31 Aug 2005, 6:31 pm
31 Aug 2005, 7:18 pm
31 Aug 2005, 7:27 pm
31 Aug 2005, 7:39 pm
31 Aug 2005, 7:44 pm
31 Aug 2005, 11:01 pm
PhoenixKitten
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Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Age: 40
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Posts: 1,609
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
01 Sep 2005, 1:11 am
AntiEverything, I can see that it is a bit difficult if your sister's wedding plans are so extravagant that they will exclude important guests and family members. After all, the wedding isn't just for the bride and groom, but also for those who care about them.
However, I must say that the opposite extreme also has me disagreeing. I certainly agree that you shouldn't HAVE to prove your love by providing what is more like 4 or 5 figure wedding rings and overseas trips. However, I think that there is a lot to be said for giving because you want to give. I wouldn't love someone just because they do special things for me, but when you love someone you often WANT to do those special things. I think it's all about finding the middle ground and getting a balance. If I ever get married, I don't want a majour fancy affair: I would want a nice dress (nice does not have to mean $2300), some nice flowers, and a nice reception (something like everyone hiking off to a nice outdoor place and munching tasty treats like scones and jam!). Receptions are the killers, but personally I think the idea of a 3 course meal is rediculous! Save bringing out the fancy shtuffs for the honeymoon when you only need to pay for two people! 
01 Sep 2005, 6:21 am
larsenjw92286
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Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington
01 Sep 2005, 9:10 am
01 Sep 2005, 9:26 am
'Twas always thus and always thus will be. There have always been hungry children and greed, etc. we just have the media so we can see every inch of the world at any given second and we can travel around the world easier to bring one nation's greed to another.
But this is not to say that we still shouldn't strive to keep this at a minimum.
As for the topic, there are people who do not think of those suffering from out of their optical range. But this is perhaps no more than myself who does notice people suffering in, say, Africa and wants to do something but to go over there or send incredible portions of my money is more than I would be willing to do. "If helping were only easier I would do more." I suppose I cannot point the Guilty Finger at those who gamble and take part in various other things which feed into the rich and take more and more away from the poor because while I may not do it as much, I still do nothing to stop it.
I went to a casino once. I found it unbearable and plan on never going to another one again. But perhaps that is personal preference and the knowledge that except for rare or insignificant occasions, the House wins. I lost three dollars that night and took my other 17 home with me. And I don't like that casinos are popping up everywhere around here for people even too lazy to drive to one a half hour away. Sigh. Oh well.
I would like to think I am humble but I am surely far less than I think I am. But I do strive to be humble and modest (sometimes it doesn't always work out). But this helps to keep my feet on the ground. And even if I don't feel particularly humble that day, I make myself say it-- not in a self-degrading manner of course-- just as a reminder. And then my ego deflates a little more. Good exercise and highly recommended.
01 Sep 2005, 12:29 pm
01 Sep 2005, 4:18 pm
I can see where you're coming from with this thread, Antieverything, and although well absorbed into the capitalist system, I'm never easy with extravagance. Certainly as far as weddings are concerned, in our society they have been reduced to nothing more than shows of obscene profligacy. In a way, they epitomise what we have become: the ideals and principles of marriage have been lost in the rush for quick-fix superficial pleasure, fueled by ready cash. To be honest, this sickens me as much as the thought of the State contrived penury of Socialism!
I'll just briefly tackle another point, while I've a minute: the private health thing. All I can say is if (and I'm not saying you are) you're tempted to judge people according to your benchmark of "I would never do that", then wait until you've been in the situation where you, your girlfriend or father have been advised they need to see a specialist about something potentially fatal. If there's a long wait on the NHS and you can then ignore the possibility of next-day private treatment, you'd be in a position to judge others' lack of moral fibre — but not until then.
Oh, and a small gift goes a long way with even the most frugal and level-headed of ladies.
01 Sep 2005, 5:14 pm
01 Sep 2005, 7:13 pm
And what if that person has worked harder to get what he wants to ensure that he and his family have a stable future? I'm sorry, I have my problems with over-rampant consumerism sometimes too, but capitalism really is the lesser of many evils.
01 Sep 2005, 9:54 pm
02 Sep 2005, 7:13 am
