Self harm

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I used to pick at my skin and bang my head on walls out of boredom never really thought of it as self harm I did punch myself a lot during meltdowns

Every time I hit my own head, it was out of pure frustration, like there was nowhere else for the energy to go.

I put an end to that. I decided that since NTs get to declare, demand, and "require" all the world to yield to them and their own little quips and comforts, then therefore I am going to claim that right as well. Now I simply don't put up with anybody's crap. I know how I will end up in a meltdown, and I won't go there no matter what.

My ex used to have me in epic meltdowns and after the divorce she admitted to me that she did it on purpose because it made her feel "alive".

So I am done with meltdowns and hitting myself. Let whoever or whatever that would lead to it rot.

I've had a lot of problems with self harm throughout the years. I've gone through periods of cutting with a razor blade, hitting my head on the floor/walls, punching myself in the head, digging my nails into my head and biting my knuckles. I recently sprained both of my wrists when I picked up a chair and slammed it into the ground. That was the point at which I decided I'd better start seeing a therapist to figure out why I have "anger issues" (assuming it was something from my past) - not long after, I learned about autism.

I didn't know that "skin picking" was considered to be self harm, but I can see why it is. I pick at my lips pretty much all day, and it's not uncommon for me to cause them to bleed. I also chew on the insides of my mouth all the time, and sometimes that bleeds, or I 'accidentally' do it to the point where I hurt myself (it doesn't hurt usually).

My skin picking has gotten really bad lately big problem for me......I also scratch at my arms and punch my legs sometimes when I have "freak-outs" as my sister calls them (like meltdowns).

Yep. Punching my legs, hitting the side of my head when I was a kid. More dangerous methods as an adult. I use it mostly as a way to calm down when my OCD builds to a point that I can't think about anything else. Shock my brain into resetting. Think about nothing else but pain for a few minutes. Then calm down some as the endorphins kick in.

Most distressing part of it, for me, is the fact that it works. It works extremely well. Better than any med. Better than vigorous exercise. It's also addictive, so to the younger members of this forum, I urge you, PLEASE be careful. Get help. This habit can get out of control very quickly.

Yes, it's a tricky one. It really does work in terms of calming you down quick and yes, it can become an addiction. I am no biologist but I understand the chemicals your body generates in reaction to the cutting to essentially be opiates. This means you can think of cutting like giving yourself a hit of heroin or morphine. Effective but highly addictive, damaging and probably not a long-term solution.

Also, I forgot to mention, after I had mostly stopped cutting and was about 20, I sort of honoured that part of my history by having some scarifications done. I had a large Chinese dragon on the lower half of my leg and later, had sort of lighting/flame type bands round both wrists. I look quite alternative with piercings etc so it fit well and it seemed more flexible/temporary than a tattoo. In fact it freaked people out a lot more than a tatt would have even though it is essentially just a tattoo without the ink. I still have the feint scars of the wrist bands which do a reasonable job of hiding other, harder to explain scars in that area so I at least have an excuse if anything gets noticed.

The only things I did was hit myself on the head with various objects in anger; but as I have explained, back in June I slit my wrists when I finally snapped at myself over how frustrated I was in my life.

I've never had issues with self harm but then again I'm rarely ever sad nowadays. I can probably imagine it is a quite a big problem among people with Asperger's though especially during adolescence when bullying and low self esteem are ever present issues in an Aspie's life.

As far as I'm concerned, self-injury is any intentional injury you inflict upon yourself that is not vital for survival. (Biting, scratching, hitting, kicking, cutting, burning, piercing, etc.) I have self-injured in the past and present and it's likely that I'll continue to do it in the future. There are three reasons I typically self-injure.

1) I'm on the brink of a meltdown where I have very little control over myself. I have an intense amount of energy that needs to go somewhere and so, I self-injure to let it out so that I can control myself long enough to either block the meltdown or remove myself from the situation so that when I do end up having it, I don't harm anyone else. I also do this when I'm feeling numb, so that I can feel something that reminds me that I'm still alive and I'm still human.

2) I'm a masochist. (I think that's pretty self explanatory. )

3) I want to. It often has a soothing effect on me, and I like the aesthetics of it (the blood, bruise, scar, etc.).

I realize that this is not something that most people do (particularly neurotypicals) and that they would find it to be "unhealthy" but, at least in my case, I'll agree to disagree. I see it as just another form of medication. It has pros and cons that each individual has to recognize and decide if it's the medication they want to use. I don't think those who choose to self-injure should be looked down upon anymore than those that choose to use BC, Asprin, Prevacid, etc. They all have cons (side effects that can cause injury or in some cases death) and they're not necessary for someone to survive but somehow, just because they're cons aren't as obvious as other forms of self-injury (such as cutting), they're "okay". That's absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. I'm a rational, logical, competent, (psychologically and physically) mature individual. Why shouldn't I be able to choose to do with my body as I please? So long as I'm not directly contributing to the detriment of humanity (rape, murder, etc.), why should I be forced to adhere to the standards of others?