How well do you think you can read people?

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I seriously can't read people at all. But they still expect me to know exactly how they're feeling and what they expect from me, and if I don't they act like it's a crime against humanity.

I'm very good at telling who's likely to hurt me and who isn't, otherwise I need people to TELL ME. Things would be so much simpler if people just said what they meant instead of this convoluted mess where we're supposed to know whats lies and whats true and which lies are significant and what they're really supposed to mean and what bits are just missing and how to interpret strategic ommisions. I'm so bloody sick of invisible incomprehensible hints.

This came out more bitter then I actually feel about it.

I used to think I could read people. But when I was in high school, I kept being told how rude I am etc. and kids weren't being nice to me and my shrink was saying I wasn't reading their social cues and I am not picking on it. I don't even know what they are and I was so confused about it. I always expected people to be honest and straightforward, not have me read their minds. My mother has always taught me you have to tell people how you feel, you have to tell people they hurt your feelings or how else would they know, they can't read your mind. Now all of a sudden there is this non verbal cue stuff. I wonder if my mother has the same problem too because she was the one who told me people can't read my mind and I have to tell them when they hurt my feelings when they are bugging me etc.


Also people have told me later on how I made them feel when I said something and I'd be stunned because I didn't know they felt that way. Also I can remember people saying how upset they are or mad and I have troubles believing them because they didn't sound mad or upset. Where was the yelling? Where was the crying?

Thats hard to say. Often times I read people wrongly and freakout or as my friend says Im reading too much into it. Other times I dont read a person, and find out later what there body language said and realize I did wrong. Well since I have AS, I can highly suspect there are many times when I cant read people at all and never know that unless someone tells me. I can often come off as rude to people. From authorities I get scolded. One of my friend occationally laughs at me jokingly for me social ackwardness. Course its not that funny but I'd rather have him laugh instead of getting scolded cause that I can just blow off. Scoldings sink into me and make me feel guilty.

I can read people from the perspective of an observer, filmed media for example, whether fiction or non-.

I don't appear to understand it at all when it's in front of me and talking.

Im ok at reading ppl wot i tend 2 do is look at they dress sense den have a quick peak at their faces although wot puzzles me is pulling stupid grins n faces dats wot i don't undastand.

i got this new class last week, and the lecturer was okay, at least to me. my class mate later on point out how annoyed she was at our lecturer, because he kept showing off his expensive phone, watch and explain how he had enjoyed spending the holiday overseas. all this happen during the class. this came as a shock to me because we were in the same class together, and i didnt get that reaction like my classmate did.

I've gotten a lot better. I'm pretty good at detecting sexual attraction, dislike, uncomfortableness, and deceptive behavior. It's taken me quite a bit of observation and reading, though.

Check out this:

http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/diction1.htm

And books by Paul Ekman like Emotions Revealed and Telling Lies.

I tried an experiment today. As I walked along, instead of fancying that everyone was staring at me, I tried looking directly at them to see if they were. Some people avoided eye contact (Yeah!) Some smiled politely. The only annoying moment came, when I had to get out a tissue because my nose needed attention. This lady coming towards me smiled, and I could only stare. Did she actually expect me, in the act of blowing my nose, to answer her smile with one of my own? Let's just say, that it was an Aspie moment.

Up until my teen years I was bad at reading people. I was always annoying people, with my lack of social skills, or whatever, then after I matured more, I became very interested in observing them. So now, I think I can read people rather well.

I think alot of it has to do with me having really good intuition. It's like I can see right through people. I can tell their intentions, if they're lying (some people it's hard to tell though), if they are being fake or not, what category they fit into (trouble makers, liers, stuck-ups, users, etc...). It seems like I am several steps ahead of people in a lot of ways. Sometimes I can tell what they are gonna do or what will happen in a certain circumstance, before it ever does.

Right now, I am interested in what makes people the way they are., such as family life, abuse, traumatic events, etc...I guess this is just an obsession of mine.

I see myself that way. These last years I noticed myself to have a scary insight into some situations and people. There must obviously be some things I'm missing but sometimes a look on someone's face is suddenly enough for me to read things that go beyond the present and (mutely) address things that are general to that person's nature and stance in the context.
I've been told I may be causing self-fulfilled prophecies but I don't think so since I rarerly end up doing anything outrageous enough to "fulfill" anything.

Last edited by Whisperer on 16 Jan 2008, 1:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have that problem. I try to rationalize how the person can feel or why they might be feeling that way. I've been told that is not how to do it, you're just supposed to go with it, get "lost in the moment" or whatever the saying is. I've never understood or felt anything like that since I'm always trying to find sense in things. I really do read too much. The whole put yourself in the other person's shoe doesn't work...not to mention I was too stupid to even understand what that meant the first time I heard it.


As bad as I'm at reading signals or social cues, I'm sure others are equally as bad as reading mine. I come across as if I'm ignoring the person, as an ass, or as 'too close', despite the fact that I'm in equanimity most of the day. Perhaps that may be why.

I don't think I'm *terrible* at reading faces - if I actually look at anyone's face. Which I never do, because it's uncomfortable.

Before I found out about AS, I always wondered why people got so annoyed that I didn't turn to face them when I was speaking to them; now I realize that they think that they'll understand me better if they can see my face.