Something i have noticed on this site!

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I've noticed that, too.

True there is the edit button but you have to remember that even though you can see what you are saying, you are not going to know if it's nasty or not or if it's going to upset people. That is one of the symptoms of AS.

I am always thinking when I type and what to say and what not to stay and to stay on topic or not say things that are irrelevant but I know my posts will still be read wrong or someone will still get upset by them. I can't please everyone and it's the same for NTs too.

Communication problems also effects how someone makes their posts because they don't know how to explain things well so people may misread them or think they are contradicting themselves because of the way that person communicates. But then again it could be the person who is the one misreading the posts or misinterpreting them and it's not the person at all, it's them.

That wasn't nasty at all. It just sounds like the other person has issues so they made it be your problem. I swear some people just like to attack others for no reason to make themselves feel better because they have issues. Now that person was nasty, not you.

Perhaps because there are so many things that Asperger's impacts that this is a profoundly clueless and inaccurate statement, and using it to suggest that women have it easier than men in general (which I have seen multiple times on this forum, and I don't even go near L&D) is pretty trivializing and insulting.

I had an easy time getting dates but I never knew what I was supposed to do on dates and I had a lot of difficulty sustaining a relationship due to lack of reciprocity. Even the one relationship I had that lasted for years turned into me ignoring my now-ex as much as possible (but this was also due to abuse) and that we had a relationship at all was not about my ability to maintain one, but my ex's belief that she could flatter and cajole me into providing sex on demand, which I did not want to do and could not have done if I'd wanted to. My primary participation was that we shared a hobby/interest.

I actually agree with anbuend's statement some months back: The idea of not being able to have a relationship being one of my worst problems is just alien to me. Not because it is easy for me to have relationships, but because a lot of other things are even more difficult.

It's never so simple as one factoid.

So you saying i am mistaking nasty posters for just trying to set out and get justice served? Whereas i might not be able to comprehend that i might infact be the one behaving like a dick?

i have been accuessed on another site once off "Not knowing what it means to be a good person"

As for the one "abusive" female poster you mentioned, I am pretty sure I know who you mean, and I think you completely misunderstand what she's trying to say to you. It may be that she comes across badly in this regard, but some of the occasions I recall her stepping in and bluntly telling you to do something, it was after other people had given you advice that you seemed to reject or ignore. I know when I've participated in your threads in the past I felt like interacting was going in circles with no resolution in sight.

Who is that directed at?

Maybe its more a matter of not realizing why some of the things you say are considered so offensive.

It the above example;

If you go onto the love and dating section of this site and say "Females with aspergers have it a lot easier than males with aspergers in the dating world" the women on that part of the site will go abosulty ape sh** because they can't stand hearing the truth. not saying they are 'nasty' or anything but they can become abusive and rude if you post things like that. just another examnple of bad posting experience i have come across on this site.

You make a pretty biased assumption in that statement. You claim that it is the truth - that AS women have it easier in dating than men - yet it is pretty clear that you are not an AS women, have never experienced dating as an AS women and have no knowledge or experience in what difficulties an AS woman may have. In short - it sounds as if you are suggesting that having a vagina that men desire makes things easier for woman. It is a male biased statement based on assumptions - not on 'truth'. Any time you paint a picture in absolutely terms - always, never, all, everyone - you are going to run afoul of pissing someone off.

If you are stating and opinion always preface it with 'I think', 'in my opinion...' etc... presenting it as fact will get you shot down everytime.

^^^--- This.

My point in my previous post was that "dating" was not the be-all and end-all of everything.

I have seen another thread talking about people being jerks on this site - in the women's subforum, talking about how frustrating L&D is because of this specific topic.

i probably just make these offensive statements cause i am not very cultured and need to get out more

I don't know. I make offensive statements and I used to get out more.

As far as it goes, most of the time I really don't assume ill will with anyone, even if I disagree with them. I think there are some people here who really have tried to be complete a***holes to everyone, but there are many more who are just blunt and speaking their mind.

There are a lot of interesting people here, for sure.



This NT v AS mindset is unhelpful. There are horrible people of all neurological persuasions - it's not on autistic / non-autistic lines. Other people may just be able to shield their nature far better.

Everyone makes offensive statements. I see that a lot at Babycenter and I have learned breast feeding vs formula feeding is a strong topic and so is WIC and other gov assistance and parents leaviung their kids off at daycares when they aren't even working, making baby food vs buying baby food. I see lot of offensive statements there because people are so absurd with their opinions and act holier than thou and one of them actually expected someone to work full time and then go to school at night full time because they view it as wrong to get on gov. assistance and you should do everything the hard way. I asked if I read that right and then asked what about sleep, how would the person sleep. I just thought that comment was very offensive because it was very absurd but I didn't say it was offensive and stupid. I was even hoping I read it wrong because I didn't want to believe someone can think like that. But I got a PM saying I didn't read it wrong and some people think spending time with your family is a luxury. My response to that was "wow."


So everyone makes offensive statements. I am sure I have made some myself. It be arrogant of me to say i never have because how do I know I haven't? Here is the thing, if someone didn't like what I said, I probably made an offensive statement to them even if it wasn't offensive.

I know I can say new unusual and unpopular things, and sometimes I verbally harangue someone up if I see error or ignorance. Others verbally harangue me if they think I am incorrect

I usually get attacked for my ideas, but I am like a dog with a bone, unless I think I have made an error in my statement. Then I may apologise and admit fault, depending on how the criticism was written.

New ideas and ways of looking at things are very hard for some people. Many react in anger or derision if their views are challenged

At the end of the day, we all can make mistakes, and we are all nasty at times. Its called being human.

Douchebags

Ball bag.

First off, this place or any other place on the internet will always have their resident trolls. It doesn't help either that other sites like ED purposely tell people to troll this place because they know we're easy targets (highly sensitive) for e-drama. With the kids out of school for summer, I expect an increase in trolling. There's a reason they call summer 'troll season'.

Secondly...I think they may come of a being mean when in reality their just being brutally honest. NTs may lie to one another so to not hurt each others feelings. While an person with AS will give you a honest opinion regardless of your feelings. We're honest to a fault.

Third, the media often portrays autism negatively. This results in ignorant/discriminating behavior for those uneducated about autism.