Got anything random to say: Autistic style

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There's the ever-present fear of being called out for not getting social cues right that is constantly fighting with the ever-present temptation to pull out a kazoo in church and hum a Black Sabbath tune while dancing like a clown down the aisle to the entrance. Or something like that.

Just me?

I think a great autism-themed T-shirt would have these 2 memes on it:

idk, but that's too weird; wearing someone's face
that's not very decent, autistic or otherwise

emotionalism isn't the crown jewel that it is propagandised to be

mind you, everything that is overwhelmingly propagated is not where you need to be
it might facilitate emotional loss of the plot, in an advertisers friendly manner

ahum, truth , there's barely such a thing, let alone stationary (-truth)


The results show that stationary rational expectations equilibria of this model are unstable under this type of evolutionary adaptation. (Cambridge Dictionary)



homo sapiens or homo emotionalis?
Homo Emotionalis On the Systematization of Emotions in Politics
(book)

I feel like my hyperfixations lately are not really on anything good. They're mostly about my hatred of Trump and the state of the world in general. And my fear of who will support me when my mother is gone. Sometimes I think she's the only family member that really does care about me, everyone else is too busy with their own lives.

By paying attention at all to narcissists like Trump, you're actually lending him power - you're giving him any sort of attention. Even Bad attention. He feeds off both kinds of attention, both bad and good. He must get attention through any sort of wild, bombast, horse manure tactics - this is his "narcissistic supply".

Ain't Trump dead yet?

For the first time in my life, I'm starting to think that having ASD isn't so bad (thank you Foster, a possible spectrumer, you are a huge idol and a saviour), what I do have a problem with is the diagnosis. I'd rather have gone through childhood being "mysterious", like Foster was (because he was lucky enough to live in an era where they didn't slap labels on unusual children). Actually he was more intelligent than me but still, I don't think I would have been considered "mentally disabled" and sent to an institution where some people with autism were sent to in the 1800s if I were alive then. I probably would have slipped through the cracks like he did, under a stricter upbringing in the home.
Although he was unlucky enough to have lived in an era where autism and mental health wasn't known of or understood, so he struggled away until he ended up dying alone in poverty.

So I guess there's good and bad in both our eras. I don't know. I'll shut up now lol.

I think that level of impairment and "oddness" caused by nonverbal learning disability and 6A02.0 from ICD-11 (autism spectrum disorder without intellectual disability and with mild/no functional language impairment) is too similar to treat NVLD as less serious neurodevelopmental disorder than 6A02.0 and even enough to consider nonverbal learning disability as "an atypical kind of autism" in many ways.

I've gone through regular repeated indecisive cycles of being in complete denial, angry at the diagnosis for being forced on me, begrudgingly conceding that it has a point, fine with it, back to denying it, and so on. Interspersed with moments where I find it an interesting topic and I really resent finding it interesting because I want to forget. And if I'm interested, I can't forget.
If I veer into the acceptance phase of the cycle, the acceptance feels good at first, but it always leads to grief. Grief for a teenage experience I never had, grief for the adult I never grew into, grief for a version of life I won't experience the same way. I just feel doomed. (Due to having the type of brain, not the label) Atleast when I'm 1. In denial, 2. Not finding autism an interesting topic, I'm a bit more optimistic. But I'm more likely to harshly blame myself for failure.

Diagnosis and immediate aftermath were traumatic in a way that prevents me from being consistently cool with it. Even if it technically fits. I envy and resent late dx crowd for being left alone.

I think that nonverbal learning disability is a pervasive developmental disorder, so that it is in the same group of neurodevelopmental disorders as "classic autism" and that despite the "learning disability" in its name it is not a specific developmental disorder, but a pervasive developmental atypicality unlike dyslexia, but like ASD.

Apparently there is a label for autistic people that avoid doing stuff that triggers auti issues...

Doubt there is a label for allistic people with nut allergy that refuse to eat nuts...

World getting to me today... Exam stress and graduated 25+ years ago... (highschool stuff, 30 years ago even)...

This label for autistic people who avoid doing stuff which triggers autistic issues is pathological demand avoidance (PDA)?

PDA (pathological) or ADA (autistic)... seems they haven't decided if there are 2, if there is a difference and if both exists... Haven't even decided what pda is, don't want to be experiment anymore.
certainly ADA feels like a normal thing todo.

PDA covers the "you do stuff auti's are not supposed to do" covered. Even the 'therapists are useless' are covered (that is not a decease thing, that is experience....). So why should I talk to auti therapists if they stick a label on me that says auti therapy doesn't work on me... Also I'm 50, not 5.

(usually calms me down to find something that fits but just can't understand why most of this is a disorder and sort of like being allowed to refuse therapy, feels that if they tag it as a disorder they can take that away... and feels like refusing is sort of big part of how i got into this)

Both Asperger syndrome and NVLD, in average, have considerable relative weakness in Coding subtest in Wechsler IQ tests, but in my WAIS-R in 2016 my Coding result was somewhere about 80th - 87th percentile (rather high) and was similar to the percentile of my full scale IQ. I had slightly better result in Block Design than in Coding, which fits to Asperger syndrome, not to NVLD, but my VIQ was 22 points higher than my PIQ, which can suggest comorbid NVLD.

I don't get it.
When I went to the city a few nights ago I was expecting to have a few exchanges with the band I went to see.
Instead they absorbed me like I was a lost sibling, introduced me to everyone as "This is Halo...he's a f***ing legend", and I was fistbumping with a whirlwind of faces I couldn't recognise all night.

What threw me was the triple generational divide.
Having never had kids and been pretty isolated for half my life, I've never really learned to talk to the generations after mine.
I've always found gens X & Z to be difficult to be social with.
But these guys are millenials, and I'd guess they're all ADD to boot.
I didn't feel like they were partying with parents around, nor having a hoot with grandpa.
I felt like a teenager again

I'm going to have to try to keep these guys.

Its great you're getting yourself out there again