Now that I know.... I even more of an PAIN!

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I have a title for a thread: "Psychic experiences of non-believers"

I am one of the later, broadly speaking, and have had several of former. Intrigued?

Graelwyn opined:
Be interesting, but maybe too heated and controversial, to have a thread on unusual/psychic experiences among aspies.


SinsBoldly states:
Heated? Controversial? I'm in! They don't call me "Sins Boldly" fer nuttin'!
Merle

Yepp - I did the same, I went thorugh it all... I thought it was the marijuanna! -when I quit smoking, I alos quit searching and experimenting (I have even tried telekineses to success - 1 light switch, 1powertool, A cigarette but trajectory re-trajection, Nature/Wind and Rain - and I am talking instant - noe precursor to cheat on the dillusion, ie it wasn't windy , it wasn't cloudy, breaking: can't remember too many to mention, prediction: can't remember either)

-feeling the people around me I have learned to stop - 1 because it feels 'mental' 2, I felt people that died later,, making me feel like I had a part in cosmos that shouldn't have been (god like sysndrome)

After a good days sleep in a coffin padded with my native earth
I rise at dusk, and with hisses and piercing eyes silence the day.

I feast on caffine and nicotine, muting hunger for souls dammed,
The fruit of actions I let ripen, till hell's gate behind them slams.

Three things they understand, the one's with whom they stand,
those below they can torment, and their Masters deamon sent.

Rejected by the common herd, for knowledge rare and use of word,
I they would torment to the grave, show who is master, who is slave.

Lacking wit, an eye, an ear, void of love and filled with fear,
lesser beingings sent to taunt, my specter does them haunt,

looking into their eyes, slithering in a world of lies,
in places never willing used, corrupt souls I abuse

they see the world to them without, secret sins hid in doubt,
in places dark, unbidden, I feed fear, and free the hidden,

most I send upon their way, forever touched, for within I slay,
cursed and rejected their life lies, for once looking into my eyes.

few seek more than life's disaster, knowing fools some seek a master,
from my lips they hear no lies, as I softly enter through their eyes,

through deception, corrupt abuse, thoughts of poison or the noose,
hidden from life's cruel toll, lost within a child's pure soul,

What you have known, it did abuse you, lie, decieve, and use you,
here I find you hidden bound, driven far within by human sound.

I came here where none could find you, I claim the right to unbind you,
I rule the night by passions rapture, I claim your soul by right of capture,

All of your past I must now kill, of poison blood I drink my fill,
Your journey done, life's cruel trek, lift your chin, expose your neck

I do not come to force and make you, you must give for me to take you,
life's burdens you were made to bear, now give them up without a care,

I know all, learned with a stare, you have suffered long unfair,
come to me, it will all cease, I will grant you lasting peace.

Come willingly to my embrace, act for yourself with natural grace,
I see you smile, hidden joy unfold, you will to do as you are told.

now I feed to hearts delight, that freely given without a fight,
a little bite, your neck does bleed, thank's for giving to my need,

You I say are a delight, I welcome you to the night,
now that I am fully fed, you ask why your not dead?

my words were misunderstood, I wish you only good,
childish soul, no lies or deceival, my way is I feed on evil,

Your past is gone and forgotten, prison walls crumbled rotten,
I destroyed, but one thing only, a child's soul no longer lonely,

You know the world is the same, it's their nature, a favorite game,
cruel thought their way to destroy, an innocent child their favorite toy,

You know true, your heart beats faster, you have finally found a Master
in my realm silent and dark, all things are seen by your soul's pure spark,

Ah, you wonder what I am after, sparkling eyes and lots of laughter,
your empty now, a brand new start, I only care for the pure of heart,

Yes our realm is nocturnal, here we gain a life eturnal,
hellas realm is bright, but the universe is mostly night,

I am the Master you will serve, part of a chain we all preserve,
to you I will be father and mother, Master here, slave to another.

you are young, it is all so new, the effort great, the worthy few,
gave your life to flee disaster, but to another, you will be Master.

the world of evil can be overcome, a gift of magic for only some,
now you stand pure and awaken, see you, your first steps taken,

stript of all but immortal life, freed from hatred, anger, strife,
a smile I see, I smell no fear, I know that you will like it here,

The Master minions commands, my word is law in all my lands,
my power in the world is effective, you will obey my directive,

cookies and milk, a bath and bed, a soft pillow for your head,
everything is as it seems, I will protect you in your dreams.

You, from the evil of the day, I will protect and hide away,
Learn the way at your pace, someday me you will replace.

[quote="Erlyrisa
-Reading body language is what put me in hospital. - Imagine being in a room with long time friends, while you think everyone is talking to you throught thier body language. -I just absolutly refuse to read any body language anymore, even though it's so easy (I think NT's don't even know what it is that they are saying with thier bodies, when it's obvious they are lying through their teeth verbally, I think that's why I fell inlove with my X, her body language always said - I like you, to everyone-> but of course always pissed me off when she was talking to male strangers, I would always acuse her of being covorted)[/quote]

Here's a point where we differ. Pisses me off too, but my mask won't show it. This is when I start my little demonic game. I'm watching their body language giving off the lie, lie, lie and I call them on it with my own body language. It needs to be a lie that isn't the little white kind, something that is actually hurtful to someone. They move something inbetween us and I'll move something out of the way. They cross their arms or legs and I get in closer to them. Poor examples but it's the way I do it. I might be doing the complete opposite (from my body language) with my voice (watch out for me if I drop my voice an octive, I'm soothing you) and words, smiling all the time I'm pouncing on them. I try hard not to do this anymore, it isn't nice. But sometimes others aren't to nice and I kinda loose my cool. Get me around a bigot and I'll rip them apart and they'll never know what hit them. When I whack them, I don't feel guilty in the least. I do have some remorse for the others, some just can't help it, not their fault of they were raised badly. They're an adult and should have addressed it, is my excuse. Hey, I never said I was a nice guy. It may even be some sort of revenge on my part, but like I said, I try very hard not to do it. I do know there are others out there that do what I can do and they don't do it for anything even remotly other then their own self interest or joy of giving pain.

I cheat at chess doing this too. I only can do it with those that don't keep the stoic approach, they're the ones that are good at the game. You can cheat another way too. Everytime they come to play, saw a little off the bottom of their chair. Pretty soon they'll be at eye level with the table and you'll tower above them. Hard on the furniture though.

This thread has picked up from where it began. I grew up in a fairly hostile world. The 50s in the deep south was traditional, kill or be killed. There was nothing new age about it.

It was in school when I first noticed hostility, directed at me, by my teachers, for one, I am not pure white. My second fault is I am smart. As they glared at me day after day, I did get the message. Only it was not the one they wanted to send. They were projecting their fears. It was not hard to follow them back to their source.

I was always taught it was impolite to stare. Having nothing else to attack, several teachers claimed I was not paying attention. They demanded that I look at them. I did. Humans do use most of their energy through the eyes, and soon I learned that they had a lot of fears. I was bored, and once within, saw barred doors. I looked in, and let a few fears loose.

One of my teachers had a mental breakdown and quit, and two others refused to have me in their classroom. The Principal was perplexed, I had done nothing, said nothing, did my work, made good grades, and all they could say was they did not like the way I looked at them.

I have a poker face, I hear it's an aspie trait. He asked why I looked at them, and I said because they told me to, and looking him in the eye thought he was doing well betting on football, and he thought his flock of women teachers a bit much.

Later I tried it out on bullies, a most insecure lot, they project their fears, and when reflected back, not the response they sought, feel you are not playing fair. Being tall, rather thin, smart, and in trouble at school, I attracted more than my share.

Eye contact is a rather refined art, look at the people here who do not understand. What I found was, eye contact with a deeper focus, say four inches behind the eyes, freaks people out. I found it very useful, and many years later learned of it in a book, a very advanced work, on martial arts.

As the world is very conditioned, within a limited range, things outside that range send signals they cannot read, a problem of aspies. It generates a strong and negative response. That was just what I wanted, so I worked on it. Shifting the focus in and out really messes with their mind.

Then there are the perceptions, when they try to project fear, their's, and the channel is blocked, it starts a feedback loop. It also shows where the fear is kept, and moving slightly side to side, the point of deep focus moves in their head. It makes it hard for them to concentrate.

Perhaps aspies do some of this not knowing. Look at the bridge of the nose, it is neutral eye contact. Unless of course the person is just giving you a hard time, then hey, they started it.

After a hundred times I learned to reach in and flip open a few doors. Never had much problem with humans after that. I am sure thoughts can be projected this way, look at what girls do. They do have other motives.

When I perceive someone making contact with mal intent, I maintain a social mask, and construct an image of me cutting open their chest and eating their beating heart. Then with a fake smile, hey, I'm here, I project the image focusing on the occiptal cortex. Suddenly they remember something important they have to do somewhere else.

I have heard it referred to as being a pusher, someone who can drive other people's feelings. In Deamonology it is called binding, in martial arts, stealing the will. I think aspies have it in both positive and negative forms. Some seem to draw in other's feelings, Yuck! Others drive people away without intent.

My education has, as you might guess, been broad. Not much in the way of transfer credits, and no Degree programs. A lot of traditional education has been about mental maps. It is a very old field. It seems that a very small number of obsessive people have always been around, and I find records hidden in plain sight, in the strangest places.

Some times have considered it the highest gift, and others the worst curse. The present seems neutral.

Nice. How do you do that, Inventor? Every time I turn my back on you, you metamorphose into a totally different person. I think you're a committee!

Nah! If you were a committee, there'd have to be a few "weak" characters on it, and I see none of those. Thanks for existing.

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On the subject of body language, etc, I was surprised at how many are saying how good they are at it. I can maybe see how that happens.

I have always had a pretty easy life. I doubt I even came across the idea of body language until my twenties. I've never bothered much with it. I'm pretty sure I have never learned any. Eye contact was a surprise, too, when I found out that such a thing existed, but I did learn the basics of that.

I see that others have had occasion to learn these skills, just to survive. The AS way is that, if you decide you need to know something, you learn everything about that thing (unless you get bored).

So... I wonder where I go for my Masters (and brown belt) in B.L., E.C and other such skills?

yer right, knowing is painful.

Nice poem Inventor.......

Some lines gave me goosebumps,some made my eyes well.So many conflicting emotions within the human.


On OP....I thought aspies were "blind to body language"?Do we learn it intellectually over a lifetime?I was a psych major in school,so I did learn some of the basics.I probably learned more by being "invisible" and studying humans in groups.I found them fascinating subjects(when I was in the mood to observe).Sometimes their insecurities and stupidity would bleed through so strongly it would become painful.....I would need to go home and take a hot shower and read a good book to get the negative residue out of my brain.

I have read an interesting theory about AS and "empathy".There are some "experts" who do not think that people with AS are
hypo-sensitive to human emotion but,in fact,hypersensitive to it.According to this school of thought,we are so aware of human feelings that we find it painful at times and are over stimulated by it(and perhaps confused by it,as the emotions themselves are illogical and confusing......call it,an allergic reaction to cognitive dissidence).I believe they came to this theory through talking with those with AS about their "feelings of pain" when looking into human eyes.Why would we have this sensation?

When I first learned about AS,I remember thinking it could not apply to me.I often feel physical pain when observing others pain.Some pain I am oblivious to but I seem to be "tuned into" people and animals(yes people are animals),who would be defined as "vulnerable".It made working with people with DD and now,working with dogs,painful at times.Painful because I feel their pain and sometimes what they want to end the pain,yet I can not end it and therefor must remain in pain myself....it sucks.

While I cannot answer for Inventor, I can answer from my point of view and he might agree with me. When we were learning this ability, it was a matter of survival, might be a little overstated. It may very well do with both of our ages, we had to figure it out, help (poor choice of words) wasn't as handy, nor school systems aware. Yes it can be learned from a more formal point. My current counciler was relieved that I understood it, it saved time. Her having to teach it to someone can vary on the time needed to do it, most dependent on the student. I believe I was slapped in class at least once by every English teacher I ever had and laughed while they did it.

Inventor, I'm begining to think reads minds and I told him so. He nailed me to a tee in my hello to the group. And did it in a poetic/story form. I don't know how he does it, but I like it.

I like Inventor, he makes me think of Merlin, lol. Everything, or most of what he says has this sort of natural wisdom although I still hesitate at some of the words used, which even I would have to hunt down a dictionary for heh.

Telepathy... well, I believe in it, but anyway, this isn't really on the topic, but rather in reference to something a few people have mentioned.