Are you trying to be normal or different?

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AspieDave
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27 Jan 2008, 1:16 pm

I'm just me.

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TLPG
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27 Jan 2008, 4:29 pm

Dreamer2 wrote:

TLPG wrote:

People who are different shouldn't be punished, Dreamer. That's a human rights abuse.

I have always understood bullying as an informal sort of punishment for being different.

That's why bullying is wrong.

Alexey
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27 Jan 2008, 5:41 pm

TLPG wrote:

People who are different shouldn't be punished, Dreamer. That's a human rights abuse.

TLPG wrote:

That's why bullying is wrong.

I'm really agree, that bullying is wrong (I had some negative experience of bullying at school). But nice words about human rights are just words and declarations, real life is more complicated and doesn't fit an ideal.
I'm not trying to be a "normal" person, because I like to be myself. But of course I have to communicate and socialize in usual/NT way: it is often simpler and more effective to change your manner, than trying to change another people. It wasn't easy for me to gain some set of social skills (such as appropriate manner of walking and speaking, making a smalltalk, understanding voice tone and face expression (even approximately) etc), but life definetly requires it.

SleepyDragon wrote:

What do you suppose we older Aspies did - before anyone knew there was such a thing as Asperger Syndrome?

In Russia this diagnosis is still not widely known, and in USSR not every psychiatrist had information about autism. And I think not every Russian will agree to have psychiatric diagnosis - because it may cause problems with employers (and some part of society considers any mental disorder as something shameful).

TLPG
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28 Jan 2008, 5:00 am

Alexey wrote:

Not true, Alexey - although it depends. Declarations that are signed to actually have some clout, but it really puts the onus of it onto government and no one else. The next step are laws that are intended to protect against discrimination. That's the context I was talking about when I mentioned human rights.

Alexey
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28 Jan 2008, 5:59 am

TLPG wrote:

The next step are laws that are intended to protect against discrimination. That's the context I was talking about when I mentioned human rights.

I perfectly understand that human rights are not working without appropriate laws. But it is very hard to imagine a law, that will protect people with AS from misunderstanding and bullying. It is mostly problem of culture and intelligence of people.
And don't forget, that laws and life is a bit different thing: laws cannot work ideally. E.g. it is rather easy to buy unlicensed software in Moscow - just 5$ "reanimator" DVD with "gold collection of Windows, Office and Photoshop".

Brittany2907
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28 Jan 2008, 7:01 am

I've tried to be normal...didn't work.
I've tried to be different...didn't feel like I was being true to myself.

I've realised that I have to stop "trying" to be something...and I just have to do what I am comfortable with. I am now living life as "me"...whatever that means, I am still unsure.

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Adrie
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28 Jan 2008, 7:04 am

Brittany2907 wrote:

I've tried to be normal...didn't work.
I've tried to be different...didn't feel like I was being true to myself.

Exactly. I tried being normal and stressed myself out. I tried being different, which was fun, but I felt like I was still just copying other people who were "different," so it wasn't original, and it wasn't me.

Now I'm trying to just be me. Which is different, but yeah, I'm not trying anymore.

lastcrazyhorn
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28 Jan 2008, 7:28 am

Danielismyname wrote:

I'm Daniel.

Quite rightly so.

I'm lastcrazyhorn. This is me. I'm not trying one way or the other. I do try to get along some with others, like observing traffic signals and not talking too much in class, but other than that . . .

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The_Q
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28 Jan 2008, 11:20 am

I try to be myself, for better or worse. At the same time, I recognise the need to fit in with others and society in general when it is neccessary and/or when I find it tolerable. NT's aren't all bad, some are even quite exceptional human beings. Many are simply ignorant, not deliberately malicious. At the some time there are some Aspie's who are rather detestable.

For me, interacting with NT’s is like interacting with people who are from a different culture.

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CockneyRebel
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28 Jan 2008, 11:26 am

I just be myself, and who says that people who are different, aren't normal. I hate the word, normal.

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Last edited by CockneyRebel on 28 Jan 2008, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Wolfpup
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28 Jan 2008, 11:48 am

I don't try to be different, and more or less try to fit in within the limited social interactions I have. I already am different, so I don't have to try at that

TLPG
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28 Jan 2008, 4:23 pm

Alexey wrote:

TLPG wrote:

The next step are laws that are intended to protect against discrimination. That's the context I was talking about when I mentioned human rights.

I can imagine it - quite easily. Education is the key as well. If there's an understanding problem and it goes to the courts - this is what mediation is for, to educate. If a culture clash exists, then the solution is for the two protangonists to stay away from each other. If that's not possible (ie they work in the same place) then they are seperated within the work place - and the employer would also have to be involved in the mediation. Although the employer's reaction to the bullying in the first place would also be a factor.

Intelligence is something one can't predict with an NT. Some are smart and some are dumb. Some have a high IQ, but don't use it. LFA's get penalised for a low IQ (sometimes it's appropriate but mostly it's not) but NT's don't - because it's not common that an NT would have an IQ lower than 70, unless there was some other intellectual disability present. But then that sometimes gets more protection than LFA's do - which is wrong as well.

Law can work. It varies from country to country (hence the paragraph I didn't quote - and you're right about that), but it entirely depends on whether or not people want everyone to be a part of the country's future, without exception. I think most people would.

9CatMom
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28 Jan 2008, 9:08 pm

I am happy with who I am most of the time. I would like to curb my anxiety at crucial times and become a more functional person.

Aelith
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28 Jan 2008, 9:16 pm

I've tried to be "normal," but it usually ends up in disaster - I'm totally exposed as a fraud because I get overly excited about something or I freak out when I'm stressed. So tough - I am who I am...

Averick
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28 Jan 2008, 9:19 pm

I am what I am.

Liverbird
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28 Jan 2008, 9:29 pm

I never had to try to be different. I just am. Square peg, round hole.

I don't go out of my way to be anything but me.

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