You can control your "meltdowns"

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I've never heard of these meltdown things before, I don't know if I've ever had one. Maybe I broke or something, maybe the meltdowns are where the wolves were spawned. What causes them?

Oh totally true. I use EFT and tap as I scream and cry and it usually subsides in about a minute or so. Sometimes it goes on for a bit longer, especially if followed around. If your partner is not an NT, it can be very difficult as you nearly kill each other sometimes. UGH! Swearing in your head as you tap helps too. It sometimes quickly averts the rage and turns it to crying without it manifesting as rage at all, and this quickly subsides too. At least crying is socially more acceptable.

I've never heard of meltdowns before but I think I know what you're talking about. Usually when I get upset I'll start crying (when I say crying I mean they'll be tears in my eyes but I won't be actually crying in the sense of having a tantrum) and i feel so embarrassed cause I can't help it, then later I usually have a migraine. Once I missed the bus got upset and all on the day of a maths test. I may like maths but doing a maths test with a slowly growing headache is not a nice experience.

Last edited by iceman314 on 17 Oct 2007, 5:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

I had meltdowns as a child and somewhat as a teenager. At first they were almost uncontrollable.. there was too much going on, too many people making fun of me, too many people laughing at me, too many people around me. I'd flip out and be angry and in tears at more or less the same time, which of course only encouraged further taunting and noise. It was extremely embarrassing. I wasn't really that sad or that angry, but rather something flipped in me and I just couldn't handle it. If there was too much social pressure, I would snap.

As I got older I learned how to calm myself when I approached a meltdown. Usually it involved running away and breathing slowly, thinking about something calm. Of course as a boy, running away didn't help my social status much either, but it was better than crying or acting like a 2 year old. I cursed myself for being what I perceived to be a weakling, and I became obsessed with not being this way. I had exactly zero self-esteem.

As a teenager I flipped the other way, and began to play pranks on people, make fun of others and come up with witty comebacks, puns, sarcastic and cynical humor. Meltdowns at this time were just instances where I lost control and simply swung at someone or lost my clever wit and just resorted to typical high-school toilet/sex humor. My self-esteem recovered and I started tolerating, though not exactly enjoying, social situations.

As an adult, the meltdowns went away entirely, though I still feel odd at times, when there is a lot of social pressure or just too many damn people in the room talking too loudly. But it's completely contained now, and I remain emotionless and in perfect control over myself in even the most difficult circumstances... almost an exact opposite of my weakling child self. Of course now I realize that AS was the mechanism behind these meltdowns and lack of social ability, and it's too bad I didn't realize this as a child, it might have helped me deal with it better back then.

I am sorry, but I do not believe that everyone who describes their tantrum as a meltdown is suffering from catatonia. Catatonia is a serious condition that has many of the markers of schizophrenic deterioration. There is a lot more to it than pitching the occasional fit at work.

Also, name me a psychological phenomenon that is not "neurological in origin."



If the consequences of experiencing my limits include acting like a big crybaby, I'll gladly allow you to continue that journey of self discovery on your own.




That does not follow. Rage is a feature of AS, not its single defining criterion.



Exactly so.



I know precisely what you mean. A shutdown is a sort of narrowing of the senses. Peripheral vision recedes, thoughts become disorganized, I lose my mental map of the area I'm occupying and can only focus on a single idea, patch of ground or stain on the wall. A "shut down" is like extreme weariness, and cannot be easily controlled. I have experienced this, it is not a nice feeling by any stretch, but I still do not believe there is any excuse for crying or screaming even under these circumstances.



I am tired of grown men and women who use a very real disorder as an excuse to throw a tantrum in public, hand out "meltdown cards" as if that excused the behavior, then act surprised and hurt when they lose their jobs, friends, girlfriends, etc.

I still don't get it, what these meltdowns are and what causes them and if I've ever had one. I think if I did have any, it probably hasnt been since I was a kid. I know a few times within the last few years I have experienced intense, blinding, murderous fits of rage, but I treated that with some Nile and Deicide. But the memory of those things I saw or heard or experienced that cause the insane anger remains, and those thoughts will probably haunt me forever. They float around in my head and wait until I'm weak, then they strike and cause a lot of pain. Maybe these thoughts are linked to the meltdown things somehow? Of coarse I can hold myself in public, no matter how I'm feeling, I'll seem fine and I'll never scream or cry or anything like that. So it seems kinda like these "meltdowns" broke my brain and now its like a toxic waste zone in there.

You think too easily about these kind of things.
For me, i don't cry or scream or any of that.
However i do have trouble socializing on one, i pretty much wil react in tiny sentances and avoid all contact.
What i really need at such a time is 20 minutes to cool down.
However at work you can't just stop for 20 minutes (that's even longer than my daily break) so it tends to be difficult.
So to me it seems you can only control it to such an extent that you can avoid getting into serious trouble.
This obviously takes alot of discipline, and people WILL know that something is wrong just not what is.

When i was a kid i used to get really agressive and pound the walls during those instances.

Why do you need to judge and belittle others? Is it to boost your own ego?

Hm, I think that what people are describing is something more like a panic attack than a tantrum. My sister had a couple of major ones. She isn't an aspie, but she has a lot of sensory issues. She literally lost her ability to walk, make any decisions, etc. Her brain just shut down, and it was all she could do to make a phone call to my mom. I think her brain literally short circuited.

No, it's similar in relation; KingdomOfRats explained it adequately. A genuine "meltdown" isn't much different from a seizure.

I go catatonic during most of mine, my psychiatrist told me this is common; I have no control over such; he also told me that some people fly into an uncontrollable rage that cannot be suppressed.

Hmm, maybe I've experienced panic attacks, versus a "meltdown"?

Also mine...well I was going to say they don't involve anger, but that's not always true. It's more fear/freakedoutedness than anger though. I don't think anger is ever the primary component.

Exactly so.[/quote]

Okay, there's a HUUUUUUGE gap there between catatonia, and someone just having a normal outburst!

And I *DON'T* generally ever have outbursts, I more try to flee to , try to get away from people and have the other symptoms I mentioned (and when I start feeling it I want to get away too to prevent any type of scene). Whatever it is, it's definitely not a normal reaction.

You can control them. You just have to work at them. That means stopping to think as soon as you feel them coming on - any alter that and you probably can't control them. Then the harder part deciding not to continue with whats upsetting you, whether that be stopping from trying to concentrate in a crowded room, not thinking about something someone said that just made you angry, or just saying "forget this" and walk away. It isn't easy to learn but it can be done with effort.

These aren't normal reactions to have, that much I agree with. I tend to shut down as a primary meltdown, but if frustration gets involved too much, especially at work, it tends to manifest itself as violence towards my machine. I can prevent the violence, but then I have to shutdown, like an alternative route. But trying to stop can't be that healthy, surely? Aren't you just delaying the inevitable, creating a build up?
Just my views.

I used to have something that mioght qualify as a "meltdown" if it is the way you describe, but that was over a decade and a half ago when we thought I was having panic attacks from not knowing what to do in difficult situations.

I was raised in an abusive and neglectful household, and so AS as never suspected - the problems there were more than enough to cause maladaptive behaviors. I still get mad to the point of screaming, but I also never cut loose com pletely unless I am alone. I am sure that what I do then would frighten people. However, I DO still have trouble with getting frustrated and angry and projecting that frustration, and at work I cannot afford that. I apply a method I learned to overcome the panics.

1) Ask, OK, I feel overwhelmed and I'm going to scream, scare my co workers, lose my job, etc if I can't get out of this, brain not working right now. What ELSE could I do? What ELSE is possible? What OTHER outcomes could happen?

[list possible outcomes]

2) can I get to one of those outcomes on my own?

[No. I can see the computer screen, and I should be able to figure this out, but brain is shut down and will not interpret the image.]

3) Who can help me get to the outcome I need?

[CSS/Manager]

4) Procedure: find manager, get him/her to answer the customer question, pay careful attention, go back and repeat answer verbatim without thinking about it to get customer off the phone. Log out of system, go somewhere like the bathroom where I can let it pass, or go outside and watch the trees and the lawens be what they are, and remember that nothing I am doing in there matters to Nature, and that Nature is the real world. I find Nature very calming.

5) Get up and go back in when I'm ready.


Another thing that works when planning for an event, or for something that scares me, is:

1) OK, this scares me, all kinds of bad things could happen, for example I once was afraid to go to a pub where my co workers in another job were all invited becuase I thought that I would end up stuck in a bad part of town with no trans[port and then I would be attacked and robbed and perhaps [mind runs away with awful posibilities...]

So...

2] Ask: What are the truly possible outcomes?

[Not having transit schedule planned properly and getting stranded in a bad part of town after dark]

Responses:

3) Check the transit schedule and make sure you know the shortest route to a functioning bus stop. Allow enough time for walking so you get there on time.

3b) Make sure you have enough money on you to call a cab if you screw up on getting to the bus. it's expensive but better than being mugged or staying out all night wandering around in a panic looking like a target. figure out what the safest places would be within a close range for a cab to take you to. Have the phone number of a friend who can come get you if you can't handle getting home from the safe spot [one who really will come get you].

Overpreparation can resolve a lot of problems before they occur.

Exactly! This used to be one of my biggest problems!

Now THIS describes my meltdowns! I guess I can safely call them that since many here apparently have the same, etc...

Basically I just SHUT DOWN! If I were to talk(I often try NOT to), I would be more likely to have the confused sounding speach that another thread here talks about. I have described here about how I feel like a little computer hooked up to a gigantic super computer through a bad network. Well, my meltdowns are like that bad network connection is just CUT! Access to all that information, etc... is just out of reach.

I can recover rather quickly(mentally) if just given a few minutes alone. I still feel bad though.

But lightning88 is right! You CAN'T always have that time alone. Some people are just IDIOTS! I am often acknowledged as one of the best, if not THE best, at work. Yet STILL, if they are anxious, etc... They will LITERALLY breath down my neck! I mean I ACTUALLY feel their breath on my neck and arms. It is SO bad that, when things calm down, and sometimes before they do, I go to the rest room to clean up those areas.