mild autism vs very mild autism

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is there such a thing as very very very very mild autism? would anyone be able to see it?

fyi, to me, "ASD" is:

1. Autism Spectrum Differences

2. Autism Spectrum Diversity

3. the first 3 letters to the right of the Caps-Lock key

some people are just more advantaged than others. i can only wish.

Isabella, I just wrote you a thorough explanation of the waiver program and the F****** captcha deleted it. Alex, I am sick and tired of captcha destroying my posts on this site. Please deal with it.

This site is literally not allowing me to post anymore. Hopefully this post goes through. I am going to bed. I am too frustrated. The site is making me have meltdowns.

Apparently my mom's new found understanding was very short lived. She basically told me this morning that I am full of s**t and that there is nothing wrong with me and there never was and that she never saw anything unusual about me when I was a kid and that all the problems I had were basically me having normal kid problems and just choosing to make other people's lives miserable because that was my choice. She also said that the sensitivities I have now with sounds, I didn't have back then. She would not accept the onset of Mishophonia at the age of ten and she did not accept that people blasting bass and rap on stereos 24/7 did not happen back then. She also said that I don't deserve to have tax payers pay for services for me like sound reducing windows for my house just because I "don't want to work and just want things to make me more comfortable like not hearing sounds that "I don't like" that I should work for services and needs that I want and pay for them myself." She also said that none of my Autistic traits and issues have anything to do with being Autistic and that I only struggle because I think about my issues too much and that I should find a doctor to cure me of my delusions that my struggles are due to Autism. She also completely judged my Autistic friend who was on the phone with us during the conference call yesterday. She has spoken with him for exactly twenty minutes and asked him one question about himself. She asked him if he has the same issues and sensitivities that I have. He said yes even though the things he is sensitive to are a little different. That is all she knows about him except that he has a background in psychology. But from that single conference call, she assessed that he was completely normal and that he had no issues in his entire life and that there was nothing wrong with him and that he had no struggles outside of normal every day neurotypical struggles and that he never had any issues his entire life. So therefore, none of my issues are actually real and she said I should find a doctor to actually cure me of my delusions in thinking that I have so many struggles because of Autism. She also said that the doctors and therapists that I have are just feeding my delusions and that I should find other doctors who will set me straight so that I can work full time and pay for services and things that I want because obviously I can because I can do things like skiing.

She also denied all of the times that I have been in the hospital because my dad has cancer and obviously I am not in the hospital once a week like he is so therefore, the times I have to go to the ER with sensory overload shock are not real. So according to her thinking, me collapsing in a parking lot and laying immobile in a pool of my own vomit and getting a concussion and missing the whole second half of ski season from the bass on somebody's stereo were because I just don't like certain kinds of kinds of sounds and I choose not to ignore them and my lack of brain function to tune things out or ignore things is not real and I need to find a doctor to tell me that.

She actually asked which doctor told me that I can't tune sensory and emotional input out or ignore them and told me that I need to psychiatric help because obviously I have been convinced that I can't do those things and I chose not to do them.

^

Huge hugs, skibum! I don't even know what to say about that load of malarkey. You didn't deserve that and I hope you know she was wrong.

In my case I got all my information about my childhood from my older brother. I've barely ever spoken to my mother about my childhood. I'm selective mute and don't speak to her at the best of times, let alone for sensitive topics. My mother doesn't even know I had an ASD assessment or diagnosis. She wouldn't want to admit I'm autistic because it might reflect badly on her to the neighbours and other busy body people in her life. She'd rather call me "weird" and "useless" -- implying I'm a freak of nature and that I act as I do by choice -- than admit I am autistic and that it could be genetic. This acknowledgment might look badly on her by suggesting her own genes were autistic, or that she married an autistic man (my dad) without realising the error of her ways.

I hope you have a friend or counsellor who can help you through the fallout of your mother's negative attitude. You are not alone. Many of us were raised in this dismissive and critical way by parents who didn't deserve such wonderful kids.

(( Hugs ))

Isabella, thank you so much. Even just knowing that you and I are like sisters because we are so similar is so helpful. I had responded your earlier post about you thanking me for posting what I did last night and said that I was so grateful to you for always making me feel like I was not alone. But I lost the battle with captcha and the website and my posts could not go through.

I will share this conversation with all of my counselors and therapists. I have already shared it with some of my friends. It is amazing how destructive a self centered insecure parent can be. I am sending you huge hugs back. It is so good to have friends like you.

Another thing that my mom said, and all this was in one phone call this morning, was about my misophonia. She doesn't believe that that is real either. I developed misophonia at age ten which is very typical for misophonia. That same year my three year old sister developed a severe cough from what they thought was some kind of allergy from the place that we lived in. At the time, I was never told that my sister's cough was an allergy. I did not find that out until a few years ago. My parents always blamed me for torturing my sister with my misophonic reactions to her incessant coughing and throat clearing. They always told me that I was reacting that way by choice to specifically upset her. In the conversation that I had with my mom this morning, I reminded her about the misophonia starting at ten because she insisted that all of my sound sensitivities started at seventeen and are psychological because I baby gecko had crawled down my ear and banged on my eardrum at the age of 17 when I was sleeping. So I reminded her that my sound sensitivities started ten years prior and that my sensitivity to bass on stereos only started when people started actually playing bass on stereos everywhere with subwoofers. You can't have an Autistic reaction to something that is not actually happening.

When I brought up the misphonia, she insisted that I was having those reactions on purpose and by choice just to torture my sister because at the age of ten I should have known that what my sister was going through as a three year old was not by her deliberate choice just to annoy me even when no one ever explained to me that she had an allergy. So she expected me to have that kind of understanding as an immature ten year old but she could not have that same understanding for me back then as a 40 year old. And apparently her opinion about it has never changed.

Thank you so much Magz. It is so incredibly difficult to deal with the huge influx of emotions that I am dealing with. And I 100% relate to your story as well. I have had the same exact kind of experiences so many times that I can't even count them. They were different circumstances of course, but the exact same scenario. And not only was I treated with such incredible unfairness and hypocrisy, I was also made to take care of the people that were hurting me when people hurt me. One of my relatives sexually molested me and I was not only responded to with denial by my mother and the rest of my family but also told how dare I talk about him that way because he has a mental illness. And I was told that I needed to care for him.