However, I always knew I had something. I knew many of the symptoms, but I wasn't sure whether it was autism or not. In the old days, only severe autism was really seen as emblematic of anything of signifigance. I also blamed my parents. I was ashamed that they were intellectuals. I felt that the World hated people with education. I felt it everyday. Also, the total lack of community. I wish I was born in a close knit community, and that I never moved one block from it. I never wanted to be an intellectual. I hate the fact that I think too much.