Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

People not taking Asperger's seriously?

Page 3 of 3 [ 44 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

18 Feb 2015, 8:04 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
Just don't tell people you have Aspergers. Just fake it and pretend to be social even if you're not.

The thing is that we're seen as normal to untrained people. Most people can't spot out someone with what we have and say, that person is autistic. Although many people with Aspergers do come off as either nerdy, rude, or uninterested.

The truth is, I know a lot of people with Aspergers who are disliked by neurotypicals their own age. This is especially the case when you're in your teenage years. I work with a couple of guys at a restaurant and one of them has Aspergers and I overheard some guys saying that he (the guy with aspergers) is the biggest a hole and dweeb ever, I hope his car runs off the road and he doesn't show up for work. So yah, a lot of aspies do come off as socially inept a-holes. This is why you cant stay stupid s**t and pretend you're not interested. You have to smile and fake it if you have to because if you don't get along with your coworkers or peers, you're going to have a harder time. Just act normal in front of your neurotypical peers that you barely know.


And how exactly does one go about acting normal? I myself happen to fail miserably at it...so point is for some of us that is not much of a possibility. Also people need to learn to be civil...even if someone does not seem 'normal' that is not a reason to treat them like a second class citizen...so yes while its good for people with autism/aspergers to maybe learn about how they come off to people and if there is anything that makes them seem rude that they should try and be aware of....the rest need to meet half way and tolerate people that don't fit their narrow view of how someone 'should' be.


_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

18 Feb 2015, 8:08 pm

goofygoobers wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Just don't tell people you have Aspergers. Just fake it and pretend to be social even if you're not.

The thing is that we're seen as normal to untrained people. Most people can't spot out someone with what we have and say, that person is autistic. Although many people with Aspergers do come off as either nerdy, rude, or uninterested.

The truth is, I know a lot of people with Aspergers who are disliked by neurotypicals their own age. This is especially the case when you're in your teenage years. I work with a couple of guys at a restaurant and one of them has Aspergers and I overheard some guys saying that he (the guy with aspergers) is the biggest a hole and dweeb ever, I hope his car runs off the road and he doesn't show up for work. So yah, a lot of aspies do come off as socially inept a-holes. This is why you cant stay stupid s**t and pretend you're not interested. You have to smile and fake it if you have to because if you don't get along with your coworkers or peers, you're going to have a harder time. Just act normal in front of your neurotypical peers that you barely know.


I feel as if you're dismissing the problems I face every day of my life. Why do you think I don't try to act normal? I'm not trying to use Asperger's as a excuse or anything. I just try to let my friends know so they don't ever make fun of me for my quirks. I've lost friends just because I have trouble with social skills, and no matter how hard I "pretend to be normal," I still get excluded from my peers because of something I can't help. Most people don't even see me as normal. I've always been known as the weird girl wherever I go.


Well friends do tease each other in good humour a lot of times...so it may be too much to expect them never to tease you about quirks...hell my friends family sometimes tease me about some of my quirks but not in a mean way more in a we're all having a laugh including me sense and to make light because its depressing if everythings so serious all the time. But it is reasonable to want some respect and for people not to harshly judge you for the quirks that you can't help. But yeah I think if I pretend to be normal that would make it worse....like if I tried to dress 'normal' people would expect 'normal' so it would make it that much worse when I am not.


_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

18 Feb 2015, 8:17 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Being myself got me bullied as well. But you have to stick to your guns.

I had this discussion with some guy, about 25, who was bullied as a kid. He felt like he was a "broken vase" which couldn't be fixed. What I told him: You're an adult now. You could create a new vase for youself--you have the freedom to do so!

You're 19 now. If people bully you now, just call the cops!


There is a lot of situations where calling the cops would not help...also what is to keep the other person from lying about whatever incident, or worse even twisting it to make it look like you where in the wrong. I guess this isn't an 'adult' example but when I was 15 some other teenage girls trying to be all 'bad' pulled a knife on me...I did end up calling the cops and tried filing a report...mostly cause my friend at the time was freaked out and wanted me to. But then they turned it into something where I would have been charged with harrassment as well, because when they initially insulted me which started the whole thing I said stuff that wasn't very nice back...they didn't care that I wasn't the one that started it. Unfortunately plenty of cops are bullies themselves.... :?


_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.


ominous
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 962
Location: Victoria, Australia

18 Feb 2015, 8:22 pm

This is some kind of phenomenon with invisible disabilities. I experience it both because of my autism and lupus. I have found when I have communication difficulties with allistics and then try to explain them by revealing I'm autistic, I am told it is 'a load of crap' etc. You know, because sometimes I make sense and sound like a relatively well educated woman, any communication difficulties I have because I am autistic are 'a load of crap'.

Same with my lupus. Because people cannot see what is happening in my body, if I am extremely fatigued by lupus and need to do very little physical 'stuff' then I am 'just lazy' despite my diagnosis and all the meds I take, doctors I see, and specialists I need to attend to my problems. Just lazy and full of loads of crap, that's me alrighty.



ominous
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 962
Location: Victoria, Australia

18 Feb 2015, 8:27 pm

darkphantomx1 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't like the smell.

You could be yourself...but there's a limit if it offends somebody.



well gosh dangit, I never knew that. I better burn the brony shirt then and ditch the farting life. I'm going to try my luck at twerking. Thats what all the guys do nowadays.


Did you know that repeatedly being facetious and sarcastic to people who are obviously not getting it is a form of bullying and abuse? I believe plenty of autistics are capable of following social rules like 'don't fart in class' and that has nothing to do with whether or not we 'act like ourselves' in public. Perhaps you are taking things too literally and then responding with snide snarkisms because you think it's funny, but it's neither funny nor supportive or understanding.

Why bother responding at all? Why not say what you mean and try to understand what people are talking about? The OP is not talking about 'social rules' like how we need to behave in public. They are talking about how difficult it is to be taken seriously with an 'invisible' disability. Your mocking is rude and uncalled for.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Feb 2015, 8:29 pm

I thought you thought I was being "facetious."

Then I realize that you probably weren't.

I was telling the truth of what I thought.

I think the other guy's autistic--but I think he's a buffoon, too.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 Feb 2015, 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ominous
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 962
Location: Victoria, Australia

18 Feb 2015, 8:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Where'd you get the idea I was being facetious?

I was telling the truth of what I thought.


Not you, darkphantomx1. You're always supportive and try to be understanding and kind, kraftie. Sorry, I should have addressed the person I was responding to in a clearer way.



olympiadis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,849
Location: Fairview Heights Illinois

18 Feb 2015, 9:55 pm

Well, I am also full of crap. But, I wish people would take it a lot more seriously.
People seem to find it much easier to understand and accept differences in celebrities or sports teams than with the real people they interact with.

I think our society rewards a disconnectedness from reality.
It seems the more disconnected something is, the easier it is for people to take it seriously.
We're always being told to not take reality or real life so seriously.
...stuff like that.



goofygoobers
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 664
Location: America

18 Feb 2015, 10:34 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
goofygoobers wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Just don't tell people you have Aspergers. Just fake it and pretend to be social even if you're not.

The thing is that we're seen as normal to untrained people. Most people can't spot out someone with what we have and say, that person is autistic. Although many people with Aspergers do come off as either nerdy, rude, or uninterested.

The truth is, I know a lot of people with Aspergers who are disliked by neurotypicals their own age. This is especially the case when you're in your teenage years. I work with a couple of guys at a restaurant and one of them has Aspergers and I overheard some guys saying that he (the guy with aspergers) is the biggest a hole and dweeb ever, I hope his car runs off the road and he doesn't show up for work. So yah, a lot of aspies do come off as socially inept a-holes. This is why you cant stay stupid s**t and pretend you're not interested. You have to smile and fake it if you have to because if you don't get along with your coworkers or peers, you're going to have a harder time. Just act normal in front of your neurotypical peers that you barely know.


I feel as if you're dismissing the problems I face every day of my life. Why do you think I don't try to act normal? I'm not trying to use Asperger's as a excuse or anything. I just try to let my friends know so they don't ever make fun of me for my quirks. I've lost friends just because I have trouble with social skills, and no matter how hard I "pretend to be normal," I still get excluded from my peers because of something I can't help. Most people don't even see me as normal. I've always been known as the weird girl wherever I go.


Well friends do tease each other in good humour a lot of times...so it may be too much to expect them never to tease you about quirks...hell my friends family sometimes tease me about some of my quirks but not in a mean way more in a we're all having a laugh including me sense and to make light because its depressing if everythings so serious all the time. But it is reasonable to want some respect and for people not to harshly judge you for the quirks that you can't help. But yeah I think if I pretend to be normal that would make it worse....like if I tried to dress 'normal' people would expect 'normal' so it would make it that much worse when I am not.


I mean as in bullying, not friendly teasing.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Feb 2015, 10:36 pm

Do you still get bullied?



darkphantomx1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Feb 2015
Age: 31
Posts: 1,293

18 Feb 2015, 11:18 pm

im just a sarcastic person in general. I like to make jokes. I can be kind and helpful, its just masked by my off beat sense of humor. People who can't take jokes and are serious people will not get a long with me. Thats just a disclaimer. If you cant take a joke, you probably wont like me.



TheCoolStoryBro
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 23 Feb 2015
Posts: 257

24 Feb 2015, 7:14 pm

I think I make faux pas, I apologize and say hey, I have Autism, they say, no, you didn't make faux pas, you're cool. I tell them all about my Autism as a precaution, and everything is cool. A little while later, I make faux pas, and they don't want to talk with me anymore. I ask myself... what did I say wrong? I ask them... what did I say wrong? No one ****ing cares that I have Autism. It's like, oh, you seem normal, in fact you seem smarter than most people.

It's like I'm blind, and my eyes are open and look normal, and people assume I can see, even when I tell them I am blind. It's like they don't believe it. I can't see, and no one cares. This is a metaphor, I am not blind. I feel like I have to explain everything thoroughly, and it makes no difference. It's either too much information, or not enough information. That's why my name is TheCoolStoryBro, I tell people stuff, and they are like, TL;DR. People tell me I should write a book. At least one person said I could be rich and famous for said book... but... seriously. What?