31 Oct 2010, 10:52 pm
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08 Dec 2012, 7:09 pm
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
08 Dec 2012, 7:15 pm
08 Dec 2012, 7:26 pm
Erisad wrote:
What about the fat Aspie women who aren't attractive? We can't get a man either. We're viewed as genderless and therefore, not worth a man's time. I can't even get a date from online dating sites because they act all interested and when we have a date set up, they wait until the last minute to cancel. People will say, "ohhh, why can't you get a boyfriend?" and I tell them that I'm not pretty enough to outweigh my AS. So I'm an ugly socially awkward girl, which means I'm male-repellant. People tell me to be positive but how can I when I'm always alone. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking that no one will ever love me, I'll never get married and have kids like I've dreamed of since I was 5. So it's not just you guys who have it rough, okay? :/
Wooooow. I almost didn't recognize that this post was from me 2 years ago. Well, I'm now dating a very nice fella for almost a year and a half and we're talking about spending our lives together. I guess things really do get better when you let them. I've also lost over 80 pounds and feeling better about life. Hooray.
CrazyStarlightRedux
Veteran
Joined: 13 Jan 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,028
Location: Manchester, UK.
08 Dec 2012, 8:13 pm
Any advice on how to actually find genuine woman out there?
My communities are crap and I rarely have time to go out by myself due to anxiety issues....
Random meeting ups and stuff don't work with me as I feel very un-co-operative due to the forced meetings. 
Verdandi
Veteran
Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
08 Dec 2012, 8:21 pm
CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Any advice on how to actually find genuine woman out there?
My communities are crap and I rarely have time to go out by myself due to anxiety issues....
Random meeting ups and stuff don't work with me as I feel very un-co-operative due to the forced meetings.
My communities are crap and I rarely have time to go out by myself due to anxiety issues....
Random meeting ups and stuff don't work with me as I feel very un-co-operative due to the forced meetings.
Try these fora:
Love & Dating: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum6.html
Social Skills and Making Friends: http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum7.html
08 Dec 2012, 10:35 pm
CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA
08 Dec 2012, 10:53 pm
johnnydangerous wrote:
I am a handsome, in shape man who is 33 years old. But because I have aspergers, I am alone.
But if you're a pretty woman with aspergers, it just doesn't matter. In fact men might even like you MORE because of it.
I find this to be so unfair, and so cruel, to the men who have aspergers. There is an old aspie joke that says "whats the difference between an aspie male and an aspie female? answer: the aspie female is married".
How do you cope with the fact that you'll be alone the rest of your life? I'm having a hard time accepting. EVERY WOMAN treats me like I'm the plauge' and I'm so sick of it. They approach me because of my looks, flirt a little, then realize "oh hes different, I dont like him anymore".
I dont even try anymore. Its such a losing battle, and in the end it just brings more and more pain.
You read these websites on how to pick up girls. You have to be the fuggin' "alpha male" b.s. because God forbid you are like me, women just wont like you.
I really have contemplated suicide over this. I'm sick of being alone. Here I am a handsome in shape caring guy, and Im all alone. This world is so fugged up. I dont even want to live anymore. I cant wait for death.
But if you're a pretty woman with aspergers, it just doesn't matter. In fact men might even like you MORE because of it.
I find this to be so unfair, and so cruel, to the men who have aspergers. There is an old aspie joke that says "whats the difference between an aspie male and an aspie female? answer: the aspie female is married".
How do you cope with the fact that you'll be alone the rest of your life? I'm having a hard time accepting. EVERY WOMAN treats me like I'm the plauge' and I'm so sick of it. They approach me because of my looks, flirt a little, then realize "oh hes different, I dont like him anymore".
I dont even try anymore. Its such a losing battle, and in the end it just brings more and more pain.
You read these websites on how to pick up girls. You have to be the fuggin' "alpha male" b.s. because God forbid you are like me, women just wont like you.
I really have contemplated suicide over this. I'm sick of being alone. Here I am a handsome in shape caring guy, and Im all alone. This world is so fugged up. I dont even want to live anymore. I cant wait for death.
First off, don't go after the NT girls. Find yourself a good Aspie girl who has similar special interests.
I met my current hubby online on a forum focused on Ancient History back in '98. He moved here 6 months later, and we married in spring of '99. We've been together ever since. He tends to focus on military history, my interest is in social/technological history (did you know that ancient Romans didn't use cats for vermin control? They used ferrets).
_________________
If it don't come easy . . . .
. . . .hack it until it works right
Aspie score: 142/200 NT score: 64/200
AQ Score: 42
BAP: 109 aloof, 94 rigid and 85 pragmatic
CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA
08 Dec 2012, 10:57 pm
CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Any advice on how to actually find genuine woman out there?
My communities are crap and I rarely have time to go out by myself due to anxiety issues....
Random meeting ups and stuff don't work with me as I feel very un-co-operative due to the forced meetings.
My communities are crap and I rarely have time to go out by myself due to anxiety issues....
Random meeting ups and stuff don't work with me as I feel very un-co-operative due to the forced meetings.
Pursue your special interests in as social a setting as you can. Look around for a good Aspie/Autie girl who seems to be on about the same point of the spectrum as you, and who shares your interests.
Take it slow. be friends first -- Friendship is the best foundation for anything that may follow.
_________________
If it don't come easy . . . .
. . . .hack it until it works right
Aspie score: 142/200 NT score: 64/200
AQ Score: 42
BAP: 109 aloof, 94 rigid and 85 pragmatic
09 Dec 2012, 5:36 am
09 Dec 2012, 5:59 am
Erisad wrote:
Erisad wrote:
What about the fat Aspie women who aren't attractive? We can't get a man either. We're viewed as genderless and therefore, not worth a man's time. I can't even get a date from online dating sites because they act all interested and when we have a date set up, they wait until the last minute to cancel. People will say, "ohhh, why can't you get a boyfriend?" and I tell them that I'm not pretty enough to outweigh my AS. So I'm an ugly socially awkward girl, which means I'm male-repellant. People tell me to be positive but how can I when I'm always alone. I cry myself to sleep at night thinking that no one will ever love me, I'll never get married and have kids like I've dreamed of since I was 5. So it's not just you guys who have it rough, okay? :/
Wooooow. I almost didn't recognize that this post was from me 2 years ago. Well, I'm now dating a very nice fella for almost a year and a half and we're talking about spending our lives together. I guess things really do get better when you let them. I've also lost over 80 pounds and feeling better about life. Hooray.
That's great news
09 Dec 2012, 6:25 am
