What triggers depression in Aspies

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Lack of Routine! Horrible. I didn't realize how much my working routine and related structure defined me until I had to Medically Retire. Losing the sense of Mon., Tue, Wed., Thu., Fri., Sat., and Sun. were the worse. Everyday seems like Sunday or another "ground hog day" per movie with Bill Murray! Holding on to executive function can be hard without a routine. It was no problem when I was working. There was alway a feeling of flow. I always dreaded the thought of retiring when I was young; it happened much sooner than I thought it would. I feel so lucky to have had the priviledge to work! I feel bad for the young people that have such a hard time finding work. In general lack of a defined purpose causes me to feel depressed and lost.

rejection and inability to mix with the social norms triggers depression

I think I was about 11 or 12 when I had my first real "depression". My grade school teacher wrote in my report card that I never smiled once in the whole year. Yet, that year I finished grade 6 and 7 in the first 3 months of school and sat by myself in the library the rest of the year reading a book a day because my parents would not allow me to advance to junior high school. They were afraid I would be too young to make friends. How ironic, I didn't have ANY same age friends at that time anyway.

I remember very clearly deciding not to smile that year because all the kids thought I was a freak and teased and bullied me so I just totally avoided all emotion. Star Trek had just come on the TV then, and I really thought Mr. Spock had the right idea- just don't have any feelings at all.

When my best/only friend died in a plane crash when I was 19, I had a huge reaction and was "depressed" for a couple of years. Things like my cat dying would make me grieve for months more too. I don't know if its real depression, as I often don't feel really sad, just kind of empty or flat and my face lacks a lot of expression anyway, so people TELL ME I am depressed. I sometimes practice a smiling expression in front of the mirror so people do not say "What is wrong- you look sad" to me.

I think its the loss of the stability of a friendship/family relationship that will get me down the most, or things that might lead to it, like an argument. It took me a long time to get over my dad's death bcause he was always understanding of my differences and it didn't matter. He died 3 years ago now.

This happens to me, too. As far as what I do? I concentrate on the present. After the replay's done, that's in the past, too. It's kind of difficult to describe. I just set it aside, since it has no bearing on the present.