Mental Health System Nightmare.

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This is my situation and I call us "lost in the middle" I think the middle group may be the most ignored but the most in need of at least some support.

Its no judgement on higher functioning but if you are sort of in the middle and do not get proper support/help it may lead to very non-functional life. I am saying this is the group that may do super well with help but without it may live at lower level. It is not laziness or choice it is an increase of autism/ASD symptoms but not to the severe level. But definitely not just a "mild" case or just being different. That is why I sort of get stuck on how to share with others on autism boards as some may not have the issues I have. Then some think I am just supposed to be like them. Not saying it happened to me but have seen other middle functioning autistics sort of confronted by some who are not there and then I am scared to post on boards. I am smart in someways with some skills but really severe issues stop me from getting my skills used like in day to day life. I have many days where I can not focus well at all then days I am super focused...

Hope this does not offend anyone. I think the ASD community should keep in mind we may have people at different places on spectrum and to not judge each other as it may be a roadblock for some to reach out to others.

Did this on good focus day could not get youtube to take the vid.:



Link to The Secret Place Video I Made

And herein lies my issue with those who think an official diagnosis of AS means you are real, and not having one means you aren't.

You know...from experience, and I know....from experience, that many of those in the mental health community know...from lack of experience, next to sh!t, too much of the time.

In all fairness there are some in the system who know their stuff, and whether a person is with the government or in the private sector is usually irrelevant.

My best doctor was with the county. I had seen a guy in the private sector for a while who eventually had a nervous breakdown because he couldn't "crack me"...of course he couldn't. There's nothing to crack.

No, I did not suffer from depression (I don't know why they are so intent on thinking everyone they treat is depressed).
I don't have pent up feelings of resentment towards my mother (she knows very well I tell her when she upsets me).
No I was not abused by my father.
No, I did not destroy (insert object) because I am passive aggressive (If I destroyed it it was because I thought it would be fun)
No, I really don't know why I'm here actually.
Yes, I am ignoring you. (Because I have no idea what you want from me. I'd make something up to get you off my back but that would be lying, so I'll just ignore you and shrug on occasion).
No, taking my toys away is not going to work. (I don't know what this work business is and if you haven't noticed, I'm content staring off into space in empty rooms)
And for the millionth time, no I do not hear voices...excepts yours when you just asked me that.

So anyway Dr. Psycho had a meltdown and got fired because he didn't know what AS or HFA was and mistook me for someone emotionally complex.

"Complex" was the word the vocational rehabilitation shrink used.

This was in 1994, so almost no one in the industry had any idea of what asperger's is. I went to voc rehab to try to get help getting my life together. I wanted to go to school because I have a good mind and felt that it would be a waste to not use it. But I was willing to accept any help they had to offer. I'd had countless minimum wage jobs up to that point, none lasting longer than two weeks and no idea why I kept getting fired because I was a hard worker who showed up on time, etc.

The doctor started out talking to me as if I were mentally ret*d. Then he started administering the I.Q. test and his demeanor changed dramatically. Afterwards I took the MMPI and a manual dexterity test involving putting lots of pegs into holes.

The shrink seemed very serious and very concerned after all the testing was done. He told me that I am highly intelligent ("but you already knew that") and a very complex person. He then said that vocational rehabilitation couldn't help me until after I took five years of mental health counseling first.

Five years.

"Complex" must be shrink code for "batsh*t insane."

This is a group I wish I had, one which I think would be very healthy and growthful. And there might well be other such groups. I am open to a variety of experiments. But Wow, I think this one would be a winner!

But, as of right now, no such luck.

(But if we did have such a group, I hope we would go to a restaurant. And we'd all be dressed kind of, approximately, generally the same, and so, no, you couldn't tell by looking who was autistic and who was not. And so you'd have to treat everyone with respect, as a person should in the first place!)

Heee. I thought it was real and you had the kewlest group ever. heeee.

I don't go out at all with mental health system. They try super hard to make sure they don't look like "one of us" even if the person is not ASD. Those caseworkers dont want to accidently be mistaken. God forbid they might get judged as not savoirs of helping people but as one of those lesser people they proclaim to care about.

But they dont care. Most are working with adults in the system until they can get the hell out and go save the children.

Am I the only Aspie who cant spell? I just think fast but my hands are clutzy.

Every time I see a Dr. I get asked about the same stupid questions.

Did my mom ever drop me on my head? (No. I rocked myself out of my highchair and knocked myself out cold) heeeeeee.

Only the Dr. who diagnosed me even acknowledged. New ones that replaced him (high turn over in system) Don't even acknowledge it at all.

One Dr. asked me if I daydream. He knew nothing about me then said that I had ADHD. So I asked him how he could base I diagnosis on one question. No other info. Just that one question alone.

Come to the conclusion that at least where I live you are not diagnosed by your real issue. You are diagnosed by whatever the opinion is of the Dr. you have at the time. It can change from Dr. to Dr. Thats what they are doing with me. So where I live the appropriate diagnosis is serving no purpose. All I learned on my ASD is self taught via internet. I am pretty sure the Dr. who diagnosed me was ASD. He was super logical and all his books where lined up and he was totally obsessed with aspergers. We used to talk about opression and some very different type topics. Not the typical stupid question other Drs. do. I think he could see ASD in me because he had ASD but was way higher functioning than me in living skills but still knew his own kind. Something like that.

It's okay to ask a person, but to try and wheedle a person into saying yes because that's the answer they expect or feel comfortable with or know how to "treat," that's just pathetic. I don't know what they're doing, but they're not practicing medicine. In fact, they're not practicing anything in which one human being sits with another and genuinely tries to help.

Reminds me of the passage in Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman where he talks about getting rejected from the draft in WWII because of the bizarre questions the military psychiatrist was asking him. At one point, Feynman gets disgusted with the psychiatrist and says, "and this is medicine?

Okay, here's the deal, if someone was having trouble breathing where it might be pneumonia, might be something else, and you went to the random doctor, there's a 50% chance he or she would be a good enough listening, that the two of you could have a good enough conversation and make some progress, probably considerably higher than 50%.

But, in the mental health field, I think it's 20% or less, honest to gosh. For all the issues itemized above. 1 out of 5 chance that you will get someone who is a halfway good listener. So, any kind of community center where you're assigned a practitioner and then basically stuck with them, that's a bad situation. Even though you have a right to ask for a second opinion, still only 20% chance that this new person will be an adequate listener. Plus, professional-to-professional "courtesy" and similar dynamics, the new person going to be hesitant to go against the old person. Going to have to be very diplomatic, well, if I had these kind of social skills, I wouldn't need help in the first place! Now would I?

So, short-term and middle-term strategy, we've got to build our own groups, as hard as that may be. And it's not shopping professionals, not that there's anything really wrong with that. It's trying a variety of things until one clicks. And it's being treated with respect every step of the way.

And he had a distinctive stare. And that's such a big deal, that Richard had a distinctive stare?

Apparently it's enough for a 4F.
At least when combined with noticing that people look at other people, admitting that you say "I love you" sometimes when thinking of your dead wife, and twice in your life having a memory of a voice in your head.

I guess it *is* true that all the best people are mad.

Apparently it's enough for a 4F.
At least when combined with noticing that people look at other people, admitting that you say "I love you" sometimes when thinking of your dead wife, and twice in your life having a memory of a voice in your head.

I guess it *is* true that all the best people are mad.

Apparently it's enough for a 4F.
At least when combined with noticing that people look at other people, admitting that you say "I love you" sometimes when thinking of your dead wife, and twice in your life having a memory of a voice in your head.

I guess it *is* true that all the best people are mad.

Yeah, that part, too, the so-called psychiatrist was disrespectful (or lacked skills of recovery) when Richard talked about the sweet memories of his dead wife. Not so cool.

yeah, another example of a 'normal' person lacking social skills, (and that part I find strangely liberating!) we still have a lot of struggle to go, I mean as in reforming the system like it needs to be, and in building bridges for we also have a lot to contribute and the 'normal' world is far from perfect

Last edited by AardvarkGoodSwimmer on 23 Jun 2010, 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Richard may or may not have been on the spectrum. And in a way it doesn't matter.

He definitely did march to his own drummer!

And drummed to his own marches!!