Why is it soo horrible to say "Shut Up"?

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03 Apr 2009, 7:35 pm

I used to say it sometimes in a "Wow!" type of voice, meaning, that's astounding! I realized that people took it in a different way than I intended- as though I actually meant them to stop talking. In fact, I realized that people lump it in with curse words and obscenities- that same level of horrifying.

solinoure
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03 Apr 2009, 8:17 pm

Hmm... Shut up made this boy cry? I think perhaps the boy needs to be slapped arround a little to give him some perspective... Maybe, I am over reacting a little but I HATE people who use todays namby-pamby politically correct customs to persecute and torment others. I think this child needs a lesson in maners... once upon a time children were seen and not heard (and they walked to school 10 miles in the in the snow, uphill both ways! )

OK - I got that venom out of my system...

I think perhaps rather than tell the boy to shut up he needs to understand that you wish him to "go away and leave me alone right now - l am busy and I don't have time for you - I will listen to you tomorrow - NOW LEAVE ME BE!"

Tell him how you feel and what you want with full emotional content (not anger!) and let it role from there. the kid needs a lesson in boundries. And under today's norms, "shut up" just gives him license to violate the boundries.

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MissConstrue
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03 Apr 2009, 8:19 pm

Fnord wrote:

Because it's is usually said...

"SHUT UP!! !"

... rather than, "Would you shut up, please?"

Agreed!

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Concenik
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03 Apr 2009, 8:38 pm

I want to concentrate on my project and it seems you just want to bug me right now.
If you don't stop bugging me, I'm liable to start getting angry. So just stop it ' right now, k

You could even just watch what I'm doing and that's probably why you're bugging me anyway; because you're interested -but only if you stop bugging me right now Otherwise you really have to go away until later - it's your choice.

sketches
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03 Apr 2009, 8:44 pm

riverotter wrote:

OHH! Sometimes I do that -- really, to almost anybody! Like, to replace the phrases, "unbelievable!" or, "you don't say!" or, "no way!" But I still think it's a pretty informal phrase and mostly acceptable within the teen/young adult/middle age crowd with our good friends. The people I say it to don't take offense, but I don't use it to many strangers in this way. I used to be more informal at school, to anybody (even teachers), but now that I graduated, it's a little tougher and I have to first understand the crowds I join.

tweety_fan
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03 Apr 2009, 11:22 pm

growing up my brothers and sisters and I would get in trouble for saying shut up. we would have to say be quiet instead. My mum did not like us saying shut up.

MissConstrue
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03 Apr 2009, 11:24 pm

Can you guys keep it down?

I'm trying to read.

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04 Apr 2009, 12:23 am

CleverKitten wrote:

Saying "Hush" and "Shhhh" and "Be quiet" are perfectly fine, but saying "Shut Up" is just such a horrible thing, apparently! But don't they all mean the same thing?

I know that "Shhh" is starting to become an impolite thing now, because it was used so frequently, as an alternative to "Shut up". :roll:

If "Hush" were used so frequently, would it, too, become a 'bad' thing to say?

I am asking this because recently, my fiance's little brother was being very annoying. While I was trying to work on a project, he kept spouting off all this stupid sarcasm and jokes (And, as an Autie, I dislike sarcasm and jokes, and he knows this.)

I told him, "I am busy working on this right now and I would like to be left alone."
So I took my project into my room and closed the door so I could work on it quietly. (I was trying to figure out how to build a Macro Photo Studio out of pvc pipes.) He opened the door, stood at the doorway, and continued talking and talking, as if he hadn't heard me at all!

So finally, I told him, "For goodness sakes, will you just shut up!"
And then with a hint of hurt in his voice, he said, "Jeez, fine!" and ran away crying to his mother, and proceeded to tell her that I told him to "Shut up." He was actually crying!

And then his mother came in and sternly told me that "Shut up" is a bad and hurtful thing to say, and to use words like "Hush" or "Be quiet" instead.
Never mind how annoying and rude little brother was being!

I think the boy just wanted to get you in trouble.
If you don't say 'shut up' then how will people know that you are annoyed? You could use 'hush' or 'be quiet' instead but those words won't have the same effect.
He sounds like a bratty kid anyway.
I'd probably just say 'GET OUT!' and slam the door in his face. Or go to his mother and say 'your kid is annoying me, deal with him.'

DeLoreanDude
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04 Apr 2009, 3:34 am

Same reason that swear words are so bad (when they are just words), I guess it's just a neurotypical situation

gina-ghettoprincess
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04 Apr 2009, 6:54 am

Our teachers tell us to shut up all the time.

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04 Apr 2009, 7:07 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:

My mother told us kids to shut up all the time.

My parents never told us to shut up, we got shhh alot or quiet please

Emor
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04 Apr 2009, 7:30 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

Our teachers tell us to shut up all the time.

Same.
Once my family went through this stage where it'd be like;
'WILL YOU SHUT UP SAYING SHUT UP!'
Like, the parents would say shut up and stop saying shut up and the kids would be like but x wouldn't shut up!
(I can't be bothered with quotation marks today).
If it's not common in someone's family, then they may find it highly offensive. My ex-boyfriend's family use to swear a lot, so I was pretty surprised when I went into their house to hear a lot of swearing(not swearing at each other, just using it as an adjective for things). I got use to it though, lol, but if most people talked to him at first, they'd think he was trying to be a jerk or something xD.
EMZ=]

gina-ghettoprincess
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04 Apr 2009, 7:37 am

Emor wrote:

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

Our teachers tell us to shut up all the time.

LOL once when we went on a school trip for a week to an activity centre, our dorm stayed up til 3am doing this routine:
"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!"
"You shut up!"
"I'm telling YOU to shut up!"
"I'm not saying anything, it was So-and-So!"
"EVERYONE shut up!"
"I didn't say anything!"
Repeat.

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grinningcat
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04 Apr 2009, 9:33 am

Given the kids tears, he was probably thinking he was being clever, in the hopes of getting "girl attention" - people will often take negative attention rather than no attention, and this was a way to keep you talking. You shut him down, and that was the real issue. His feelings were hurt, because his experiment in how to get a girl's attention didn't go the way he expected. The mother probably was less upset about "shut up" than she was that she felt her kidling had been attacked. However, if you had taken jr. down to mom and said "I have a project and I need to concentrate. Jr. is distracting, will you please keep him down here?" you might have gotten a more positive result (maybe, some parents nowadays seem to think that they invented kids, given that they allow little jr. to roar around in places like doctors offices screaming and destroying things, and woe betide any one of us who disciplines the little s.o.b.! )

Of course, some little kids have been taught they are the centre of the universe too - for some of them, it doesn't take much for them to go running to mom for back up and tears get you sympathy almost automatically. Oh well, consider it a learning experience. Maybe now they will keep jr. out of your way just because they are afraid you will upset his royal heinie again...

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grinningcat
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04 Apr 2009, 9:46 am

normally_impaired wrote:

It reminds me of how when people type swears, they replace one letter with an asterisk, like s*it or f*ck, I never understood that. You're saying the word, it's blatantly obvious what word you're saying, nothing's really hidden by that one star, but to type the word which you actually mean to say is for some reason incredibly rude, so you have to say the exact same word but apparently make it appear that you don't know how to spell it.

In my youth, I remember calling a boy a rather rude name, insinuating that his mother hadn't been married when he had been born, and he ran home to tattle on me - forget that when I said it, he was beating me up at the time, but apparently my word was somehow worse than the beating I was trying to survive. I got into trouble because I had used a taboo word. I think we get it lodged in our brains that those aren't words we use in polite society, and we do our asterisk swearing out of a small sense of guilt for even thinking it. However, my policy is if the word fits the context, one can use it (i.e. if you hit your thumb with a hammer, you are forgiven if you yell something really meaningful...) :lol:

My ex used to forbid me to say certain words - interestingly I didn't swear (up until then, anyway, then I did it to annoy him on purpose after that).

There are some sites that have censor capabilities to keep things relatively polite too. Makes it interesting to discuss "Moby Dick" when it comes up in the post as "Moby Richard"... :lol:

I asterisk swear on those because it thwarts the censor.

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