11 year old son hates showers (sensory issues)

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I don't have the water on steaming hot when I shower but I have it on warm. To other people warm is water with some coldness to it. To me warm is no coldness to it and it all has to feel warm, not cold. When it's cold outside, I tend to have the water on a higher temperature and I don't feel the difference because my body is too cold to even feel the hotness.

I have NEVER been able to stand showers. When I was your son's age baths were kinda hard to tolerate as well, and yes I did stink. A bath is less of a problem than a shower to me, it seems. I still can't tolerate showers, but I can tolerate baths. I simply fill up a bathtub and get wet all over, stand up and wash myself with a soapy washcloth, then sit back down and rinse the soap off me, then get out. I am not in the water that long. That seems to work. A lot of regular people think that a person HAS to take showers, that baths are wasteful, etc. Some people just can't tolerate a shower.

I used to have big problems with this, and I'd argue with myself about when my next shower would be, but it actually got a lot easier when I made it a rule to shower every day no matter what. This way I desensitize a bit to the sensory issues, plus spend less time arguing with myself. Keeping the water hot helps as well. And I just dive for the towels to avoid the worst of the cold air after. Of course, where I live now, the bathroom is so small the shower warms it up somewhat.

One of the issues tugging me the other way is that skin can get very dry and itchy in winter. So I have to make a routine to moisturize after showers on cold winter days to compensate.

I think another thing that helped is that at the cottage, we swam in cold lake water, and we were supposed to go in every day if the weather was hot, like it or not. So over the years we developed coping techniques for adjusting to the temperature shock.

Yes, especially if he can only manage it once every ten days. There has to be a back-up in case that happens.

Can you get him to wash his face, armpits, and groin in the sink? It really cuts down on any smell, and keeping the skin of the face clean (but not dried out from too many washings) helps prevent acne. He should also start using deodorant, if he hasn't already. More experiments with scents, I imagine; many smell quite strong and are extremely irritating. Sometimes even the "unscented" ones smell like soap or baby powder. I have done OK with Suave unscented but mostly because the smell it has is one I can deal with. I haven't found a truly unscented deodorant yet.

For many people, their own smell can be distracting, as can the sensation of being dirty or sticky. So if he can successfully take showers, it may be like it was for me--once you can keep yourself clean, you find out being dirty has been a low level of irritating to you for a long time.

Tell the smelly little dude that he'll be much more likely to get laid if he's clean. But seriously, I didn't like bathing as a kid either. That is until later on in high school. It might just be a phase that he'll grow out of.

When I was your son's age (and into high school), I too only showered every week and a half. But it got better gradually as I got older (every 3-4 days in college and every 2-3 days in grad school), and now I shower nearly every day. Part of my problem was the complex sequencing involved in taking a shower. You didn't mention whether or not that is a challenge for your son, but as another poster said, the best thing for sequencing problems is routine, routine, routine.

One thing that helped me a lot was drying myself off with a hair dryer rather than a towel. I can't stand the feeling of cloth against my wet skin, and toweling myself off feels terrible. Given that he feels cold after getting out of the shower, your son might prefer drying himself off with a hair dryer as well.

I can't stand the feeling of coldness from the shower, but when it is hot nough that feeling seems to go away... fortunatley for me, I don't need it hot enough that it makes me feel sick. As for suggestsions, I would say KOR has the right idea with wipes. I wouldn't personaly want to have to do that, but what are the alternatives? A bath might work, unless his sensory issues make that difficult too.

I'm kinda the opposite, I take a shower everyday before I leave home because my body and hair just feels like crap if I don't. I can't stand taking baths, though, or being submerged in water in a pool either.

I can't stand it too hot or too cold, I have it marked where the knob should line up.

Perhaps you could keep the door shut to let steam in. How about getting a big fluffy towel and give ti to him after eh gets out of the shower. Slowly drop the temp as he showers.