05 Jan 2019, 12:10 pm
05 Jan 2019, 12:12 pm
05 Jan 2019, 12:13 pm
05 Jan 2019, 12:21 pm
and people turn up the bass everyone SO LOUD! The bass beat gives the rythm for dancing. Just for swinging your body towards the emotions that come with the music. That's why NTs like it. (Btw: I don't like rap too.) The question is how the bass is to you. The problem could be that the rhytm is very near to common rhytms of the heart beat. If you let influence it your heart beat it becomes dangerous.
In this case you would have to learn to step or swing towards the beat but never let it influence your heart beat.
I think this is possible. You need to hear very short sequences of about 5 seconds of such music. Afterwards you have to repeat the rhytm mentally only and should try to move and dance towards this rhytm without letting it influence your heart. You have to repeat this until you get used to be that way that it is always a movement rhytm and not a heart rhytm. But you need to check your pulse that it doesn't starts to match the beat.
05 Jan 2019, 12:54 pm
@skibum
You did your part well, but you found his response to be unfavorable.
And thats okay.
Introduction:
I think it has to do with his "image of self". I'll try to explain -
Main assumption: Everything we do is 'communication'.
But NT and Non-NTs just don't speak the same language. That's where things get fun 
We as social beings are adaptable and as such are open to have feedback communicated to us about our actions (communication being verbal or nonverbal, direct or covert, implicit or explicit).
~ Each of these forms of communication has Pros and Cons (at least for the person using it), that is why it remains in existence.
Message body:
The person probably thought "this person is leaving" EQUALS "I am doing a bad job and I should change my ways", i.e. he thought that your actions Communicated something about him.
As such, he felt it was necessary for him to defend his position by communicating back to you that his way of doing things are good enough (i.e. arguing that for their purposes it's not in need for change; not a deviation from the average).
Conclusion:
A leaves.
B thinks: A leaves EQUALS A tells B (in front of everybody): "You're doing a bad job and should change your ways."
B thinks: "I am not doing a bad job, and I refuse to change. I base this conviction on established ways of doing things. (I have support of the group), and I choose to communicate that to A."
B tells A: (reprimanding tone) "It's hockey season and that's going to happen all the time."
Maybe I'm wrong... lol, it's just my guess how things go 
I'm also not saying that this thought processes are explicit in their mind... it's just how I think that people's logic goes sometimes. Of course there are many other thought processes that can be considered...
Best wishes!
My suggestion: Keep your responses simple. Such as "I have autism", and they'll rest assured in their ways...
Unless your intention really *is* to change their ways. In such case, I suggest approaching it systematically, otherwise it can be a very emotional and less effective process, leading to alot of stress.
You are good enough! =) Please know this always.
But they also are good enough, it's just, they are ignorant of your condition, and the world is in big need of being more sensible, sensitive,... I hope you can find ways to communicate with those who work from an incomplete mind frame that doesn't include autism in their mind... to maybe try gently inform people about this condition... to turn anger into understanding and love .
05 Jan 2019, 6:59 pm
05 Jan 2019, 10:03 pm
06 Jan 2019, 3:56 pm
06 Jan 2019, 4:00 pm
You did your part well, but you found his response to be unfavorable.
And thats okay.
Introduction:
I think it has to do with his "image of self". I'll try to explain -
Main assumption: Everything we do is 'communication'.
But NT and Non-NTs just don't speak the same language. That's where things get fun
We as social beings are adaptable and as such are open to have feedback communicated to us about our actions (communication being verbal or nonverbal, direct or covert, implicit or explicit).
~ Each of these forms of communication has Pros and Cons (at least for the person using it), that is why it remains in existence.
Message body:
The person probably thought "this person is leaving" EQUALS "I am doing a bad job and I should change my ways", i.e. he thought that your actions Communicated something about him.
As such, he felt it was necessary for him to defend his position by communicating back to you that his way of doing things are good enough (i.e. arguing that for their purposes it's not in need for change; not a deviation from the average).
Conclusion:
A leaves.
B thinks: A leaves EQUALS A tells B (in front of everybody): "You're doing a bad job and should change your ways."
B thinks: "I am not doing a bad job, and I refuse to change. I base this conviction on established ways of doing things. (I have support of the group), and I choose to communicate that to A."
B tells A: (reprimanding tone) "It's hockey season and that's going to happen all the time."
Maybe I'm wrong... lol, it's just my guess how things go
I'm also not saying that this thought processes are explicit in their mind... it's just how I think that people's logic goes sometimes. Of course there are many other thought processes that can be considered...Best wishes!
My suggestion: Keep your responses simple. Such as "I have autism", and they'll rest assured in their ways...
Unless your intention really *is* to change their ways. In such case, I suggest approaching it systematically, otherwise it can be a very emotional and less effective process, leading to alot of stress.
You are good enough! =) Please know this always.
But they also are good enough, it's just, they are ignorant of your condition, and the world is in big need of being more sensible, sensitive,... I hope you can find ways to communicate with those who work from an incomplete mind frame that doesn't include autism in their mind... to maybe try gently inform people about this condition... to turn anger into understanding and love .
Is this really how people think? If so, their conclusions have zero basis in logic, and how on earth are we supposed to guess/know this? It almost seems like it is true though as it would explain their rational. I just have no hope of ever being able to guess or know this rational when it is happening in practice
06 Jan 2019, 5:08 pm
First of all it's disgusting that those of us who are in physical pain because of sensory things do have to understand. It should be on other people to understand and avoidance of physical pain should come first (or second only to the very dramatic, life threatening things you've mentioned here for which you've got my sympathy).
However, we live in a world of majority rules
Contrary to what others have suggested, I'd say 'I have autism and it affects me like...' and explain. Say 'I know this is unusual and nobody set out to hurt me'. Write it in an email and edit it afterwards so that it says what happens to you explicitly but so that you also don't exaggerate. Use concrete examples from the past which are nothing to do with the thing in question so they know it's not just them. In fact, say 'it's me not you'.
When I tell people I'm autistic, they don't understand enough to change. When I tell people 'I'm autistic and if I'm around bright lights I can't function for days and get a bad headache and pain in my eyes', they tend (only tend ) to listen.
Autism affects people differently and I would have just been a bit annoyed by that music if acknowledging it at all, so saying what the consequences are for you as an individual and explaining it's caused by autism is a bit more memorable/understandable than just saying 'I'm autistic' and expecting them to know what it's like for you.
Not sure if this is feasible and if your particular autism would be OK with the change, but maybe an alternative venue or time could then be suggested.
And yes, most people are highly egocentric and think everything relates back to them, especially if they're the leader.
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
07 Jan 2019, 1:48 am
07 Jan 2019, 11:50 am
07 Jan 2019, 11:51 am
07 Jan 2019, 11:57 am
You did your part well, but you found his response to be unfavorable.
And thats okay.
Introduction:
I think it has to do with his "image of self". I'll try to explain -
Main assumption: Everything we do is 'communication'.
But NT and Non-NTs just don't speak the same language. That's where things get fun
We as social beings are adaptable and as such are open to have feedback communicated to us about our actions (communication being verbal or nonverbal, direct or covert, implicit or explicit).
~ Each of these forms of communication has Pros and Cons (at least for the person using it), that is why it remains in existence.
Message body:
The person probably thought "this person is leaving" EQUALS "I am doing a bad job and I should change my ways", i.e. he thought that your actions Communicated something about him.
As such, he felt it was necessary for him to defend his position by communicating back to you that his way of doing things are good enough (i.e. arguing that for their purposes it's not in need for change; not a deviation from the average).
Conclusion:
A leaves.
B thinks: A leaves EQUALS A tells B (in front of everybody): "You're doing a bad job and should change your ways."
B thinks: "I am not doing a bad job, and I refuse to change. I base this conviction on established ways of doing things. (I have support of the group), and I choose to communicate that to A."
B tells A: (reprimanding tone) "It's hockey season and that's going to happen all the time."
Maybe I'm wrong... lol, it's just my guess how things go
I'm also not saying that this thought processes are explicit in their mind... it's just how I think that people's logic goes sometimes. Of course there are many other thought processes that can be considered...Best wishes!
My suggestion: Keep your responses simple. Such as "I have autism", and they'll rest assured in their ways...
Unless your intention really *is* to change their ways. In such case, I suggest approaching it systematically, otherwise it can be a very emotional and less effective process, leading to alot of stress.
You are good enough! =) Please know this always.
But they also are good enough, it's just, they are ignorant of your condition, and the world is in big need of being more sensible, sensitive,... I hope you can find ways to communicate with those who work from an incomplete mind frame that doesn't include autism in their mind... to maybe try gently inform people about this condition... to turn anger into understanding and love .
Is this really how people think? If so, their conclusions have zero basis in logic, and how on earth are we supposed to guess/know this? It almost seems like it is true though as it would explain their rational. I just have no hope of ever being able to guess or know this rational when it is happening in practice
07 Jan 2019, 12:00 pm
However, we live in a world of majority rules
Contrary to what others have suggested, I'd say 'I have autism and it affects me like...' and explain. Say 'I know this is unusual and nobody set out to hurt me'. Write it in an email and edit it afterwards so that it says what happens to you explicitly but so that you also don't exaggerate. Use concrete examples from the past which are nothing to do with the thing in question so they know it's not just them. In fact, say 'it's me not you'.
When I tell people I'm autistic, they don't understand enough to change. When I tell people 'I'm autistic and if I'm around bright lights I can't function for days and get a bad headache and pain in my eyes', they tend (only tend
) to listen.Autism affects people differently and I would have just been a bit annoyed by that music if acknowledging it at all, so saying what the consequences are for you as an individual and explaining it's caused by autism is a bit more memorable/understandable than just saying 'I'm autistic' and expecting them to know what it's like for you.
Not sure if this is feasible and if your particular autism would be OK with the change, but maybe an alternative venue or time could then be suggested.
And yes, most people are highly egocentric and think everything relates back to them, especially if they're the leader.
07 Jan 2019, 1:16 pm
You did your part well, but you found his response to be unfavorable.
And thats okay.
Introduction:
I think it has to do with his "image of self". I'll try to explain -
Main assumption: Everything we do is 'communication'.
But NT and Non-NTs just don't speak the same language. That's where things get fun
We as social beings are adaptable and as such are open to have feedback communicated to us about our actions (communication being verbal or nonverbal, direct or covert, implicit or explicit).
~ Each of these forms of communication has Pros and Cons (at least for the person using it), that is why it remains in existence.
Message body:
The person probably thought "this person is leaving" EQUALS "I am doing a bad job and I should change my ways", i.e. he thought that your actions Communicated something about him.
As such, he felt it was necessary for him to defend his position by communicating back to you that his way of doing things are good enough (i.e. arguing that for their purposes it's not in need for change; not a deviation from the average).
Conclusion:
A leaves.
B thinks: A leaves EQUALS A tells B (in front of everybody): "You're doing a bad job and should change your ways."
B thinks: "I am not doing a bad job, and I refuse to change. I base this conviction on established ways of doing things. (I have support of the group), and I choose to communicate that to A."
B tells A: (reprimanding tone) "It's hockey season and that's going to happen all the time."
Maybe I'm wrong... lol, it's just my guess how things go
I'm also not saying that this thought processes are explicit in their mind... it's just how I think that people's logic goes sometimes. Of course there are many other thought processes that can be considered...Best wishes!
My suggestion: Keep your responses simple. Such as "I have autism", and they'll rest assured in their ways...
Unless your intention really *is* to change their ways. In such case, I suggest approaching it systematically, otherwise it can be a very emotional and less effective process, leading to alot of stress.
You are good enough! =) Please know this always.
But they also are good enough, it's just, they are ignorant of your condition, and the world is in big need of being more sensible, sensitive,... I hope you can find ways to communicate with those who work from an incomplete mind frame that doesn't include autism in their mind... to maybe try gently inform people about this condition... to turn anger into understanding and love .
Is this really how people think? If so, their conclusions have zero basis in logic, and how on earth are we supposed to guess/know this? It almost seems like it is true though as it would explain their rational. I just have no hope of ever being able to guess or know this rational when it is happening in practice
This actually makes a lot of sense (as an explanation).
