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Why don't we keep eye contact?

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Aimless
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12 Jan 2010, 10:24 am

Wedge wrote:
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Mysty wrote:
I think, basically, because we didn't learn to.

And, along with that, "keeping eye contact" isn't as simple as that wording makes it sound. Because it's keeping eye contact for the right length of time. Keeping eye contact too long is staring, which most of the time isn't appropriate.

So, it's a matter of learning, on a subconscious, innate, level, that we should make eye contact, and for how long, and the whole pattern of it in a conversation. We can't do it if we haven't learned it.


I don't think so, at least not for me. If something causes you distress you don't do it. I'm interested in finding out more about the amygdla thing because I feel very unprotected when someone is looking directly at my eyes. Hey, just a thought maybe it's the other way around. We don't like people looking in our eyes.


I read in Scientif American that autistics don´t keep eye contact because of a disfuntion in the amygdla. The amygdla is the organ responsable for transforming sensory input in emotions. When autistics look in the eye acording to the maganize the amygdla sends the "wrong" emotional response that stresses too much the autistic person forcing him/her to drop eye contact in order to relieve the stress.


The article is this one ( http://cbc.ucsd.edu/pdf/brokenmirrors_asd.pdf )



Also I read elsewhere that Hans Asperger thought that autistics didn´t looked in the eye because he thought that they treated other people the same way they treated things without interest for their emotions/subjectivity etc...

Not nice things to read about!


I was going to ask for a link. Thanks. My fight or flight reaction when someone is looking in my eye is very strong and immediate. It does get less so with people I know well. Now I deal by flitting back and forth.


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Wedge
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12 Jan 2010, 11:17 am

You´re welcome...



PlatedDrake
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12 Jan 2010, 12:30 pm

For me, it feels like im staring when i look someone in the eye. Yet on the other hand, there are so many other distractions going on that i cant really focus (gotta love sensory issues). For example, when someone is talking to me, i tend to look at them, hear what they say, listen, and process. But when its my turn to speak, its like my vision blurs just so i can convey a response.



TheDoctor82
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12 Jan 2010, 2:58 pm

Look...Hans Asperger may've been our original diagnoser, but that doesn't mean he got everything correct, or that he was the nicest guy in the world! :wink:



Skilpadde
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12 Jan 2010, 7:22 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Look...Hans Asperger may've been our original diagnoser, but that doesn't mean he got everything correct


Indeed. According to "Women from another planet?" (by Jean Kearns Miller) Hans Asperger "was aware of the existence of AS girls but explained them away as having a post-puberty syndrome resulting from childhood encephalitis - as opposed to boys, who are born autistic and therefore have the more essential condition. In any case, his subjects were boys; girls were simply beyond his scope."


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Aimless
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12 Jan 2010, 7:27 pm

Wedge wrote:
Aimless wrote:
Mysty wrote:
I think, basically, because we didn't learn to.

And, along with that, "keeping eye contact" isn't as simple as that wording makes it sound. Because it's keeping eye contact for the right length of time. Keeping eye contact too long is staring, which most of the time isn't appropriate.

So, it's a matter of learning, on a subconscious, innate, level, that we should make eye contact, and for how long, and the whole pattern of it in a conversation. We can't do it if we haven't learned it.


I don't think so, at least not for me. If something causes you distress you don't do it. I'm interested in finding out more about the amygdla thing because I feel very unprotected when someone is looking directly at my eyes. Hey, just a thought maybe it's the other way around. We don't like people looking in our eyes.


I read in Scientif American that autistics don´t keep eye contact because of a disfuntion in the amygdla. The amygdla is the organ responsable for transforming sensory input in emotions. When autistics look in the eye acording to the maganize the amygdla sends the "wrong" emotional response that stresses too much the autistic person forcing him/her to drop eye contact in order to relieve the stress.
The article is this one ( http://cbc.ucsd.edu/pdf/brokenmirrors_asd.pdf )

Also I read elsewhere that Hans Asperger thought that autistics didn´t looked in the eye because he thought that they treated other people the same way they treated things without interest for their emotions/subjectivity etc...

Not nice things to read about!


I printed that article and I am in the process of reading it. I think there's a lot to discuss in it. I am imagining doctors in delivery rooms world wide sticking their tongues out at newborns and noting the results. :)


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TheDoctor82
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12 Jan 2010, 7:29 pm

well, just remember that the originators of a discovery or idea usually just have a very rough idea of it, and somebody better expands on it.

for proof, Ayn Rand developed a good portion of her philosophy from Aristotle.



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15 Jan 2010, 3:49 pm

Ok that's a lot of interesting ideas on the reasons for the lack of comfort keeping eye contact, but here's an interesting spin on the question:

Do you look at people's eyes when you watch a movie?

Does it matter if the person is consciously aware of your presence? For me, I find no problem keeping "eye contact" with characters in movies or tv shows. Its as if the anticipation of "what are they thinking of my eye contact with them" is what makes eye contact uncomfortable with real people. Recordings are obviously unaware, so you can stare at their eyes (or at anything else in the scene) and nobody will care or notice.

Do you think this plays a role in the phenomenon?

Another thought: Is it easier to look into someone's eyes when they aren't looking back at yours? I find that the comfort level of looking at someone else's eyes dramatically drops when I notice them looking at mine. Otherwise I don't seem to mind it as much. This plays into the movie issue (above) since the characters are not really looking at you, and you know it. Even if they stare straight at the camera. Is something else going on here that we haven't considered yet?



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16 Jan 2010, 1:31 am

Recon wrote:
Do you look at people's eyes when you watch a movie?

Does it matter if the person is consciously aware of your presence?


That makes no difference at all to me. I can’t look at faces staring into the camera or even a picture of someone looking directly at the camera without feeling the same was as IRL, and I have to divert my gaze. That was one of the problems I encountered when I did the Eye-reading test.

Quote:
Is it easier to look into someone's eyes when they aren't looking back at yours?


Yes, it is. I can look at someone’s eyes IRL if they’re not looking at me, or on TV/photos if they’re looking sideways or simply aren’t facing the camera directly. But the second they look at me I must look down or away.


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16 Jan 2010, 2:44 am

I can sometimes maintain eye contact IF I am thinking about maintaining eye contact.

I thought I had it licked in a business setting but the other day I found myself looking at the wall for probably 80% of a conversation during a business meeting.

To make things worse, this particular business associate is someone that I am very comfortable working with AND who happens to be a very attractive (Asian in this case) woman.

I giggled as I thought to myself;

'If you can't keep eye contact with HER, you really ARE IMPAIRED (or at least having a very off-day)


:lol:


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16 Jan 2010, 2:56 am

Don't include me in "We", I have no problems with eye contact, it doesn't bother me to look other people in their eyes unless they annoy me or something.