Cruel(lest) ways you've been rejected?

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What a horrible, nasty a***hole. I hope you didn't forgive him.

One that stands out for me amongst a LOT of rejection is when my family went around to these peoples house where there were heaps of other kids. This girl let all the kids into her bedroom then slammed the door in my face.

My best friend in highschool invited people over on her birthday to a get together and said "oh, i'm free to do something with you tomorrow".

I told her what a b***h she was years later on and it made her cry.

I'm crying now thinking about these. Guess I never really got over them.

My ex-best friend was always "saving her credit" for her family texting her when she's at after-school clubs. WHY? Maybe I'm just bitter cos my family are horrible to me and she is close to her family, but I was kind of insulted by the implication that she cares more about those stupid pointless money-wasting texts full of "x"s that NTs send when separated from each other for more than 5 minutes, than she does about me, her best friend who would have happily kicked anyone's ass on her behalf.

Also, if she was "saving her credit", she would bother to forward on chain texts that say you'll get kissed by the love of your life on the next Friday, yada yada, but she WOULDN'T bother to reply to a proper text that I sent. Even if the text I sent was my warning her that her crush was planning to ask her out as a joke in front of everyone so they'd laugh at her (I could just have easily have sat back and watched the fireworks, but I warned her, because I was trying to be a good friend).

Loyality doesn't appear to get rewarded in her culture. That's why I am no longer her friend.

The same girl I mentioned in my last post never came to ONE of my birthday parties the whole time we were friends. She always had a prior commitment. I only had a party last year because of her. Despite my not wanting to invite the local chavs round to my house, I did anyway so we could organize a kissing game and "accidentally" make it so she ended up with the boy she fancied (the same one who played the cruel joke on her that I warned her about, see last post). I couldn't stand the boy in question, but I let him into my house for her, and then she doesn't even bother to come! (The boy didn't do me the same favour, he came and ended up spending the whole time watching YouTube videos on my mum's computer, then he got pissed off and left early cos someone threw a tomato at him for a joke.)

I thought I was the only one girls had picked for such a cruel game.

And I always thought my best friend had just been protecting me, spending time with me for his birthday, and having a birthday party with other friends.

Certainly explains a lot...

On the flip side, I'm no longer close with him.

In fact, he recently forsaked me for his girfriend, as I've already mentioned. And got an attitude when I sent him some news about my retail website.

I sent him a Happy Birthday wish on Facebook. My room-mate asked if I bought him anything. I told him "that package I shipped him back in December; that was a combined Christmas/Birthday gift...he's not getting anything else from me. Let his girlfriend and his friends who actually mean something to him get him something...."

Yeah, I'm still hurt by it; I won't lie. And mad at him, but whatever...he and I lead different lives now, and I realized the bond we had was dissolving anyway.

It's funny...I once felt down back as a teenager when he told me "you're not that smart, Russ"...as I was trying to teach myself to be a prodigy in science.

Well, today, despite my lack of knowledge in science, my response now is "oh, but I am!"

Of course, given that we are on the spectrum it could be that we are getting the signals wrong. I know girls who genuinely had no interest in a guy and definately didn't send out any signals to the contrary, and yet that guy thought they did.
My question is, do you know what signals means that a girl is interested? I don't want to make anyone cross, but it was just a thought.

When she leaves you no doubt. Or invites you out herself. Or keeps suggesting different ideas of things you two "should do sometime".

Not my party topic

I just remembered and incident that happened 39 years ago. I was invited to a sleepover and wow, I just went manic while I was at her house. The other girls seemed very cool. Hormones on my part, I suppose. I overheard the host of the party, named Karen, complain to the others that she should never have invited me, but that her mother insisted. I felt like a fool and packed up my clothes and left at 10 pm, walking home in the dark (not too far, thankfully) and banged on my door for 15 minutes before my mother would open it. She seemed disappointed to see me, and called Karen's house. They both talked for a few minutes, and I was told I should not have left. What else could I have done? I did not belong there.

Last edited by sartresue on 06 Mar 2009, 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's what happens when parents try and force kids to be friends. They think they are helping, but it just makes everything worse.

I don't think any parents have ever told their kids to be nice to me, but I wouldn't know for sure.

EDIT: I just remembered there was a severe Asperger's boy in my brother's class at primary school, and my best friend's mother told her youngest (who was in that class) to let the boy come to their house for tea one night (I was also there cos I was there with my friend). The mother probably thought she was just helping the boy make friends, but it didn't work because my friend's sister didn't want Joe (that was his name) there, so there were just a lot of arguments and fights over silly things, and then the mother got mad at us all for not being nice to him, but it was really nobody's fault.

I agree. If you are forced to spend time with someone you resent them for it and that makes things worse

The absolute worst was about 20 years ago. I was on a conference call with a bunch of people and I thought at least some of them were my friends. I had to go, so said my goodbyes, and somehow was fumbling for the button on my cordless phone to hang up and heard them continuing to talk, so I stayed on the line. As soon as they thought I had hung up, the topic switched to how much of a loser they all thought I was... man that hurt.

This just reminded me of something else that once happened. I had a job on a telephone switchboard for a while. I worked Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and another girl - who I'll refer to as J - worked Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I always thought that J and me were fairly friendly. There was also a third girl, L, who worked nearby in the building and would provide cover for both of us at coffee breaks and lunch hours.

One Monday, it turned out that J called in sick, and I was asked to come in and cover, which I didn't mind doing. Soon after starting, I happened to look in the desk drawer for something and found - not folded or in an envelope, so I couldn't help reading it - a note for J from L, who had assumed that J would be in on Monday, not me. I can't remember the exact wording, but it basically badmouthed me and made it clear that both J and L had been doing this together behind my back.

Many examples but most of them were in MS and HS. Going into the bathroom stall to use the restroom and having people talk about how stupid and immature I was (didn't know I was in there). Going to sit down at a table and having people purposely not even look my way. Being thrown in the garbage pail a few times my 9th grade year. Walking down the hallway in MS and having people say horrible things to me while laughing. Having my yearbook go across the room and only two people signing it. Having people stand me up on purpose - getting ready and being excited to go out and then people never showing up.

Thank goodness for 11th and 12th grade, I suddenly had good friends.

I've had this experience a few times myself recently. But most of the people involved were good friends from my childhood (yes, they DO exist!) but just lost touch with in adulthood until recently (one of them found me via Facebook). We lived in the same apartment complex and did almost everything together as kids, and often stayed up gaming well into the wee hours of the morning. Talked to one of them for nearly two hours not too long ago as well. In fact, I am strongly inclined to tell him about WrongPlanet - because something in my gut tells me he's an Aspie, too.

Hopefully a bunch of us will be getting together for some kind of cookout and/or weekend gaming marathon in the near future. My parents have already offered up their place for it. So keeping my fingers crossed.

Decided after 13 pages, it was time for something positive.

I have recently started venturing out of the house again after cloistering myself due to some financial idiocy on my part. Part of my solution to the problem is to change up the company I keep to include those with whom I share a common interest - gaming. And getting out of that whole "nightlife" once and for all to include going dry. Those two lifestyle changes have helped me a bunch, both financially and emotionally.

This is a double-edged sword however. While I will likely gain more friends similar to myself, I am committing romantic Seppuku with near-certainty.

Given where I live, the chance of finding a lover - not a bootycall, or a "friend with benefits", or a one-night stand, but a serious romantic relationship - are for all practical purposes not worth considering. Since I don't drink (many, probably most, single women here do), I am Pagan (most of the sober women are going to be conservative Christian), and Aspie ('nuff said there), I have my "three strikes" - so I try not to dwell on it.

Well, that's enough out of me for now - need dinner.

i have had people act all nice to me at first then avoid me later or tease me.