Can Autistics be greedy or selfish?

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I guess my overaching point is that judgments about what is selfish or not made about anyone else's behaviour (and perhaps our own judgments of others and our own behaviour) are highly subjective.

Let me give an example of a behaviour pattern I have observed in some men (not many) who have strung along a partner for years that they are serious about the relationship when in fact, they are simply marking time until a "better bet turns up. I judge that as selfish (and highly manipulative) behaviour, which is a value judgment of mine to the situation. I have known some of those women to invest years of caring and waiting in good faith. I also happen to believe that everyone is judgmental, though to what degree is highly variable.

We have law in NZ which forces public institutions (not private companies or private property) to make accommodations for disabled access (ramps and so on). Are the workplaces that neglect to do this (and who could afford to) selfish?

It is not uncommon still (though not as common as it once was) to accuse people who choose not to have children/not be parents of being "selfish". This judgment is almost invariably made by people who do have children, implying that they are morally and ethically superior to those who elect to be childless. In an over crowded planet with diminishing resources, I don't see that childless choice as selfish (I am a parent myself, though the world was a less crowded place 40 years ago. I would probably make the same choice now, if I was decades younger than I am). But the people who throw around that insult to the childless are not thinking about population, they are making moral judgments on difference ("how dare someone live by different values from mine") and devaluing other viewpoints. I think it is selfish of them to call the childless by choice selfish, but there you are - that's how I think..

Since we're talking about charity here...

I only donate when I can be fairly sure that the donation goes where it's said to go. Sometimes I ask the people who try to get donations for proof that the money I'd give will reach the people it should, yet they don't always have any. Does that make me selfish? I mean I mostly donate to organizations that fight for a cause that is important for me and that have a good reputation so I don't question them, but when the one collecting money is an organization I don't know about before hand I need to hear some background information... 'cause for all I know it could be a fake and they could be collecting money for their own pockets or for something criminal with a sympathetic cover. Of course, it is possible that the groups that I do trust have some rotten apples among them who take money to their own pockets, but I think the risk is smaller with them.

Does it make me selfish not wanting to take risks and just wait for the trustworthy groups to collect donations? 'Cause personally I think it's just common sense, but many people seem to disagree...

Exercising caution is not selfishness in my book. I'm less sure about people who use that reason as a reason to give nothing to anyone or anything, at any time, because in their case I don't think it's caution they are exercising, but something else. I wouldn't give to any organisation that didn't seem credible or transparent in how they use the money.

You can't measure how "greedy" or "selfish" someone or something is

Everyone "can" be greedy or selfish

An action someone labels is "greedy" someone else will say is not "greedy"

At different times, someone could be selfish. Then the next day selfless

Situational versus dispositional

Sometimes someone changes

But not everyone changes

Not all changes are good

Not all changes are significant

Autistics "can" be selfish and greedy. Just like NTs "can" be selfish or greedy

My precious lil "parents" had the nerve to tell me that "autism means selfish" and that "you don't care about anyone except yourself!"

Dichotomous thinking

They think in a binary:. Selfless or selfish

And I think in a spectrum

In other words, I am not as "selfish" as they acted like I was. They are not as selfless as their wrongful attitude implied

But they were less "selfish" than me. At that moment. It says nothing about any other moment

Someone could do something that appears selfless, but do it for "selfish" reasons

Splitting fine hairs



Twelve years ago, a homophobic precious lil "person" had the nerve to tell me that "you don't care about anyone except yourself!"

It appeared that he cared about a lot of precious lil "people". But everyone he cared about was similar to himself. And they cared about him. Vice versa. Every day he wastes 2500 calories caring about himself. And 500 calories caring about his "in" group . His "in" group wastes 500 calories a day caring about him. Every day I waste 1500 calories caring about myself. And 3 calories caring about someone else. Someone else wastes three calories caring about me.

He was in the majority, in San Diego 2006, in that he was a skinny smart handsome cisgender white man. Religion and politics. He was in the majority. And I was (am) in the minority





When I tried to do more volunteer work (at prisoners literature project), someone had the nerve to wrongfully accuse me of something. Even after I showed the plaintiff, evidence the statement was wrong, she still kept accusing me. And there was no practical method (that I know of) of showing the speaker she was wrong. However even if she was correct, it does not appear justified, for her to have been hollering at me like she wanted to kill me.

In other words, the prisoners literature project response was what I got, when I tried to be less "selfish".

Prisoners literature project was in 2010.






It was not until 2018 that I came to this insight . Epiphany.


Hence

Thus

It appears that, it is easy for the majority to overestimate how "selfish" the minority is

Outnumbered, outsmarted, overpowered

By the E word I meant "empathy".

the word "autism" literally means "self-ism".

So...can folks afflicted with "self-ism" be self-ish?

Well duhhh.... As much as the next person if not more so.

"can" in what sense?

Everyone is physically capable of being "selfish".

"Can" like permission?

I don't think not knowing what to say in a bad situation is selfish. Some people's reaction is speechless, and all you can say is "oh my God".

I think Aspies overestimate the word "selfish".

I wish more people in my family would donate our old things to charity (things we don't want any more but are still in good condition). I am getting tired of seeing how much good stuff is about to go to waste in my house. When I see really good stuff waiting by the bin, I pack it up into a bag and take it straight to the nearest charity shop. Most people I know 'can't be bothered' to take their old stuff to charity, and would rather just throw it out. What a waste!