Son yells "shut up" when I try to ask him somethi

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And it would be effective proportionally to the distress it causes. There is absolutely no reason why autistic people shouldn't respond to discipline. If the game is part of his routine then it becomes that much more important to maintain it, and he will be willing to not say "shut up" any more. What is more important to him, saying shut up or playing the game?

I was half joking. Of course I think he should be held accountable.

Don't know for sure whether the OP has read all of the responses in the thread or not. Maybe they've read it and are digesting it. I dunno.

I understand what you're saying and basically agree with it. I'm just saying that when his mom just asked him to turn his PC off he got so made he smashed a hole in the wall. Perhaps he needs to be dealt with with a firm but slightly different tact.

I am here to apologize to everyone and to say a couple of things in my defense. Although I did come back onto one of my threads about my son to thank people for their input, in general I have not been on the threads. I guess I wasn''t aware that I had to. I am also in a time zone where I am many hours behind everyone else. I came onto Wrongplanet on Sunday night to post about my sons "shut up" behavior, right before I went to bed. Then I don't usually get back onto this site until the next night, after everyone is asleep. Sometimes it is several days before I can get back on to see the responses..

I am not a troll and not an attention-seeker. Maybe I should have been more involved in the threads. Sorry again.

You don't need to defend yourself. I think that people were worried that you weren't listening.


Are you getting what you want out of this? Are you asking for help/suggestions or just empathy?

Bad idea. If she does that he will refuse to go to school.

pekkla, I think the thing that everyone is finding so frustrating is putting thought into what might help your situation and your son's situation, and then not hearing from you again. When you write a new post that's very similar to your last one with no mention of having tried or even thought about any of the things that anybody suggested, it's hard to fathom why you write again. Several people have asked for more details about the situation, but you write a new post about some new bad thing your son has done, without mentioning any of the variables people have presented that might affect the best ways to deal with it. If you write that he's done something and ask the forum why, and then we ask about the circumstances surrounding it, or whether he has anybody he trusts to talk to, or if certain things might be options, and then your very next post is just a new bad thing your son has done... how should anybody who responded to your last post take that? It seems silly to ask the same questions over and over again, not knowing if you're even reading them, let alone considering them, and certainly not answering them. It's also difficult for a lot of us looking back at ourselves at that age. I'm not the only one here for whom being 13 was extremely traumatic! Putting thought into it is kinda distressing, and then when it seems like the parent asking for that insight isn't even considering the responses, it's.. really really distressing.
And why post if you can't read the responses? Why make multiple posts on the same topic if you don't want feedback?
I think most of us who have responded have done so in the hopes that if you can understand your son, you can help him in the ways that we were never helped ourselves.. And then you seem to disregard everything said and start a brand new post on the same topic.

Can you understand why that's frustrating?
What would be an acceptable way for me to respond to that?

Who's the parent and who's the child here? if he refuses to go to school, ground him in his room without his toys! Take all the toys away. Why are modern parents such wimps? Autism is no excuse for such behavior.

My thoughts exactly.

im annoyed realy anoyed... im going as far as doubting her sons existance... if he does exist which i hope he does then he has all the same problems as i did.. down to the repressive mother... i needs to be left alone.... hes "acting more atistic because the presure is bulilding.... pekkla please respond

are you insane that will make things far worse take away all portals of ecape.. ill say its a form of torture..

She already has responded. I think that some of you are being rather rude to her. It is really tough being a mum to any child, they don't come with a manual, unfortunately neither do autistic children. I personally am not a parent, but I know from what my mum has told me, how difficult it can be to keep control, not only of your child, but of your own emotions. It must be terrible hearing these nasty things coming from your son.

On the other hand, I cannot advise on what to do about the situation, but maybe try and offer some possible insight. Firstly, as has been stated, he is a teenager. Although having autism is also tough for him, mix it with testosterone, growing up and (possibly later) gender/sex confusion, it gets even tougher. All teenage boys will become distant and defensive at some point. My brother (who is NT) does these things sometimes.

Maybe your son is getting the right reaction from what he is saying. If he's learnt that he can shut you up or make you upset and therefore leave him alone, he might be using this as a method to have more time alone. Perhaps he doesn't understand why you are intruding on what he might see as his 'alone time'. As a teenager, I used to be a lot like your son, possibly worse, with threats to kill my mum and myself, smashing up the house (I banged my head through my bedroom door, destroying it), swearing, telling my mum to shut up and (I feel really bad about all of this by the way) physically attacking my mum and brother when I got really overwhelmed. One thing you can be thankful for at least is that you have a diagnosis with your son. My poor mum had no idea about why I behaved the way I did.

Don't worry if you can't reply, just read this and think about it. I can't always be on here!

realy the only person who has responded to me is yourself and i feel no pitty for her as it is... pekkla please resspond to me

Sorry. Misunderstood what you wrote. You're entitled to your opinion on her, but I do feel for her because as I said, I know what it must be like to be a mum with a difficult child (my mum had 2).

its fine.. also my mothas has tree verry dificult children as i said i was nigh identical to her son

She did respond in this thread, not that she owed anything to you;

"I am here to apologize to everyone and to say a couple of things in my defense. Although I did come back onto one of my threads about my son to thank people for their input, in general I have not been on the threads. I guess I wasn''t aware that I had to. I am also in a time zone where I am many hours behind everyone else. I came onto Wrongplanet on Sunday night to post about my sons "shut up" behavior, right before I went to bed. Then I don't usually get back onto this site until the next night, after everyone is asleep. Sometimes it is several days before I can get back on to see the responses..

I am not a troll and not an attention-seeker. Maybe I should have been more involved in the threads. Sorry again."

Scorpileo, I did notice you didn't respond to my earlier question. How many children do you have? You seem to think being a parent is an easy task so I would assume you've had experience raising several children. Am I wrong?