Aspies Getting Along With Other Aspies?

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One thing I never expected from Aspies, and I've unfortunately and surprisingly found in the ones I got a bit closer to, is mind-games. Just finding someone who doesn't play mind games would be wonderful to me.

My AS son doesn't get along with other aspies nearly as well as he does with accepting NT's. The other AS kids want things THEIR way, and the sensory issues can collide. Perhaps when they are all older the common experiences will mean more but for now, up until age 11, they haven't.

Yeah I've met an Aspie like that, but then again I seem to attract people like that whether they're Aspie or not.

It is interesting you mention this. I have a very, very close emailo friendship with another AS person and it has reached a real crisis point because i believe we are both so driven by wanting things "my way." it becomes incompatible because of this.

it is very difficult to find compatibility with other AS people for this reason.
we are highly routined people and often other people cannot adhere to how i want things to be. and so... i isolate again. other people who may not have AS are maybe a little more flexible and can accommodate my rigidities a little easier??

i am wondering if that is the case, the more i meet other ASD people.

I don't suffer fools gladly, but I like to judge people on their personality rather than their labels. If someone with AS annoys me, I tend to either point it out or ignore it, depending on how irritable I am.
I think the fact that we're all sitting in our respective safe places, makes our preception of others a little skewed. We're all sitting in Ivory towers, passing compliments or shouting insults from the battlements. It would be nice to meet people on here some time, just to see how people play against my expectations.

do you have an example?

i tend to atleast try and avoid mind games and deception when i can.. but in my relations to others it is very hard to avoid...but my response seems to work, which implies that i isolate myself from these people...i do how ever wonder if i am the problem and not them....

my biggest problem with people in general is that they usually dont want to do more then talk rubbish....while i prefer a intellectual stimulating conversation...

I haven't met an AS person who I outright DISLIKED, or an AS person who outright disliked ME. Then again, most of the AS people I've met have just been acquaintances. Not really FRIENDS. The closest I ever got was a boyfriend with AS...and it was occasionally really rocky. He wasn't an arguing type, just really stubborn and sometimes flaky. And it did hurt sometimes.

Other people that I've met, I've got along with just fine. Then again, there have been a couple that I've met that I just don't feel like talking to. It's not anything personal, but from what I've seen of them, their conversation skills are too poor to hold one for longer than 30 seconds. Or they're a selective mute (who are mute more often than not, especially in public). Or they're the "monolouge" type. Either way, a conversation would be too awkward.

But the majority of people with AS that I've met, I had decent conversations with them. Even though an active friendship may not work out with a few of them (due to something or another), I have no problem with seeing them occasionally. But God help me if I ever had to live with them.

Last edited by Katie_WPG on 03 Mar 2009, 11:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Over the years I've met a handful of people who in hindsight I strongly suspect have AS, and I hated every one of them. I think subconsciously it was far too disturbing to meet someone who mirrored all my most negative traits. Also there were a couple of them who I actually got a little bit close to, and then when people remarked on how similar we were I would instantly get turned off and drive them away.

I found it difficult to remain friends with Aspies I knew in real life. One gal was so one sided all she could do was call me to complain how evil everyone at work, in the store, etc were or only wanted to talk about children's movies and she's 44. Some others talk too dang much for me to handle being around them or they handflap in public which is embarrassing. There's several people on here I wouldn't mind meeting but I wonder too if they would be less cool in person than they are on WP.

Two of my closest friends are Aspies, and we get along great. The one is sort of like a clone of me. They are a special interest-dominant Aspie with a quirky sense of humor. One of my best online friends is also an Aspie. The only type of Aspie I don't do well with is the type who is very shy and quiet. I click with loud, outgoing, rambling Aspies. Like me.
-OddDuckNash99-

I seem to generate fights or arguments here on Wrong Planet by simply answering a question someone asked. I don't have any friends whatsoever and I don't care.

I haven't gotten close to anyone with it besides my twin brother, I say were pretty close. He is similar to me, a little bit less anxiety and stress. I think I often don't pay attention to just how much I enjoy talking with him. Its much different then with other people, I never analyze are conversations, and I can act and say whatever I feel like. I don't much like admitting it, but he is my best friend.

I think if I met someone else with AS, it'd be a bit more likely that I'd become friends with them. I don't know that for sure, but if they think about society like I do, and have as open of a mind. I think we'd fit pretty well.

I'd say the person I connected with the most of any person, almost by far, was probably a guy I knew online. He was NT as far as I know. He was pretty much into every subject I was, though instead of dinosaurs, he liked dragons. And we'd talk repetitively about the topics we were obsessed with hours on end. I miss him, he hasn't been on for many months.

maybe you come off as to direct? i notice that in myself and in some others their emotions come out into the arguments like a hidden force that draws them into a certain state of mind with certain points of view controlled by these emotions....without them knowing so ofcourse...

whats up with those meercats anyways