Many women disqualify me in dating solely for being virgin

Post Reply New Topic

No, these are strangers at meetups. Lately I have been ignoring a lot of those people. But it seems like their beliefs have spread to others and now so many believe the same as they do. So it just makes it hard the dating scene here.

I am trying to emigrate as soon as I can. To me at least it seems like really the only plausible solution.

Catch 22

"There's a hole in the bucket dear Liza"

olp;

By definition, 50% of people are outgoing and 50% are not. 50% of people are extroverts and 50% of people are introverts. I don't know what percentage of people have good people skills or not. I don't think anyone ends up with good people skills without a) lots of practice in dealing with others and b) someone to guide them in better ways to deal with people. Usually that means a parent has been working with them over time to say things like "Your classmate in kindergarten might not like you if you call him names and hit him" or whatever stuff involved parents with social skills say to their kids. Or they read self help books (my sister read "How to Make Friends and Influence People") when she was in high school.

As far as people being likeable, that's all a matter of opinion. If a guy is either really tall or really muscular, played football or basketball in high school, is classically good looking, clean-shaven, and works in sales making a ton of money, and doesn't like science fiction or geek culture, my initial impression would probably be that he was dumb, shallow, and full of himself. And probably not someone I would be interested in dating.

Skinny guys with glasses and a beard or goatee that are average, or slightly below average height, are my thing. The last guy I went out on a date with (I'm excluding a fling between now and then), several years ago, did have Aspergers. We spent most of the date talking about his special interest, which wasn't something I was interested in. And I realized he had more of a potbelly than I had thought originally.

I'm pretty sure that a guy I had a crush on for a year over a decade ago had Aspergers. I fell for him when carpooling on a long distance car trip, and didn't realize until afterwards that he never made eye contact when talking to people. And he never caught on the times we were around each other later on that I was interested. But he lived 60 miles away, and was working while going to school so had little free time, and didn't make it to the events for the hobby we had in common very often.

Don't go after women that you think are model gorgeous. A lot of them get used to treating men badly. Go after average looking women who don't wear a lot of makeup, don't wear fancy clothes, are average weight to overweight and/or wear glasses. Talk to them and make friends a bit. And then ask them if they would be interested in dating and trying to be more than friends.

What kind of meetups are you going to? Ones that are mostly/all guys? Go to ones that have more women, say a cooking class or something.

If people ask you, don't tell them you are a virgin. If this is at a meetup, say, "What is this, high school? Grow up." Tell them you have class and you don't kiss and tell. You respect women and you aren't going to slut shame them.

Tell the guys that are bragging about not being virgins that they are so classless and crude that it must be that the only reason they aren't virgins is because they are rapists like Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein and think they should force themselves on every woman they come in contact with. They aren't nice enough people for women to willingly have sex with them.

Tell the guy that his attitude is so outdated, and he's so primitive, that he thinks that raping women or molesting his sister counts as losing his virginity. Cause no modern woman would put up with his sh*t.

Or if you're not into telling guys they should be sensitive and modern, tell him, "Of course I'm not a virgin, I screwed your sister after seeing her phone number on a bathroom wall." If he protests and says he doesn't have a sister, then say "Oh that's why she looked so old, you mean she was your mother?" Most guys, if you hassle them, and take the question off of themselves, they will quit asking you and move on to the next person to hassle.

Practice saying these phrases while looking into the bathroom mirror. Look into your own eyes, or the space between your eyes. Looking at people and staring them down when giving them these comebacks gives them more force.

I had a boyfriend in high school for 2 years who to protect my honor told people he was a virgin when we had been having sex for months or maybe even a year at that point. I thought it was stupid to say so. And was more annoyed when he said he was talking about sex with his buddies and said "This girl I'm screwing likes this particular position". I was more offended that he was implying that he was screwing someone else, than I would have been if he had said we had been having sex in that position.

So you can always say, after saying that you don't kiss and tell, that some high school guys will protect their girlfriend's honor by pretending they are still virgins when they aren't.

Post on dating sites that you are an introvert and want to take the physical aspects of a relationship slowly with women. You believe sex is better with someone who means something to you and the girl doesn't have to worry about whether the guy will call her again once he has sex with her. (A lot of women will find that appealing).

As you are getting to know them and things are going well (not the first date, maybe after 5 dates or so), tell them you haven't dated a lot of women, and so aren't the world's most experienced guy, but the plus side is you are unlikely to have any STDs from recent sex partners. Don't tell them you are a virgin until it gets to the point where you think you have a good shot at having sex with them.

Practice looking women in the eyes most of the time when you are talking to them. Do not send them pictures of your dick on online dating sites. Do not post shirtless photos on your profile unless you spend an hour or more working out a day and have muscles to match.

Oh, there's an interview I saw with a famous rock star in his 50's who is really muscular (despite his age) and performs with his shirt off all the time, and has washboard abs. He has a really hot girlfriend in her 30's who is also a musician. He said that he has no game with women, and that she pursued him. The interviewer was a young woman (20-something) and she said something along the lines of, "So for all the women out there who think you are hot and wish you were single, what is your favorite sexual position?" His answer was "In". Meaning any position that was in a woman was fine, he's not picky.

Lately I tell people who ask about my virginity to piss off. If women do not know, by definition they cannot judge me, although I get the comment that I "act like a virgin". Still, there is no "proof" of this, especially if I do not reveal it explicitly.

I do know that nerdiness and social awkwardness are regularly tied in with virgin males, so I am not sure if that is what they are doing. Since I have big 1960s glasses and wear clothes from the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s despite being age 30, I look like a nerd and rather out of place, but in my own view I do not see "virgin" written all over me.

They won't know you are a virgin but based on that answer a lot of people will correctly assume you using that tactic to hide your virginity.

My first reaction if anyone asked if I were a virgin would be to say "what a weird question!" and nothing more. If I really knew the person I would say with the straightest face that I am still a virgin even though my son is obviously biologically mine.

Back when I was a virgin I would have just told anyone who 'judged me' to either do something about it right now or get bent. I did have one woman flake on me after I talked about my lack of experience compared to her and good riddance to her. I have to give credit to my crazy ex: she told me she liked the fact I waited for someone special and didn't want to me to feel pressured in any way.

If you're looking for casual encounters, then I would think it would be harder to find dates if you're a virgin. Women who are looking for casual encounters have an incentive to want sex partners who have experience and know what they are doing. This is understandable, and if they reject you for being a virgin it's not because of you as a person.

If you are looking for a significant other, and your dates are also looking for a significant other, and dates reject you for being a virgin, then that would seem to mean they care more about the sexual aspect of a relationship and less about the emotional/personal connection with you, and therefore they aren't worth any regret you might feel from being rejected by them.

Disclaimer: I have virtually no experience in dating and/or sex, so take my advice with a grain salt. I'm just using logic is all.

It is very commonplace here to ask people multiple questions not only about their relationship history (how many, with whom, when, how long, etc.), but also their sexual history (how many times, when was your first time, with whom, how many, what kind of sex, etc.). I would not be surprised if asking these questions is now considered part of mainstream casual conversation, not only amongst friends/acquaintances, but also amongst complete strangers.

My case is definitely the second case that you mentioned. I have never went on a date with a woman who just wanted casual stuff, i.e. a quick f*ck. Unless I misread the situation completely and did not notice. But based on what I experienced, all of the dates were based on an emotional/relationship possibility. As for myself, I never was interested in casual stuff.

What seems to happen is that although it is based on relationship/emotional connection, being a virgin is still a turn-off. It is like having a black mark on your resumé for having been sacked for incompetence from a prior job. That is how they consider virginity in guys. So, even though they do not want something casual, the virginity makes them think that I am a guy of "lower status" or an undateable guy just for that.

My virginity seems to be an irredimible quality. In other words, if hypothetically I were a world-reknowned scientist who discovered the cure to cancer and AIDS, or were considered a 9 or 10 in physical looks, or whatever, that the virginity, solely by itself, causes them to feel unattracted to me, nullifying any positive qualities that I may have.