22 year old son is driving us crazy

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When I was 22 I knew that other people had jobs and wanted a job very much, but I didn't have an understanding of what was necessary to get a job. I was very depressed about it, and didn't do much except use my computer. I was told how lazy I was.

I was threatened but rather than encourage me to get a job(since I was convinced that no one would ever hire me) it made me scared that even though I didn't know what to do that I would end up homeless and not have a job and would starve and die. Threatening me made me constantly worried and made me feel worthless. It did not help me become self-supporting.

What would have helped me would have been help getting a job. I needed to know very very specific steps about what to do to get a job. I didn't understand where to look for jobs. I didn't understand how to contact anyone about jobs. I didn't understand the proper way to apply for jobs. I didn't understand what other people thought was important to put on a résumé. I didn't understand what details other people might add and what might be considered unimportant. I didn't understand the exact sentences to say, why to say them, and how to say them. In unfamiliar situations I still don't. It is never safe to assume that I know something about what other people want or expect unless I state that I am sure that I do.

I had managed to get some interviews but would always mess them up. I understood that there was such a thing as body language but I didn't understand the appropriate behaviors. And the answers I would give to interview questions were often completely inappropriate.

I only managed to get a job after I learned about AS and learned exactly how little I understood and how much I misunderstood. Over a period of several weeks I spent hours designing my résumé to make it good. I looked these things up and then watched YouTube videos like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0O4jnIpFB4

Having mock interviews with you or with his father may help. It may help him understand specifically what needs to be done to get a job and might change your perception of him; he may be largely clueless. He may actually be lazy, but he may also be clueless. I definitely was.

I got a job. I got a job doing skilled work, related to something I'm an expert in, and something I've been very focused on since I was a child. I've had a job for a few years now, and my employer and co-workers are happy with my work. I'm able to support myself now and I'm reasonably confident that I am capable of getting another job.

Oh, tell me about it. I've had three jobs in the past 20 years, and they were the three jobs I didn't have to interview for.

For some reason I could never get past the interview stage otherwise.

I have a two-year degree. I got it when I was almost 24.

The requirements for my job don't include having a degree. Many technical jobs only require certain technical certifications. A person could get a job repairing computers if they just had CompTIA A+ certification.

Why do aspies so often forget that it's a spectrum and just because they might be able to get a job easily doesn't mean they all can?

The son in question could be lazy, but I've heard it so often that aspies are called lazy when they're not that I doubt it's the case.

There's often other useful stuff you can do; I tend toward volunteer work, for example. It's important not to believe the people who say you're useless if you can't work, because that's just not true. Everybody can do something.