Page 3 of 3 [ 47 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

22 Jul 2012, 1:37 pm

I don't think many people like crowds. Too many people at one market or in one shop is just a hindrance to eachother. But NTs still seem to be able to cope more and some say they can block other people out and focus on what they came to look at/get. Also most NTs seem to know where to stand and what position to be in, where as when I'm in a crowded shop (or any shop really) I always manage to be standing in everyone's way, no matter how hard I try to get out of the way.

Ohh, who'd be me?! :roll: :roll:


_________________
Female


howzat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,802
Location: Hornsey North London

22 Jul 2012, 2:05 pm

I don't think height is an issue however the problem i have with crowds is they often walk on the middle of the pavement with their arms sticking out and blocking the way secondly they stand way to close to me when they is plenty of room this means that i have to move out they way for these idiots to go through.



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

22 Jul 2012, 2:05 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I don't think many people like crowds. Too many people at one market or in one shop is just a hindrance to eachother. But NTs still seem to be able to cope more and some say they can block other people out and focus on what they came to look at/get. Also most NTs seem to know where to stand and what position to be in, where as when I'm in a crowded shop (or any shop really) I always manage to be standing in everyone's way, no matter how hard I try to get out of the way.

Ohh, who'd be me?! :roll: :roll:


I also always seem to be in someone's way!!Part of the problem for me might be a problem with spatial relations (I'm diagnosed with NVLD along with AS) so it might be harder for me to navigate through an area around other people than it is for most people. I'm 5'2 (and a girl) so I'm fairly short but I don't think that has much to do with my fear of crowds (and I have a severe fear of crowds - sometimes I get panic attacks in crowded places and I avoid them to a ridiculous extent). Sensory overload in crowds is a big part of what I fear................there are just so many different noises at once and so many different smells......when they mingle together it just creates this sensory chaos which is overwhelming and terrifying for me!



byakuugan
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 104
Location: Bakersfield, California

22 Jul 2012, 2:35 pm

It might be because NT see each other as equals, while AS see others as objects/inferior, so an NT will be more likely to have empathy and imagine being the other people and can stay out of their way. AS usually never say things like excuse me and will just wait for the other person to move out of the way.

I don't like large crowds, because there are an overwhelming number of variations to analyse regarding somebody trying to harm you. In smaller crowds, there are less variations to analyse, so I can usually prepare to **** any ****** who tries to touch me. An NT has the tendency to overload their mind on purpose so that they don't have to be very exact when going through life.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

22 Jul 2012, 4:35 pm

Quote:
It might be because NT see each other as equals, while AS see others as objects/inferior, so an NT will be more likely to have empathy and imagine being the other people and can stay out of their way. AS usually never say things like excuse me and will just wait for the other person to move out of the way.


I don't really like hearing ''NTs'' and ''empathy'' in the same sentence any more, but I know one of the reasons why I'm always in the way is not due to anything to do with empathy but because a) I am usually following someone around in shops, who is always taking their time, and b) Murphy's law. Also I find other people (mostly women) very annoying when it comes to shopping. When I'm looking at something, most women don't wait their turn, but will rather push in, maybe just about muttering ''excuse me'', but just doing it all in the most annoying way. Men, however, will wait their turn, unless they are in a hurry, but even when they are in a hurry and don't want to wait, the way they want to get past me to grab something still does not annoy me in the way women seem to do it. Maybe it's because men have more time on their hands, whilst women have more pressure and seem to be in a hurry all the time, I don't know.

Also, I hate, hate, HATE it when people try to squeeze in the tiniest gap behind me when there is another way to get past me that's bigger and easier for them and for me. Like if there is one of those basket things selling little things in the middle of an aisle, and I'm at a shelf on the right of the basket thing trying to do what I came in the supermarket to do, and along comes somebody (not needing to get anything off any of the shelves near me, just coming by) and instead of making life easier by going round the left side of the basket thing, (which would be a lot quicker), they try to squeeze themselves and their trolley through the tinest gap behind me so I've got to stand on tiptoes, looking at the massive wide gap the other side of the basket thing, and seeing them struggle to get through too, then when they're through they don't say sorry and they just disappear out of the aisle, and I'm standing there thinking, ''now what was the point in that?''
Men normally do go round the other way, rather than trying to squeeze past me.

No offense (because I'm a woman myself) but some women are so annoyingly stupid.


_________________
Female


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

22 Jul 2012, 4:52 pm

byakuugan wrote:
It might be because NT see each other as equals, while AS see others as objects/inferior, so an NT will be more likely to have empathy and imagine being the other people and can stay out of their way.


I don't know that we see others as objects or inferior, I know i don't.


_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.


Nymeria8
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,251
Location: New York

22 Jul 2012, 4:57 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Well some are not as lucky as you guys. it would be handy if someone who is not tall could answer this thread.

i myself am 5'9 1/2 - 5'10 in height (not tall not shot) which is bang in the middle. Seriously though u do get a lot of big guys over 6ft out in public and i tend too get jealous and annoyed off these big guys.

that said in big trainers and with my slim build i can look 5'11-6'0 so too others i may look on the taller side even though in reality i know i am not.


Very "not tall" here. Only 5 feet or so. And yes this is definitely one of the reasons I hate crowds. Not only can I not see where I am going but my ears are where everyone elses elbows are and they never see me. I hate it.


_________________
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- The Dalai Lama


Nonperson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,258

22 Jul 2012, 6:30 pm

Well, I don't think people with AS tend to be short more often than anyone else. Considering that more men are diagnosed than women, the average should be taller than for the average person.
I'm 5'9" (and a woman) and just feel conspicuous and wish I was shorter. Crowds are hard to deal with because they're confusing - too many people to keep track of and it's impossible to predict their movements, and that makes me nervous. I find myself getting in people's way a lot too. It has nothing to do with "seeing them as objects/inferior" :roll:, I just can't predict where they are going if they don't do it with any pattern, because I can't read minds as they apparently can.

Hm, I wonder if I could predict it if I looked at their eyes more?



CyborgUprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,963
Location: auf der Fahrt durch Niemandsland

22 Jul 2012, 6:31 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I don't think many people like crowds. Too many people at one market or in one shop is just a hindrance to eachother. But NTs still seem to be able to cope more and some say they can block other people out and focus on what they came to look at/get. Also most NTs seem to know where to stand and what position to be in, where as when I'm in a crowded shop (or any shop really) I always manage to be standing in everyone's way, no matter how hard I try to get out of the way.

Ohh, who'd be me?! :roll: :roll:


This is also true of myself. Countless times I have been told to "move it!" or "get out of the way!" all the while making a 360 while standing in the same spot, looking like a deer in headlights. This is when it's best to act like you don't speak English and go about mumbling in German or Icelandic about how much you hate people in stores/malls.



loner1984
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 564

22 Jul 2012, 10:52 pm

Try going to a place with say 300 people all talking at once.

Thats how i have it in my head when more than 2 people are talking.

I cannot understand or seperate what people are saying, it becomes one big scrambled mess in my head and i run out of energy very fast.

Im not sure how people can ignore and focus on sounds and such, i take it all in. Like throwing everything in a blender and press go and let my head is trying to sort it all out.

It surely must be amazing being able to think, focus and talk when there is other noises or other people moving, talking doing stuff.

My mind cant handle that.



NatureLover
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 101
Location: Texas

23 Jul 2012, 12:57 am

I don't think I feel that way. I'm 5'4 and height isn't really a problem, but when it comes to large crowds, I get anxious and annoyed at once. Too many people closed to me makes me feel uncomfortable and it irritates me cause all I want is to get out of there. All the noise they make, all the shouting and laughing really hurts my ears since I'm sensitive to loud noises that others don't even find irritating. If someone accidently pushes me or bumps into me, I get so annoyed but I keep it to myself because I am the "quiet" type. It's like I want to push the whole crowd to one side just so I can get out, I can't stand having too many bodies and noises close to me.



oncebitten
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2010
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 91
Location: MICHIGAN

23 Jul 2012, 9:39 am

I know the noise is overwhelming... Does anyone think they're really sensitive to smells also? Crowds - perfume, BO, bad breath, food... I get hit with smells. My family laughs at me - they say if the neighbor next door farts I can smell it. It's not like I WANT to, but sometimes smells are soooo clear to me - but no one else seems to smell them. Crowds are bad - especially when it's warm - the smells are tenfold.



Blownmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 825
Location: Norway

23 Jul 2012, 1:11 pm

I'm 6 feet (1 meter and 83 centimeters) "tall", so being short has never been an issue for me. The average height in Norway for my age group is 5 ft 11 1⁄2 in (1 meter 81.6 centimeters) so I wouldn't call myself tall nor short, it's just my height.

For me the problem is too much motion all around me, hard to stay focused when distracted by everyone. I usually solve it by looking downwards or at the floor when navigating through crowds.


_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200


byakuugan
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 104
Location: Bakersfield, California

23 Jul 2012, 9:17 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
byakuugan wrote:
It might be because NT see each other as equals, while AS see others as objects/inferior, so an NT will be more likely to have empathy and imagine being the other people and can stay out of their way.


I don't know that we see others as objects or inferior, I know i don't.


I was only reading the page http://www.scienceagogo.com/news/200003 ... _sys.shtml and thought it was pretty true, but maybe it is only true for people who are publicly discriminated against on a daily basis. A normal person sees somebody as someone to make friends with or interact with or have sex with, while I only see people as an obstacle to get past, in order to increase my safety.

Joe90 wrote:
I don't really like hearing ''NTs'' and ''empathy'' in the same sentence any more

The empathy of NTs is more artificial and short-lived than the empathy of AS, but it allows NTs to function better in large crowds. The empathy of AS is more "absolute" and is beyond the scope of any normal social interaction, so often it can seem like it is not there. Also, NTs are a majority, so they will think about what is best for an NT, while if an AS doesn't know what is best for an NT, the AS will appear to not have any empathy.



Blownmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 825
Location: Norway

24 Jul 2012, 1:17 am

byakuugan wrote:
The empathy of NTs is more artificial and short-lived than the empathy of AS

I can fix that statement for you. "The empathy of some people are more artificial and short-lived than the empathy of other people.


_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200