the irony not fitting in with other a-spec people

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If you are so 'high functioning' why not go to non ASD forums or look in the off topic section? Seriously, it's what I do when I want to discuss things that are not related to AS symptoms. Or as others suggested if you have overcome difficulties then post about how you managed it rather than moan at everyone who moans about their problems with these things. Sorry if I'm having a moan about you moaning at people for having a moan.

The term high functioning is also a bit of a grey area IMO. I mean I've worked a lot of different jobs, pay taxes, never broken any laws, did pretty well at School etc and I think I have now accepted that I am 'different'. However do these things make me a fully functunal member of society? I hardly keep in touch with my friends and only really go out to walk my dogs or visit family because I go into a sort of auto-pilot mode when I'm around noise and people. I would like to be able to hold spontaneous conversations without awkward pauses and feel comfortable in crowds etc but it's like it is not physically possible, there is a barrier there that I've been fighting my whole life and I've got tired of fighting it so now I just try to smile and agree when random people talk to me and then move on. So I could'nt really describe how 'functional' that makes me, I don't really feel connected to the world around me but I get by. Does this mean I'm low functioning because I don't really try to fit in with the norm or high functioning because I've come to accept that I'm not the norm and don't feel I should put on an 'act' out of some sort of duty to do so? I think this is my main problem with life in general, the total lack of clarity

I don't experience the anxiety and things that come along with it, but I'm still willing to read what people have to say.

On the "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" thingy; when it's based on what people can and can't do who have an ASD, I've found that it's based on if one can survive without help or not many times. If someone can't prepare food at all and collect food, they'd die due to this level of impairment. If someone can't pick up and talk on the phone to call people when they are bleeding to death, this is low-functioning. Also, if people can't bathe or do any other "basic" thing, they're generally classed as low-functioning too. Usually, when one has one of these things, most of their self-help skills are impaired to a similar amount.

All people with Asperger's are deemed as "high-functioning" for this reason, as are 1/3 of those with Autistic Disorder.

I must know a lot of unusual people then. I've known a number of people who have very limited word-based communication skills, but who are able to for the most part take care of themselves. (Or rather, take care of themselves in the areas where, if you can take care of yourself, then your society creates an illusion of independence around you despite your inevitably extreme dependence in other areas.)

And my scores on, for instance, the ABAS (a test that gives numbers for level of adaptive behavior in a number of separate domains, and then calculates an overall score based on those), are all in the low range, but they have a fair amount of variance within that range.



That's odd, because I know a number of people diagnosed with Asperger's who can't do one or more of those things. I know that the criteria specify no early delays in adaptive behavior or self-help skills, but they are not always interpreted as covering difficulties in those areas in adulthood. They don't cover, for instance, being able to use the telephone in an emergency. And there is a serious move by some people to get that part of the criteria removed, because of the number of autistic people who have no language delay and otherwise meet the full AS criteria, but are classified as PDD-NOS entirely and only because they had significant early delays in self-help skills.

I love that sentence.

I also think the OP should consider the fact that describing difficulties is not the same as whining about them. Just as describing talents is not the same as bragging about them. Some of us just want to explore what is there without putting value judgments on it.

It does seem as if the OP has mastered at least one standard social skill, though. Which is, reading things in between the lines and then claiming, against all other attempts to reason with them, that what they inferred about people's thoughts, feelings, and motivations must be true, and saying that everyone else is clueless if they don't see it.

i have no interest in displaying my social skills unless there is some benefit to doing so

presenting myself in a frank manner is how i feel most comfortable, and my objective is not to educate, just to see if its possible to find a group of people who dont want to argue or pick fights, people who see things as i do. you can go nitpick your issues with someone else, i just want a place to talk amongst people i identify with. clear?

everyone who posts to try and argue about something is obviously missing the point, and i have nothing to say to you. get upset if you want, haha, i dont care.

Much like when one blueman does something different from the other two

Thanks, but no thanks.... *shrug* No longer interested, as you apparently seek a pulpit instead of conversation. You seek somewhere with dissent, without question, without counterthought. You're not going to control the actions of others, and by seeking to control your environment in such a manner, you are limiting what you might learn. Best wishes in finding the place you seek; given your demands, you may likely have to create it yourself.


M.

QFT.

Metta.

I'm sorta like Kelsi in that regard. However, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be AS (sorry, but there it is). I do my best to fit in with the NT types, and do pretty well for the most part.

However, I'm at the age where people graduate from dealing with things (that aren't hard to read, motivate, and control), to dealing with people (management). I've never even been considered for it, and time is running out. I would love to be able to get people to do what I want (even toddlers run over me)

Eventually that will catch up with me. If you're not moving up, the only 2 other directions are out (termination), or down (reduction to a lower-paying job). I'm trying to fix that, taking psych courses, but still, I'll never be completely at ease with other people.

But I've been lucky enough to be on the HF side of things. I'm actually getting better, now that I know what the symptoms are, and how to compensate for them. It can be done, but we're not all from the same cookie-cutter.