Catatonic

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A diagnosis would allow me to get a job coach which would allow me to educate a potential boss. It’s a practical request for a practical purpose. All else is nonsense.

I sent an e-mail to my sister-in-law with basically the same message as my first post, above. She has been a nurse, clinic administrator, women's-issues-counselor type jobs. Baffling, how she skipped over the basic point, the need-diagnosis, need-job stuff and started in about the need-counseling-for-anger theme. Baffling, how they skip over the main, obvious stuff. Is it “I can’t imagine a solution, so let’s pretend there’s no problem?” As I said to her, "who said anything about anger?"

It’s a perfect example. A “normal” person would be angry, therefore Tahitiii must be angry, so let's get out the Rx pad and start 'scribing. If she is not uncontrollably angry, it must be because she is in deep denial which, again, means it's time for therapy and more drugs...

Ok, so a “normal” person would have killed someone by now.
What does that have to do with me?

Let’s say I’m willing to play that game, for everyone else’s education and amusement. It’s about as much fun as lying on the gynecologist’s table with the door wide open, but let’s say that I’m game. So after we get done, then what? After they’ve all had their fun, will I, at some distant point, however many years down the road, get that official diagnosis? At what point does reality enter this equation? What do I have to do? When do I actually get the carrot?

The issue, on which no one seems to be able to focus, is that unemployable thing. It’s about basic food and shelter.

If you try to put yourself in my place, you will still only see my world through your own eyes. It’s not that I don’t know myself or that I am confused or in denial. It’s that my emotions really are qualitatively different. Anger and depression are not the significant issues for me and do not require treatment. What I do feel is not within the shrink’s spectrum, so it’s not worth talking about. So, now can we focus on the practical stuff?

Like the birds, the bees and a few human tetrachromats, my emotions are up here in the ultra-violet zone – where others can barely see a dull brown flower, I see a vibrant color that stands out from a mile away. It’s the red flower that does not impress me, and their excessive attention to it baffles me. (Don't panic. It's just an analogy. I'm really only a mundane trichromat.)

My emotional reaction to my situation is more like… like…
...nothing that works in English.
Right now, I just wish I could whistle like Otis Redding.
How do you spell the sound of a whistle?

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I also “suffer” from dry skin on my feet. It is not new. It is not a difficult concept to grasp. I know where the hand cream is. I have used it before, successfully, with no supervision at all, and I will use it again. And when the dry skin returns, I will use the cream again. I can handle it. It does not require the attention of a professional. It is not an issue. I’m 52 years old. What the hell do they think I’ve been doing all these years? I’m sick of being treated like an idiot by people who know less than I know.

It makes them happy if I give them a problem they can understand and solve. They get all warm and fuzzy and feel important. I consider it “charity” when I give them such an ego boost, at my expense. I used to do that in the hope that they would get it out of their systems and we could then focus on my real issues. It doesn’t work. They get stuck and no power on earth will make them let it go. Can you say, “perseveration?” I had a shrink in tears once over my ancient family history. And I hadn’t even gotten to the heavy stuff. Have a tissue. Now can we move on?

Trying to educate a “professional” with an ego problem is like politely asking the plantation owner for freedom. It ain’t gonna happen. Been there, done that. When will it be MY turn? I’m paying for this “service.” When do we move on and get to the part where we discuss MY issues, for MY benefit?

ha yeah, some of em want to tell you all their problems...and charge you for it.

the trouble with seeing a number of them is that you have to go thru the whole story over and over, the first hour is only taking your family history and personal details anyway.

it's just a pretty horrible part of the uh journey tahitiii, i remember that phase of my life as absolutely excrutiating. being pronounce officially 'defective' is a fairly humiliating thing. a lot of em are useless, but you have to keep trying.

This is one excruciatingly wise and painful thread if Greentea, the one with the excruciatingly wise and painful threads, says so.

postperson, I always thought you were in the USA.

And I always thought this happened only to me, Tahitii: "I sent an e-mail to my sister-in-law with basically the same message as my first post, above. She has been a nurse, clinic administrator, women's-issues-counselor type jobs. Baffling, how she skipped over the basic point, the need-diagnosis, need-job stuff and started in about the need-counseling-for-anger theme. Baffling, how they skip over the main, obvious stuff. Is it “I can’t imagine a solution, so let’s pretend there’s no problem?” As I said to her, "who said anything about anger?"

No matter what I ask a worker of the psyche for help with, all they hear is that I'm angry and need another 3 decades of therapy for my anger. That'll solve all the problems. That alone accounts for my anger. Maybe you could try to actually do your job since I'm paying a small fortune for it, switch off your cell phone, pay attention to what I'm telling you about my real difficulties, try to analyze them a bit more in depth than a teenager in a discotheque, then perhaps I wouldn't be so angry?

What all of them invariably fail to address, always pretend not to have heard, is that not once have I been fired for anger / aggressivity. So prove to me that my problem is anger. Don't just say it like a mantra. Explain how anger got me fired from almost every job I ever had - because no boss ever said a word about anger or aggressivity.

It's very rare that I don't have to dumb down to talk to people. Almost never happens in my life. This thread gave me a feeling I hadn't had in a very, very long time in this regard. Me actually striving to say something intelligent enough. I've so long been on the other end, striving to sound as shallow and stupid as I can, and failing bitterly at it.

I think NTs prefer a world of vague communication where they're never sure what the other really meant, whether the other was lying or telling the truth, whether they have proof of their claims, etc. It's easier that way, and anyway they have intuition to guide them through life, so why use the analytical mind.

Psychologists generally speaking are better diagnosticians than psychiatrists. Here in the US the same goes for licensed clinical social workers as well. Why? Because both focus more on patient interaction and often have a better clue how to do evaluations. Neuro psych evaluations are often given by psychologists. Most psychiatrists just want to throw drugs at things, it is really the last place somebody on the spectrum should go unless they have a behavioral disorder. Please not, you cannot medicate any spectrum disorder, good Doctors know this, many psychiatrists DON'T.

Here the country is so tiny that we have only 3-4 people who are well-known and trusted in their AS diagnoses, and they're either Psychiatrists or Psychologists indistinctly...

Thank you for sharing that. I'll use it as a guideline to prepare one. This time they won't catch me unprepared.

Postperson, I'm surprised I never heard of Skippy, because wiki says it was shown in South America during the years I watched these things. I'm going to see if I can find a YouTube of the series. I love kangaroos!

Interesting thread so why not bump it up again. Cute stories about the multi-page reports. I read a book about an aspie woman named Dawn who worked with gorillas and she also wrote a very lengthy, detailed, analytical report to present for her diagnosis.

I myself am unlikely to come in with anything at all because I am horrifically lazy. I prefer expressing my feelings through photos anyway, maybe I should take a photo album of myself reading, or pacing, or sitting in a cafe by myself... lol...

My counsellor is suggesting a psychologist if I decide to get diagnosed. I am considering it... I thought I would be going to a psychiatrist but she said that a psychologist can do the trick just fine.

Tahitii,

I'm exactly in the same boat as you at this stage. I say "AS", they hear "Anger". I say "outcast", they hear "aggressivity". I say "unemployable", they hear "aggressivity". I say "prosopagnosia", they hear "too involved with myself and my career to care about looking at other people". I say "blind to the nonverbal", they hear "childhood trauma". How does one get a damned diagnosis in such a situation, beats me. And yet, I'm paying the shameless fortunes they demand in exchange for the priviledge of a diagnosis and I'm trying once again. I do need the Social benefits.

A few questions come up for me, after rereading this thread:

1. Have you been to an AS specialist for an AS diagnosis?
2. What do you live on?
3. Why are you unemployable?
4. What do you do all day every day?
5. What do the shrinks tell you that you have, before reaching for the pill-pad?
6. What does one do when two AS specialists deny AS:
a. Give up on a diagnosis, live on the streets and try to work as much as possible
b. Believe them that you don't have AS - they're the specialists, so they know better than you
c. Go to a third, a fourth, a fifth - as many as it takes to find one that understands AS
d. Punish yourself for having dared seek a dx at all, you know deep inside what your problem is, your mother told you all along your life: you're just selfish and don't mind hurting others' feelings by being nasty.
e. Other
6. Do children also go through hell to get an AS dx or are they more believed by specialists?