How do people misinterpret your quirks?

Post Reply New Topic

A lot of people don't seem to notice me since I'm so shy, quiet, and keep to myself, but if I do get noticed for some reason I often act shocked that I'm suddenly not invisible anymore and I'm never really sure how to react when that happens. Also, I tend to think a lot before answering a question, so occasionally the person I'm talking to think that I've lost focus or I'm not paying attention, but when they interrupt my thought process I actually will lose focus. Does that happen to anyone else here?

Even though some of the people that do those things probably mean well it gets frustrating sometimes. It feels like I'm not being treated as an equal and I don't want people to feel like they need to feel sorry for me. It also makes me feel alienated too sometimes because it feels like it's harder to find people who I can relate to because it seems like when I try to have a regular conversation with someone they seem to feel like they have to reassure me instead of reciprocating.

I also feel too tired and inept to socialize very much on most days. It makes people seem to think that I'm weaker because I'm so quiet and that's the only thing about me that they take into account when it comes to that. I don't think I'm exactly a strong person, but I'm not as weak as most people seem to interpret me as either. It seems like some people feel like they have to point that out about me too and then it seems like that causes other people to either feel sorry for me or be disrespectful towards me, even when I make an effort to be more friendly.

How do you do that? What's the trick? I would love to be invisible. Whenever I feel shy or nervous, I get in overactive mode and do something stupid.

Yeah, I get that. Sometimes even my university professors don't notice me, and register me as absent from class, when I'm actually sitting in the first row.

This also happens vice versa. People tend to tell me off for not having said hi to them when I passed by them on the street or in the university corridor. I can't help it. I'm so absorbed in my thoughts that I don't even notice them, even if they say hi and wave their hands for me. Sometimes I don't notice them on purpose, because I have a little social anxiety, and all I can think about after a long day at school is going home.



Well, I tend to think while I'm answering. This can make my speech pattern rather awkward and scattered, especially when I'm talking about philosophical issues, or giving opinion about something. People tend to ask me to repeat what I said, because they don't understand. There is also a politeness issue, because I can't look people in the eye while I'm speaking to them, because it would distract me from my thoughts and make me unable to say what I want to say. I don't have this problem when they are speaking to me, though.

Another thing is that I think quite a lot before asking a question, which makes it hard for me to have a conversation with multiple people. By the time I manage to word my thoughts, people have already moved on to a different topic.

I also think a lot before doing official business, like getting paperwork done at university, or asking a salesperson about a certain product. I'm very bad with official things, so I have to think about what I want to say word by word before entering the office or store.

Top five questions I get bombarded with,

1. Why do you bite your nails?
2. (when not biting my nails): Is that a pacifier in your mouth?
3. Why do you wear girls' shoes?
4. Why do you still wear a mullet?
5. Why do you eat pizza with a fork?

My smart-@$$ed replies,

1. It's cheaper than cigarettes
2. It's just that latest high-tech "smokeless pleasure" device
3. They're only "girls' shoes" if a girl is wearing them
4. Because I'm too macho for a buzz cut
5. If you were missing all your molars, you would know why.

Last edited by Rockymtnchris on 24 Sep 2015, 4:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

as ret*d

I don't seem to get the balance right between being friendly and flirty there are a lot more men around that think I fancy them when I don't and visa versa those I do like don't have a clue, but then I don't see if someone is interested unless they hit me round the head with something - OK last time he went for the tongue down throat approach and THEN I got it

Seen as aggressive (once described as a rotweiller) because I also don't arse lick and can't hide my dislike of those that do - I am not good at being two faced. I can work with people I don't like but have to keep all contact to work related.

Seen as miserable even when I am not - wooden face

When I was in my teens I didn't see/understand that I focused all my conversation on me and got the micky taken out of me - I get that now and compensate. But I wasn't self absorbed far from it just sort of self contained.

Seen as rude by some because I never think to ask how someone is when greeting them if they are not someone I actually find interesting on some level.

99% of the time my intentions are good but often I come across as rude, harsh, arrogant and uninterested.

On the other hand, when I try to act nice, with smiles and eyecontact, I sometimes attract unwanted attention.

It seems to be a common story for males to think if a girl is nice to him and/or talking to him, it means she is flirting with him.

To those who have poor empathy, poor emotional awareness, poor social awareness, or low tolerance, I can come across as a threat. Whether in the AS or not, some people can be sensitive to any person that is slightly different.

People who have developed good emotional awareness, and tolerance, treat me like an equal. But these days, I've gotten quite good at composure and learning how to act in social situations.

Also, I kind of get annoyed if I pass someone I know (and/or make eye contact) and they don't say hi or anything. I try not to take it personally.

People think I take drugs.

Interesting post!

I get a multitude of comments, i wear sunnies most of the time i am out.. Cant remember a day i didnt feel tired, so when sunnies come off once in a while people often asked if im stoned! My eyes are generally always glazy...

Just a smile and a ""No"", generally clears the air momentarily! haha

Yes, can definitely relate, then often become tongue tied, or if i am really feeling uncomfortable i tend to talk to them very quietly just so no-else can hear... I think that's the confidence connection with the fear that lowers my decibel level. But then sometimes i can be quite load and outspoken, but again i think its when a topic of interest comes up.. and without realizing it can often take over the conversation to try to get my words out as my mind is racing so far ahead i am trying to keep up and not forget... That''s when i get the blank , astonished look or they turn away and start a conversation with the person next to them!

I had that in high school.