but I started trends. I also did better when I worked overnights - many people who work overnights have aspergers patterns but no diagnoses. I get along with most of these people. Not surprising, I don't get along with the ones who are just doing it for the money.

If you manage in the NT world with only a few bumps in the road, it may be that you have learned ways of managing your pattern of characteristics in ways either not noticed or acceptable to NT folks. I am writing a book (at my therapist's suggestion) and was comparing borderline personality disorder with aspergers. There are many similarities. I wondered if DBT, a popular thing to foist on borderlines, would work for autism. This was driven by my seeing a borderline client who underwent a complete transformation. I was astounded, speechless. We thought she was going to die. Instead of cutting she starved herself. I was jealous. She got better. I realized that DBT would have to be more honest to work with aspergers, and then I realized that I am better. I stopped rocking when I took up zen meditation. I don't hit my head in public because I can dig my fingers into my head and no one thinks it hurts. There's nothing wrong with adaptation, which is different from compromise.

In my next post I will play around a little with these characteristics and show you how NTs have them and what makes us different. For example, borderlines have 2,3,4,7,8,9,10,11 AND 12. But the degree and manifestation of these characteristics is different with different diagnoses. Plus sometimes you need additional characteristics, like for the borderline you have to have an inability to be alone, or for schizophrenia you have to have psychotic symptoms.

Oof. I do tend to run on, and more when I am ill. Major gluten exposure 2 days ago.

Bottom line, you would not be here OR you would not like us or be able to converse with us if you didn't share something with us. I think that given we are such a small community and connection takes such effort, we would welcome anyone who felt in any degree connected with us.

Is second nature a metaphor for something?

So you see Jack is a brilliant writer (and an empath too, by the way), but can't hold certain things in his head. Someone being the apple of someone's eye will never make sense.

But as long as no one knows these things, he can go on being Jack Tinker, mild mannered crisis clinician for a small town agency, fighting a never ending battle for truth, justice and neuro-diversity....

1 an inordinate ability to be alone (whether you do it or not, and regardless of how much you do it)
-- Yes, I'm often alone alot... Though that can sometimes lead to lonliness, sometimes.

2 ability to maintain intense focus (usually in an area of interest, but not always)
-- Not really, my focus often is all over the place, I'll focus on one thing, then switch to something else, back to the first thing, off to something, over to a new thing.... That could be ADD (which I was diagnosed as at 5)

3 unorthodox (ie, not NT norm) means of managing emotion
-- I don't really know how I manage emotion in comparison to NTs or NAs so I don't really know...

4 difficulty with change (including attachment to routines, rituals and gestures)
-- When I was younger hell yeah; between ages ~4 and ~12 we lived in one house. But my parents wanted to move closer to my Dad's work. I was vehemently against the idea.
Oddly, we stayed at the second house for the same amount of time, but I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Change is a pain in the arse, an annoyance. But no where near as disruptive as it used to be.

5 lack of social reciprocity (related to ability to be alone)
-- Often, when in a social situation, I don't know to do/say, so often I don't do/say anything... That kinda makes me look very stand offish, not that approachable, and sometimes rude. Which sucks, cos I'm not.

6 prosopagnosia (face blindness)
-- Not at all. I'm good with faces. It's pulling the name out of my head that sucks sometimes. Sometimes I'll remember the face, where and how I saw them. Who I knew them through etc etc. But not their name... But it comes to me soon enough.

7 problems decoding NT communication
-- 50/50. I've gotten pretty good for the most part at decoding NT communication through their facial expression and words. But body language is still such mystery to me, I'm not even aware it's occuring unless it's exaggerated.

8 poor eye contact
-- I use to hate eye contact, but I've since learnt there's power in it. If you can't look someone in the eyes it can come off as a sign of weakness; an opportunity that bullies will pounce on. Strong eye contact can make them think twice.
Plus I love staring competitions hehe
Though I've taken to wearing reflective sunglasses while in society. That way I can stare/look at people without them knowing I'm doing it. I had a bad experience because I was staring at someone.

9 no language delay
-- I don't know, I'd say yes... I love my first word though: "No"

10 no cognitive delay
-- Again, don't know, say yes.

11 no diagnosis of pervasive developmental disorder or of schizophrenia
-- Nope



1, ~4, 7, 9, 10

5 out of 11...


GA

I am rather like GalileoAce in the fact that one would not tell i have AS if one looked how i handle myself in the majority of social situations. True, i get nervous in "certain" situations *nudgenudgewinkwink* but i am mostly a cool character. I am not that much of a geek, and am more athletic than the majority of people i know here that hate sports (NTM being more coordinated than most.) However, i can't organize my living quarters to save my life, and have a short-term-memory deficency to rival that of Dory from Finding Nemo. There is still a hint of AS in me, albiet a small one. But i am confident that i can survive in an all-NT world (Which doesn't mean i dislike WP, so take no offense!). GalileoAce, you are not alone. That is all i have to say.

Don't get ahead of urself GalileoAce!! ! We luv u and all but don't get cocky! I am not aspie but I know girls don't like cockiness. Maybe u jsut dont remember when u had the same experiances

Perhaps... Maybe I did have major problems when I was younger, and I've learnt and been taught how to adapt...

GA

I actually went to an in-person "support group" for autistic people for awhile, which took a lot out of me just to attend. (I'd end up having to rest for a long time afterwards because it was a long distance from my house and then it had a lot of people in it and the interaction format was not an easy one.) One of the main reasons that I went was because I couldn't take care of the basic necessities -- and I mean basic, like stuff at and near the bottom of the Maslovian pyramid -- and thought someone there might know something about that.

I pretty much stopped going when most of the other autistic people responded to what I was saying by saying, "Oh, that's easy!" and "Why don't you just do such-and-such?" when such-and-such was either already beyond my ability and/or wouldn't help in the first place (such as reading recipes would not help me cook). There was another person there who had as much trouble with public transportation as I did, and she and I were staring at train schedules and trying to work out together how to take it, while everyone else told us to stop talking about "irrelevant" topics. (The "relevant" topics seemed to focus around employment and social skills.)

So I stopped coming back, when I realized that I was putting out a lot of energy to get there only to be told that things that were literally vital to my life were "easy to fix" and that any topics focused around things like that were irrelevant or boring. At the time I expected that other autistic people would understand (most of the autistic people I had known before that, did), but I know better now.

That sounds like somehow you may have either wound up at the wrong meeting, or the other people you mentioned who were saying these things weren't autistic at all. Clearly they had no understanding, which contradicts the whole idea of being a support group.