If you don't look like an "Aspie"

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dsdona: I think I can really relate to what you are saying. Maybe I should specify that I am not technically diagnosed with AS, but I´m sure I´m on the spectrum...at least, I do know that I learn social situations intellectually, and I recognize all AS traits as either part of my history, or still continuing. Like you, I also use the "psychological profiling" method for social situations. Due to a lifetime of practice, I feel quite ok in some social situations- mainly the ones that involve work/special interests, or general, straightforward interactions that I´ve done over and over again- but quite lost in the romantic sphere. I think this is the hardest one- for me, anyway- because there is so much non-verbal stuff involved, and it´s difficult to "learn", or to observe...(how often does one get the possibility to observe someone close up in a romantic relationship?) I think I also don´t "appear autistic", as you say, to many people; nowadays, I can make eye contact...(though, for much of my life I couldn´t, or didn´t). I also laugh a lot- (after watching "Mozart and the Whale", I wonder if people think that people with AS are sad all the time??) I think when I was younger, romantic situations were a little easier, because men expected me to be somewhat clueless, due to my age. Now, I feel that I do not have the experience to match my relative age...i.e., people just expect and assume that I know what I´m doing...if that makes any sense. I feel lost- floundering- in dating and romantic situations. It´s kind of like being a beginner at skiing, and suddenly finding yourself on an advanced ski slope. I feel totally intimidated by the NT dating world....so much so, that for much of my adult life I´ve just "bowed out" and avoided it. Maybe not a good thing....

I wish I could give you some good advice, but I can´t...I´m still trying to work this out myself. Since I´ve discovered AS, it has answered so many questions, and so much of my past life is clear now. But I´m still trying to work out a strategy for this dating/romantic stuff, and I have no answers yet. At least, I wanted you to know that you are not alone!