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NTs: What stuff do you have trouble with that Aspies seem to do easily?

To NTs...do you always think when someone's voice gets higher that they are lying?

I received a Christmas gift from my sister in law of a Pop! Spock figure. I was overjoyed but in the chaos of everyone opening Christmas gifts my sister in law didn't seem to notice. I could tell that she wasn't sure if I liked my gifts or not, so when she asked if the gifts were good enough I answered 'they were great' yet my voice went so high it cracked. She took this as proof I was lying.

Half the time I don't even speak in my own accent. When my mood is level my voice is quiet and not full of a lot of expression. Then I can become hyper and everything sounds exaggerated. Sometimes I think due to my social anxiety sometimes when I give compliments they don't sound like I mean them.

But seriously that Spock toy was awesome and I'm just too nervous to sound convincing, and I don't like being called a liar when I was being sincere.

Hi xiaoqi
[/quote]I have a question too.. My aspie partner has a great amount of focus which he can only put onto one thing at a time; and for that time, usually a couple of weeks, he's completely committed to whatever it is, usually a project of some kind, however after those two weeks it kind of goes into the background as another project comes along... I was wondering whether this is something that happens to all aspies, and also if you know of any way to gently break your focus a little without it making you feel uncomfortable, for if I need to discuss something which i feel is either equally or of greater urgency/importance.[/quote]

Best guess.. I dont know if its possible or productive to break focus in this way? Its like a process that must be worked through, and interruptions during this time seem to take away from the individual benefits of the time spent on a project. In my situation I think its how he resources himself, and everyone benefits from the dividends. Aspies, am I on the right track?

Is this an acceptable venue for long, complicated questions?

If so:

What's the best way to deal with an Aspie's fire-hydrant written communication style, especially when it's filled with so many fluff filler words, unnecessary repetition, unrequested irrelevant details and seemingly random tangents that it's impossible to decipher what they're trying to convey? As in, you send a three-line mail with a simple question or sharing something general not requiring a response, and the reply is *pages* long.

This friend, let's call him Marvin, is a really good guy; I wouldn't be trying to get through to him on the communication thing if I didn't value his character, intelligence, kindness, generosity, and myriad other positive traits including being terrific with my cat.

He's regularly inadvertently rude, often comes across majorly creepy, generally smells pretty bad, persistently tries to extend visits ("oh, you're asking me to leave now bc you're tired and after that will need some downtime then have stuff to do? no problem, I can play with the cat next to your bed while you nap") and discounts the efforts my boyfriend makes to reduce Marvin's isolation a bit. But right now, the communication thing is the biggest barrier to getting along.

Marvin complains that people reject him without offering a clue as to what he did wrong. But when I try to share how he comes across, he immediately counters, dismisses what I've said, and starts rambling about something at most vaguely related. So regarding the over-writing, I've been direct, I've suggested replying at no more length than text he's replying to, I've begged, I've pleaded, I've shared my own experience in learning to self-edit, I've told him there's *no* way I can get through his walls of text. It sounds like being asked to edit (and to stop complaining for paragraphs about how much time he already put into editing/filtering) brings up a lot of emotional pain for Marvin.


(Have tried various search terms in hopes of finding this addressed elsewhere on the board; grateful for any links. Or if this question is best posted elsewhere, please let me know.)

Thanks, DK.

He's early-50s, and only recently diagnosed. Has a gazillion reasons why he *can't* write shorter, now including something about if-people-really-had-a-problem-with-reading-long-texts-nobody-would-read-books.

I don't want to write him off, but ...

Hi all, it's been a while since I have been on WP! I have missed you all! Your questions, strong opinions and sometimes amusing ideas! It's nice to be home!

I was very extroverted as a kid.

This was just my natural demeanor/personality....I enjoyed life immensly.....and I never considered that my life was in any way different to anyone else's! That's not to say I didn't have difficulties....I did. Many times, I can remember, I fell out with my friends, such as they were, through some off the wall action of mine! One vivid memory is getting punched in the nose because I let my mate's bike tyres down in retribution for some slight, real or imagined! I cannot remember what he had said or done but obviously my solution was, as usual, a bit of an overreaction! But there were hundreds of situations that didn't rise to violence after which I no longer could call a person a friend. In fact I have worn out the people I have enjoyed as friends and now have only casual aquaintences. Very peaceful, but a bit lonely!

I always played outside as a kid and still love nature and the great outdoors today! The peace of the natural world calms my inner turmoil and I find myself in great meditative moods frequently, while camping or just sitting quietly out in the bush! As I've got older and less fit, I no longer undertake any great strenuous adventures, rather a gentle swim or quietly sit, watching the birds, keeps my mind both stimulated and peaceful!

I have made a life of energetically pursuing activities and projects, which once completed to my satisfaction I NEVER repeat! Strangely, I cannot get interested in stuff I've done before, enough to have another go; sailing, competitive/fitness swimming, carpentry, cycling although I was a successful competitor in my early adulthood! Cars and mechanics are about all, and camping!I haven't been on a boat since 2011! Strange, that was my main interest for about 55 years!

To fill in time at home and to keep my mind active, I read. In the last 10 years since I was diagnosed AS I have read many fascinating non-fiction books....stuff that explains how the peoples of the world interact, historical biographies and accounts of major world events.....WWII, WWI, revolutions, successful people from past and present, and personal autobiographies....all really interesting stuff. I lately realise that I have been replacing the missed relationships from my life with the pages of these books and the tales they hold! Is that so sad? I wonder? It gives me a relationship with someone, without the risks inherent with an AS input! Hehehe..... I also watch a bit of TV...again non-fiction, non-commercial stations.....as I cannot enjoy fictional stuff unless it is in some way historical or instructive!

It all sounds quite boring really! Sometimes I do suffer from ennui but life at last is peaceful, the noise in my head has dimmed and I sleep well for the first time in my life! Must be doing something right!

Why can we not be given an instruction book to help make a life, at birth? Mine would be very dog eared by now!

See ya'll!