You might be an Aspie if...
1. You're a female and you feel like strangling women who think eating fattening food is a bigger sin than, say, drowning puppies. (Mind your own da*n plate!)
2. If someone was bullying you in school and he threatens to "knock you upside yo' head" and he says, "Say I won't, huh? Say I won't." And you take him literally and say the words, "I won't."
3. If at seven years old, you ran outside and refused to go back in after your great-grandmother's new smoke detector went off.
4. If you care more about how your "Sims" are dressed than your are.
5. If you had a house fire, you would save your 130 CDs and 150 Beanie Babies rather than clothes, money and personal records.
6. You couldn't care less about folks remembering your birthday. You would rather spend the day blissfully sleeping and get mad if someone does call, waking you up.
7. If walking toward your Manhattan tenement on Amsterdam Ave. and 183rd St....at 11:00 at night....alone, doesn't scare you but introducing yourself in front of the whole class is terrifying.
8. If, in your 30 years, you've spoken with more people online than IRL and you've only had your computer for less than a year.
9. If you're doing well by leaving the house once or twice a week.
10. Hate most Jesus movies because Jesus is always played by a gentile British actor. The man was Jewish, for god's sake. Quit insulting our intellect with a potrayal that looks more like John Lennin than a swarthy, curly-haired Palestinian peasant.