Alone time

Post Reply New Topic

I need a high amount of alone after any social event, be it hanging out with people or dealing with work. The first thing I typically do after a work day is walk into my room and just nap for an hour due to the sensory of being around people and having to help customers. My days off are mostly spent alone away from people and it is absolute bliss. Being able to sink my teeth into my hobbies is pretty much how I want to spend my days so when the opportunity comes up, it gives me the recharge needed.

I'm in my room a lot, which I feel sort of bad about. I worry that my family will think I don't want to spend time with them, but it has nothing to do with them, and they've said they know I love them. I've been trying to spend more time in the lounge room with them, but even then, I still need my breaks.

When my niece and nephew are here, it can be very noisy. When my sisters are here as well, the noise/too many lights being on at once can make me very tired and my eyes start getting watery. I have to leave, and it really does feel like it's to "recharge." They know this, so they don't expect me to stay long.

Whenever I go somewhere, I usually need a nap afterwards.

Some really great answers here. And such varied ideas and experiences. I've just come out of a relationship with an NT and it worked well at first. We both found out new things about each other and tried to accommodate these behaviours. It was through this relationship I decided to get tested for Asperger's. I went to mindfulness meditation, CBT, and Psychoanalysis all to try and change myself for our relationship. Turns out I couldn't, what a shocker. She couldn't understand my need for space and got upset when I didn't compliment the effort she made on her appearance. When she was upset with me I couldn't handle the barrages of text messages or long phonecalls that never resulted in a solution. It was so draining. But after a week or two of splitting up and the relief had washed over me, I missed her. Hah. What a cruel affliction

I LOVED having alone time as a kid & teen because skewl & my parents on my back about things really stressed me out. I was happy watching TV, playing vid games & listening to music. However I got in my 1st realtionship at 20 & had a high desire to spend time with her(it was long distance) I spent as much time talking to her as I could. I still wanted to be left alone by my parents thou. After the realtionship ended I had a high desire for another romantic realtionship cuz I hated being alone by myself offline but I wanted to be left alone by everyone who wasn't a girlfriend. I didn't mind dealing with people too much when I was working but I didn't really want to deal with anyone outside work thou I didn't mind it occasionally. Anyways... I've been living with my current girlfriend for 6 years now & I still love spending quite a lot of time with her. I don't mind her spending the weekend with her family instead of me. I kind of like being by myself then but I spend most of my time with her when she's home & we're both awake(we sometimes have different sleep schedules/cycles). We spend a lot of time mostly with ourselves but I don't mind seeing others if a member of her family comes visits or when we or me go out somewhere but I don't really have a desire to spend time with anyone except my girlfriend.

Dont mention it. The whole world will try to make you feel like there's something wrong with you for enjoying your own company. They'll even call it anti social. But that's not anti social. In my experience anti social people love to be around others. That's where they can do the most damage. I've loved the biopic novel Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa since around the year 2000 and I've probably read it 3 or 4 times cover to cover now. And it made me think I'd be perfectly fine living an ascetic life on a mountain top alone pursuing enlightenment. But I have found one problem with isolation. If I use it for something passive like watching tv or even daydreaming I'm golden. But if its something a bit more interactive like gaming or reading a book I can get a but irritable and overestimulated after a couple of hours. But if it's something that requires lots of brain power (like my poor excuse for philosophising or thinking and planning too much about the future) I'll get quite manic and anxious to the point of a panic attack or close to it. Over the years I've learned to decompress from this state by forcing myself to go out and socialise, even if it's the last thing I want to do.
This afternoon I spent hours scribbling on page after page about what I thought about the possible existence of God and pondering what might pass as logical proof of his existence following the discovery of the cosmological constant. When my girlfriend said her friend invited us to dinner I really wasn't in the mood. But I could tell I was getting jittery and overstimulated. Now I'm glad we went but I have to maintain a delicate balance. Most of the time I absolutely love being alone in peace and quiet. But luckily I've learned to notice the warning signs of when there's too much of a good thing.

I do spend much time alone, especially at this point in my life. Retired, and only a few social activities each week. I certainly don't need to be around people all the time, but it's nice to have one person around the house, even if we don't always get along.

What I don't want is to be around people who don't know me well and expect me to chatter like everyone else, and wonder what's the matter if I don't talk much. Especially in large groups -- totally feel like an outsider.

But in places where people know me well, they get used to how I act, and I'm comfortable enough with them to be a bit more outgoing. It's all good. Sometimes if the right subject comes up, you can hardly stop me from talking. Been accused of running into the weeds conversationally (am I doing that now?), though that's probably more in writing than speaking. But mostly I just listen.

In the last 15 years of my work (software development), each year, I progressively worked more and more remotely from home. Still communicated by phone and email, but nobody else physically present. The last few years, the project was transferred to a company 1000 miles away, so it was working 100% at home. That was mostly fine with me. I have to say, though, I felt very out of touch with respect to knowing what was going on, and doing collaborative design work (which I enjoy) over the phone is much more difficult. So if I were to work again, I think I would prefer a situation that is local, where I could meet with the coworkers at least once or twice a week, and keep in sync with what's going on. But the rest of the time I would be very happy working by myself. Even when I worked in the office with others, I'd often keep working late after everyone else had left, and it was the most productive time as long as I didn't need something from someone else.

I have a social group where I see a few good friends once or twice a week. That, plus my partner, is enough social time for me.

90% sounds about right for me.

The requirement for alone time used to affect my work work and study. It was hard for me to stay in school or at work for a long time due to other people being there.

Now it affects my relationships. It turns out girls don't like it when their boyfriend doesn't spend very much time with them.

I don't need much alone time as long as the social setting is calm. I get tired very easily in a crowd.

I want to be alone when Im with people and when im alone i want to be with people.

I spend almost all of the day alone

Unless someone approaches

Or cashier

While I crave social interaction

Almost everyone I have ever interacted with was a lil dips**t




Better nobody, than those ass holes

They put on the facade that they "care" about you

But they just care about themselves and idiots just similar to themselves

off leash dogs

talking and laughing too much and too loudly

judgmental attitude

impatient driver

saying "what" instead of "excuse me"

phone addiction

acting like they are perfect

telling you, your reaction. Instead of telling you, what they did wrong

"holier than thou" attitude

peer pressure

Refusal to compromise


Judgmental attitude about your IQ, appearance, personality

"none of your business" question

wrongfully accused

Manipulation

They do illegal things

they say "sorry" so much. Means nothing. Sympathy and apology

















Expectations violated


Written contract

Left to my own devices, without obligations that require social contact for survival, 90% doesn't sound unreasonable.

I was an only child, which was fortunate. What I craved most was having the place alone, and indeed what I remember to be my happiest times where those special moments where I was truly alone. I remember a certain sense of dread when I would hear the sounds of someone returning to disturb my peace.

I seriously can't relax with other people in the same abode, not in a true way. There's always tension there.

I need alone time every single day, couple of hours at least ideally. Except my cat, he doesn’t count.

I work in an open plan office so I have to deal with other people most of the day. Need to recharge my batteries after peopling.

I need a fair amount of alone time and quiet time, especially after social interactions that I find stressful or overwhelming. Some people are more tiring to be around than others, I’ve noticed.

I need a lot of alone time.