give a history of your experience in school

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Reception (Kindergarten): One friend, one particular vivid bullying memory
Year 1-3: No friends, but not bullied
Year 4-5: 2 friends, some bullying
Year 6: 1 friend: increased bullying
Year 7-8: Started secondary school, no friends, really bad bullying.
Year 9-10: One friend, bullying slightly better.
Year 11: No friends - one above had moved - bullying again better:
Sixth Form: No good friends, but played football in break. Most bullies hadn't got the grades to continue and had left.
University: No friends in Year 1, but not bullied. Few friends now (Year 3)

Overall school was awful, but I'm better off now.

Yeah, real bullying stops once you start dealing with adults. Then it becomes something else.

Primary School (4 - 11): did OK and was pretty bright. That meant I ended up sitting with and coaching other kids - hated that. I was however very slow, because I had to be meticulous and get things exactly right.

I had friends at school (I think) but it was rare any of them ever played with me out of school. My so-called best-friend was pretty evil to me on occasion, when I think back. I was actually pretty well liked by the girls then, mostly because I was quiet and didn't pick on them like the other boys did.

Secondary School (11 - 18 ): all boys school - what a nightmare. Being nerdy in a macho environment isn't good. Couldn't organise myself at all with homework and stuff - just used to sit there confused as to what to start with and how to do it (especially if it was something abstract). Got to the point where I made myself sick to bunk off school. I was bullied, oddly by the year below me. For some reason the toughest kid in my year was relatively friendly with me (never known why he didn't pick on me), and so I was left alone in my own class. Only got through exams because I have a great memory for facts and figures and could cram overnight for a test and pass.

University: another nightmare, but in a different way. Having to work out all the social rules which I'd managed to avoid up until then really screwed me up. Had some friends, but never heard off any of them since then. Generally got on with women as a "friend", but could never progress any relationships - that was my worst time for feeling inadequate, weird, unattractive etc. I made my biggest and most embarrassing social mistakes then, usually with women, because I just couldn't read the signs or know how to respond.

It was at university that the realisation that I had something bigger than just being "shy" hit me. I studied psychological disorders and finally found AS which matched a lot of my "symptoms".

This is so like my experience it's uncanny. I did a Masters course, which luckily was part exam, part dissertation. I got a distinction in the exams, but just could not get my head round the dissertation. In the end I ended up with a PG diploma on the strength of my exam results.

I lived at my parents' home & so had an excuse for avoiding people on the course "out of hours", as I had to commute.

I feel for the AS kids with executive dysfunction in the UK today where so much work is now coursework assessment, even at schools.

In my own way of illustrating my time while I was in school, it could be best summed up in the following manner. I had a great deal of trouble with learning various things from mathematics to English however, it was not impossible for I did manage to pick up on the various principles & techniques but, from my own way of doing things which, often perplexed the teachers yet, worked for me to understand and learn in the best way possible.

Beyond this, there was also the constant problems of being bullied by a bunch of jackals and such which made school-life to me very annoying.Anyways, this may be a short way of describing my school experience but, it's one of the most accurate ways for me to put such into words.

ProfessorX

Kindergarten: was afraid to go because I had dreamed that school turns boys into airplanes, and I didn't want to become one. Popped awake terrified for days (after starting) - would check my head's silhouette to make sure no wings or propellers were developing Spent most school days with mouth taped shut and butt taped to seat by my teacher Miss Trace. Poor woman, if she's still alive she probably still carries the bite mark I left on her thigh when she untaped me one day.

1st grade: couldn't read and daydreamed all the time (about...dinosaurs! !!) - so off to special ed!

But first ... to doctor's office to examine my hearing: "His hearing is fine. He's just ignoring you. Hit him on the head to get his attention before you tell him anything." It was doctor's advice, so it was followed precisely. [May be why I unconsciously flinch when I'm daydreaming and suddenly realize that someone is talking to me now ]

Special Ed: loved playing with clay all day! Had a good friend named Norman. Norman liked me because I let Big Betty choke me whenever she went berserk. Big Betty liked me too because I pro-actively told her to choke me whenever she needed to feel better. She obliged me once or twice a day. My neck is consequently much longer now, so I owe my height in large part to Big Betty's chiropractic care.

2nd - 6th grade: placed back into regular classes in the "C" (slow) group. Daydreamed all the time. Had trouble reading at all until 4th grade; could read, but only slowly by 6th grade. Teacher conference resulted - they recommended that I not be allowed to go to Junior High. "He could learn a trade ... perhaps become a garbage man..." (actually, that was what I wanted to become while in kindergarten).
I loved to watch the garbage trucks devour whole couches.

7th grade: family moved from Chicago to Tennessee. Ended up in a small town with a small school. Eclectic teachers Mr. Goodson and Mrs. Thompson were my saviors. They let me study whatever I wanted at my own pace. Mrs. Thompson saw that I was interested in science, so brought me a bunch of college level science/ physics books. ("Here ya go. I don't understand this stuff myself, so don't ask me any questions. You'll have to teach yourself. Knock yourself out!", she said with a kind laugh.) Best thing that ever happened to me!

High school: made wonderful by my older sister. She noticed how stilted/unusual I was. She's autistic, very smart, and learned very well how to fit in - kindly paved the way for me. She worked with me and taught me how to kid around. Introduced me to her friends. I became very popular by my senior year (but never dated).

College: dad said "Chuck, if you want to go to college you'll have to pay for it yourself." I always figured that at age 18 you should set out on your own (always had these odd preconceived notions), so I said my "Goodbyes" and off I went. Having rarely read a newspaper (read too slow), only allowed to watch TV for 30 minutes a day, and having lived largely inside my own head for most of my life, I entered the world clueless. (think Forrest Gump). That may have been my saving grace. I never "knew" that I had limitations of any sort. I never "knew" that I wasn't supposed to try or do certain things. So I did whatever I was interested in doing.

I was homeless during some of the next 5 years, joined the U.S. Marine Corps, worked for the State Water Control Board in Richmond, Virginia, and got double Bachelor's of Arts in Biology,and Zoology, with minors in physics, chemistry and English. Was solitary during this period. Intended going into oceanography, or mammology, but switched gears and went into pharmacy to help my dad (at his request).

Pharmacy school was easy but boring. I became more social there and made lots of friends, but didn't date. Became the president of the student body of the college of pharmacy my senior year. The most enjoyable part of that period was teaching anatomy to the medical students.

Later, went to massage therapy school out of interest in its art.

I'm sorry that a lot of you had such bad experiences in school. I hope that you realize that you are all very wonderful people.

I'm not going to describe college because it wasn't that long ago. I'll do Preschool through 12th grade.

Preschool: I had two friends. One was a smart blond girl I'd known for as long as I could remember, and the other was a girl who made friends by asking "Will you be my friend?" I answered "yes" because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, and she asked "Isn't it great to have a new friend?" I was tall for my age, so the teachers pushed me into academic tasks I wasn't ready for. (They thought I was four when I was two). I tried to avoid work as much as possible. My peers often asked me "Why do you walk on your tippy toes?"

Kindergarten: I started hitting and pinching other kids, and I still don't know why. It could have been my response to the large class size and sensory overload. I was friends with a boy who went around hitting others with me. This girl and I would pee our pants on purpose "for fun." I had a good teacher who liked me and thought I was smart, despite my behavior problems. A "special lady" would take me out of class every day to work on behavioral and academic topics with me. She did this until I left elementary school.

First grade: I still hit other kids. If anything went wrong in the classroom, the other kids immediately blamed it on me. I made a couple of friends, and one who would be my best friend through 4th grade. She was a "good girl", and I got seated next to her on one of the rare days I was being good. She was one of the few kids I never hit, and we liked to pretend our school supplies were people. The teacher that year was mean to me most of the time.

Second Grade: On the night before my first day, I told myself I would be good and stop hitting people. In general I did stop hitting, but had a few slip-ups. However, the hitting behavior had been extinguished by the end of second grade. I made no new friends and became closer to my best friend. I had a very nice teacher who had pet rabbits.

Third Grade: My best friend and I were not in the same class, and I was devastated. I began to get made fun of that year, and became enemies with one boy in particular. The teacher wasn't that memorable, but she read good books to us.

Fourth Grade: People started teasing me more often. I developed a crush on the boy I'd become enemies with. He and his two buddies made fun of me all the time, and I confessed my "love" for him to my best friend. A popular girl "went out with him" and I was jealous. My mom went back to work, so I had to go to an after school program. I had "good girl" behavior at this place and "bad girl" behavior at school. My grades began to suffer, as I hardly ever turned in work. I had a few okay teachers and was ahead of the other kids in reading.

Fifth Grade: I developed a crush on the smart boy. I followed him around and forced hugs and kisses on him, and only knew halfway that this behavior was inappropriate. I continued to get made fun of, and my behavior alternated between hyperactive and withdrawn. I drifted away from my best friend, as I think she was embarrassed by my behavior. I became close to another "good girl", who was from Vietnam. (We're still in touch today). She and I loved to pick mulberries during recess, or search for insects. I started to hate the confinement of school so much that I'd gag myself to throw up. My mom blamed the vomiting on my antidepressants, and allowed me to stay at my grandparent's house. They eventually caught on to what I was doing, but it took them a while.

Sixth Grade: The Vietnamese girl was my best friend by this time. I didn't understand the concept of "cool clothes", and many of mine had holes in them from the pet rodents I owned. I started to physically attack kids who made fun of me. One time I dived to protect a spider people were going to kill, and everyone thought I was trying to eat it. Everyone called me "spider eater", and one guy who made fun of me got sprayed with the bottle used to clean the overhead projector. He proceeded to chase me down and bring me to the floor. I also got regularly pummeled by a 16-year-old 8th grader who rode my bus. Kids played "pranks" on me all the time, although they were mostly ineffective. Someone once "glued my combination lock shut", but it was easily pulled open. I was often in detention or suspended, and my grades were horrible.

Seventh Grade: I got more into makeup and clothes. I made out with random boys in public places, and was "boy crazy." I often talked about "cute boy's butts." I became friends with sisters I met by riding my bike, who didn't go to my school. I became close to them, but I didn't abandon my previous friend. At school, I was sort of friends with a girl who had Tourette's syndrome. One of her tics was wetting herself when she didn't have meds to control her bladder. She was made fun of worse than me, and sometimes we made fun of each other because we wanted to feel better about ourselves. I had a crush on a boy with Tourette's Syndrome, and he and I would chase each other around classrooms. I was often in detention or suspended, and my grades were horrible.

First three quarters of Eighth Grade: The worst time of my life so far. My mom remarried and moved me out to a different school district. I became part of a "group of friends" at that school, but I got into a fight with someone they liked. (I didn't know the one I fought was in alliance with them.) The girl made fun of me for my weird behavior in Spanish class, so I threw scissors at her. I was in a class labeled "OD Study Skills." (I think OD stood for Oppositional Disorder.) I was the only girl in the class, and the boys called me a "bad girl." In my journal I wrote "I like the boys in OD study skills because they say what they think." I was often in detention or suspended, and my grades were horrible. One English teacher seemed to like me and recognized my talent for writing. I was too fearful of praise to interact with him, although I was grateful he existed. I eventually got kicked out of that school when someone called me "freak" and I proceeded to kick him down the bleachers.

Last Quarter of Eighth Grade: I had a looong time to recover from Satan's school. I moved in with my dad. A public school in my original district took me, and I was in almost all Behavior Disorder classes. These classes were a joke. We did crossword puzzles and watched "educational videos." We had no homework. I made friends with a girl who was in all these classes with me, and she's one of my best friends to this day. I solidified my "good girl" demeanor, and for the first time I was left alone. I learned that as long as I didn't talk to most people, I was not made fun of. I decided to do schoolwork and and get good grades. Therefore, I developed the identity of "smart quiet girl" rather than "crazy violent girl." These were the two identities I had been struggling to choose from between kindergarten and 7th grade, and I had finally made my decision.

Ninth Grade: As "smart quiet girl", I was made fun of much less. There were still incidents, but I was mainly left alone. I befriended a group of geeky "good girls" and maintained decent grades. I focused mainly on school, and fought my way back into mainstream classes. I had proven that my behavior problems had dissolved, and that I could do academic work. I had a crush on a guy I'd known since kindergarten and became his acquaintance. The success of my day depended on whether or not I saw him, and what happened when I did.

Tenth Grade: I began to resent the high school I attended because of the stupid people. I didn't feel like I fit in with anyone, and I didn't want to. However, I also didn't want to feel lonely. My close friends went to a different high school, and I became determined to transfer to that one. I had a crush on a Korean kid in my English class who was obsessed with computer games. We talked every day, but we never became close. I ended up dating my old crush's best friend, and that relationship didn't last long. I was infatuated with my Creative Writing teacher.

Eleventh Grade: I transferred to the school that had my friends in it. I liked it because it was an old, elaborate building that resembled a castle. My grandparents had attended in it the 1930s. I had my first serious boyfriend at this school, and got to see my friends every morning. My grades continued to be good.

Twelfth Grade: Similar to eleventh grade, except I became obsessed with a delusional guy who thought he wasn't human. He would become the bane of my existence for the next five years, but I had no way of knowing that. We "dated". I got frustrated with him and we broke up, and we "dated again." I developed a crush on my Chemistry teacher. I would have graduated with honors, if not for Geometry.

don't tell me you like those dolls?! the creepy ones?! hehe, they are cool, and (very) creepy

cool you like photoshop, I also love it do you have a flickr or deviantart page?

---Preschool---

My mother took me to the preschool at our local YMCA. She went up the gym and I attended the preschool. I don't remember anything other then a single image. I am looking at the paintings on the wall, pretending to be interested, while the other kids are busy talking to each other. I want to leave.

---Kindergarten---
I repeated kindergarten. It was thought that I was not ready, socially, to proceed. The only thing meaningful that probably happened is I went from one of the youngest in the class to the oldest. I remember in the first year I had one or two friends although I don't remember the context. I went to one girl's house a couple of times. I had fun one time, although when her parents had a pool party I was basically lost and didn't know what to do. I have a couple of images in my head. There was a computer class, I am off by myself. Another is my quickly following instructions to get in line after the end of music class while others are goofing off.

---First Grade---
A single incident overwhelms all others from the first grade. During math class we were told to go to a small box and take these cards out, do them, and get them corrected by the teacher. After that you were to get the next card out in the sequence, ect... Well, I was too nervous to go the teacher and get the first card (I still remember it's color code: red) corrected, so I did it over and over again. Eventually she upbraided me about it, and I was able to continue. However, this kind of anxiousness effects me to this day.

---Second Grade---
I don't remember any names of the people in my class, or the teaches. I remember watching a softball, or baseball game, have vague remembrances of sitting by one of the basketball hoops, and of (once) participating in a baseball game, but nothing more. I was also teased a lot, although it stopped abruptly after my mother died. My dad, perhaps partially because of my complaints of heavy teasing but also because of the need to find an open spot in a school for my brother, switched me to a different school for the next year. When I told my classmates this I was surprised that they were unhappy at the news, and desired me to change my mind. I felt bad and attempted to encourage my dad to keep me their but I was unsuccessful.

---Third Grade---
Third grade was somewhat awkward I think because I didn't no anyone. I got teased a lot, particularly by one person (who I later met again in High School and seemed nice enough then). I didn't really have any friends in the normal sense that year. The teacher was a nice lady.

I want to mention this because I think it is important. I think this is year that it happened. Perhaps partially as a result of teasing, although that is NO EXCUSE, I lashed out and teased a girl while I was walking to the place I was staying after school. I can say this happened I think at least twice. This person later become a sort of friend (someone Aspies would call a friend but I'm not sure an NT would). I wish I had remembered it at the time because I would had apologized. There was another incident in the eighth grade that wasn't, probably, as severe, but I still think I behaved in an inappropriate fashion. There was a person that kept coming over to me and my couple of friends and asking to talk to us. This person had a unusual personality that could easily be described as “annoying.” But I (and my friends) were (probably, my memories are somewhat vague) too harsh, and inconsiderate.

---Fourth Grade---
I got my first friend, Mike, in the fourth grade. He was definitely not an aspie. He had more of an “outcast” personality. He was into heavy metal (he first inspired me to actually purchase a music CD, which I never had before, although I never got into metal beyond Metallica) and video and computer games (he was more successful here). The fact that I would up in this class required a bit of luck. In fourth grade, due to the increase in new persons (including my new friend), the class split into two. Do to same miscommunication or something I wound up in the wrong class, however this wasn't communicated until several weeks into the school year, and at that point it was decided it was best not to mess with what was already established.

My fourth grade teacher was a “funny guy,” at least in corny elementary school terms. In the third grade he would “hilariously” stick his head in our classroom window, and do things I don't remember anymore. There were rumors however that he was actually a slave driver of a teacher, but I found that to be non-sense. He seemed to be the same basically “funny guy” inside the classroom as outside. He gave people in the classroom nicknames. Mine, which I hated, was “Jimmy Jimmy Co-Co-Puff.” I never told him that hated it though. My grades were OK, no better, because I didn't care much for homework, or studying. Without studying, you can forget the upper levels of the times tables (unless you are a math whiz, which I am not). Despite my current love of history, it had yet to set in with the current social studies topic: “Pennsylvania.” Meh...

---Fifth Grade---
In fourth Grade we were kings of the lower floor. In fifth grade we jumped onto the upper floors as the dregs. Still, the fifth grade was an improvement as I made yet another friend, my last close one for the rest of elementary school. This one had also arrived in the fourth grade and was a member of the other class. With some cast-offs everyone packed together in the fifth. My friend, Tim, I don't believe was an aspie, although he may have shared my personality type (INTP). We talked about many of the same topics, He joked to me once that he had initiated the friendship, but I denied it insisted that I had, however I am pretty certain that he was right. Both he and Mike were usually the driver in whatever was going on (except for when I was, with great difficulty, calling to go over his house).

Teasing took a step down in the fifth grade as my “nemesis” left. A person who happened to be a distant cousin took on the role of my primary tormentor, a role he would eventually abandon around the seventh grade.

The fifth grade is the time when some other people, both boys and girls, started talking to me, usually briefly. This seemed to signify an understanding that even if I if I was not a deeply involved member of the “gang,” I was still welcome.

In the fifth grade I also have this image of doing an art project. I mention this to just say how much I hate art projects. I couldn't do them at all.

---Sixth Grade---
In the sixth grade I had a teacher that was some sort of family friend, which was sort of weird at first. I think I got used to it though, although it may not have been the best year overall. My absences began to increase due to both headaches and due to (something?). I am surprised at how little I can actually pin down to that year. Hmm...

I did, and this is the continuing of a earlier pattern, develop a couple of sort of semi-friends that I held on two to varying degrees until the end of the eight grade.

---Seventh Grade---
Teasing, what was left of it, almost completely stopped in the seventh grade. This isn't to say I became super-popular, but somehow the class became more of a “unit.” We split our classes between the seventh and eighth grade teacher. The seventh grade teacher was really popular. I think this is when my interest in history began. I got a rare blemish (although it didn't effect my grades) when I brought in some dirty blond jokes from the Internet at the request of some some others. I, embarrassing in retrospect, (falsely) claimed I just handed them off without knowing what they were (today I would have acknowledged my full part). The teacher gave a lecture on why they were would be offensive to blonds, to the pretend approval of the class who were laughing at the jokes moments before.

This was the only year that my science fair project was worth anything or actually finished. That is because I did it with my friend Mike. I felt bad because he did most of the planning and while I wanted to do it with him again I didn't blame him for doing it on his own the next year.

In the seventh grade we had these things call “The List” in which we ranked girls according to how much we “r found them attractive. I lied and went with the crowd choice. This wasn't the first time I had done time. At a birthday party of a friend, he had had a sleepover, and there was this thing where we were each asked who were felt was most attractive. The first time I answered honestly, and there was a shocked reaction. I then claimed I was joking, but I wasn't.

Our school trip in the seventh grade was changed at the last minute from Gettysburg to the Philadelphia Zoo. Half the class, including myself, boycotted the trip. Silly me. Gettysburg great, but what's wrong with a trip to the zoo?

---Eighth Grade---
I missed 60 days, or a third of the school year in what paradoxically was my best year of elementary school. In the fourth quarter of the year I made honors for the only time. I impressed everyone, not only at my classmates, with my knowledge, in the current events category, at my brief future high school's academic challenge. People talked to me more, although in a video recorded late in the year by students I still remember the signature image of me walking alone away from everybody else. We had a great teacher. He really inspired my interest of history.

Our class fiend trip was to New York City. We went to Liberty Island, but the timing was screwed up so we couldn't go to Ellis I. I will never forgot being on top of the World Trade Center (the difference in returning in late '01 was stark and painful).

---High School---
I went to a high school with one of my close friends, Tim. Our lockers were separated far from one another (due to difference in our last names). I tried to maintain our friendship like it was before but it really wasn't realistic, and Tim eventually (not in a rude way) made it clear that he thought I should make friends on my side of the building. I was having problems before this time and soon I dropped out.

I was home schooled pretty successfully (I had good tutors), and attempted to join the public high school system unsuccessfully on two occasions. Eventually, I joined an alternative program that combined highly individuated schooling with therapy. For the most part we were left on our own and left to do our assignments, but we were helped when necessary (like me in Math). I found this very efficient. I made a close friend while in this program. I was there for two years.

4-5 1/2: Special Ed Kindergarten (as a "healthy" kid) for kids with motor and visual impairments, loved it, got on OK but only really aware of 3 kids there (blind boy who used to entertain us my clowning in class, girl who was there as a neigbourhood kid with me - she suffered oxygen deprivation at birth and has moderate learning difficulties, and a boy I used to walk home with whom I "wanted to marry" - we never actually spoke to each other, ah, what realistic awareness of marriage at such a young age!). My biggest memory is of going round the garden on the ace tricycles they had there

[Normally you do Age 5-7 kindergarten and 7 onwards school]

5 1/2 - 6 1/2: State Kindergarten, hated it although loved the coloured beads. Bit a kid (he tried to bite first...) and insulted the teacher in front of class repeatedly by blabbing out things I shouldn't have. Teacher hated me & the other girl from special ed because she thought a special ed place could never work as well as a 'normal' one.

6 1/2 to 8 1/2: First block of Primary, didn't like it particularly but knew letters and numbers already, and could focus on learning what I was rubbish at (ball skills, handwriting and some maths). We were taught to read and write (both of which I had learned at 3 1/2) with word strips, just like they do with autistic kids. Didn't interact socially but had bouts of verbal diarrhea. Teacher seemed to hate me, but that may have been subjective - I was sensitive to criticism. I was frustrated with a lot of things but because I worked hard by the end of term I could do everything they asked from us.

8 1/2 to 12 (Second block of Primary, start of the school year changed somewhere around that time): We had the acest teacher ever, we did lots of creative stuff and he really challenged us and put in lots of his own time to support dyslexic students etc. He taught us a ton of things about how to work and highlight material and prepared us amazingly for high school. Socialised with one or two outside of school, one because she was a neighbour and my Mum organised playdates and the other because I was obsessed with detective stories and we were in the same adventure playground scheme.

12-16: High School - Started out bad in maths and geography (loved geography but the teacher kept doing on the spot tests in front of class etc.) and bad marks in oral participation throughout. Became increasingly aware of an utter lack of comprehension, started to realise others actually learned something in school and that there was such a thing as paying attention in class. I tried it and failed horrendously... Had a friend - American dyspraxic girl who was intellectually gifted & skipped a year so lost touch. Theory of mind and verbal internal monolgue developed in this time. I didn't like it...

16-19 1/2: College - Did Economics but wasn't too good at it, got increasingly good at maths but comprehension still falling further behind. Grades still good, but increasingly aware of my differences, spend most of my time in the library. End up socialising with one girl now and then but can't connect with her at all.