Lack of common sense

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I never read comics except for the ones in the newspaper, and a brief obsession with MAD Magazine. I was hyperlexic and read from a young age, but mostly fiction and biographies. I found it challenging but fascinating to understand characters and human nature by reading. The problem was that I ended up "living in my head", and I couldn't translate those lessons into real life inferences or assessments of other people. I expected an omniscient narrator to tell me what other people were thinking or feeling, like in books. I still have difficulty predicting or anticipating social behaviour from individuals or groups, and I'm amazed when authors are so detailed in their deconstruction of a human psyche.

Do I lack common sense? I don't know. I don't have a good ability to judge myself compared to others, because I don't understand others. In that respect I don't know what the "common" is, in common sense. I've been told I'm naive and too trusting. Post-trauma, I believed everyone was bad, and I overcompensated by not trusting anyone. I'm finally in that happy place where I'm learning to separate the wheat from the chaff, as they say.

I'm very logical about objective parts of life (money, finance, etc)., and I do well in emergencies. I just don't understand people very well, including myself.

Yes, I have read Mutt and Jeff from the 1940s. They are interesting. I found a 1940s one of them in a comic shop yesterday, but passed because it was just too far gone for the price that they wanted. Gasoline Alley back in the day was a good comic strip. My favorite vintage comics are Krazy Kat, but originals are almost impossible to find. They stopped making those when the artist died in 1946.

I never heard of MAD magazine so I had a very quick google.
What type of fiction did you read?
Readers often say interactions between fictional characters are easier, and I once read a reader say real life actual-factual characters communication is more "muddy" they did not mention that they were autistic.
It seems that some fiction readers do have difficulty with theory of mind, predicting or anticipating social behaviour from individuals or groups, and yet it helps others socially, which confuses me.
If you don't know you lack common sense and no one has said you do, I deduce you don't.
Sorry you went through trauma. Its good you are in that happy place where I'm learning to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Up until adolescence I was really into Judy Blume, which in retrospect is more about understanding oneself than understanding the thoughts of others. The characters mostly react to social situations introspectively. The narrator doesn't often tell us what the other characters are thinking, just what they are doing.

When I was older I was into VC Andrews, horror books (Stephen King), and then eventually 19c literature, which gives a lot of detail about people's thought processes. I was amazed that the narrators / authors could understand such a wide range of human emotion, psychology, and behaviour. I loved what I read but still had trouble in real life interactions because there was no text to tell me what the other person thought.

Oh, prior to Judy Blume I liked Curious George, Winnie the Pooh, the poetry of AA Milne, The Velveteen Rabbit, Charlotte's Web, Narnia, and basically any book with animal characters. Maybe that's why I'm so in tune with animals now. I think I understand them better than people.



Yes, real life is much more muddy for me especially in-person. Online interaction is easier for because it involves reading (like reading a book) as opposed to reading a person's body language and nonverbal cues. I'm terrible with nonverbal communication and I don't make eye contact (or face contact) - which makes it harder for me to guess what people are thinking or feeling. In my ASD test I got the lowest score my diagnostician had ever seen, for nonverbal communication and reading a person's intention through their eyes.

When I'm with people in real life it's frustrating because I know the depth of what they could be thinking / feeling because of all the reading I've done. I just can't apply the right emotion to the person, or to the situation, without the person making obvious overtures or telling me in literal terms. I can guess how they feel based on how I would feel, but that's not the same as empathy and it doesn't mean I can read them correctly.




How do you define common sense? Sorry I haven't read the whole thread.

I was identified as Level 2 or Moderate Autism, by the way, if that makes any difference to the information you're gathering.

[quote="IsabellaLinton"][quote="diagnosedafter50"]

Thank you for telling me what type of fiction you read and when you read it and your descriptions.

Real life is much more muddy for me especially in-person too. Online interaction is easier for me also. It's written, I don't do too well in real time messaging or fast moving forum threads though. I need time to think. I failed the eye test online when I did it.

[quote]When I'm with people in real life it's frustrating because I know the depth of what they could be thinking / feeling because of all the reading I've done.[quote]
Does this mean that you can work out their motives and what they might be thinking, planning etc?

I define common sense by the way I was told off for lacking it. Missing important things out, things not occurring to me. Being easily manipulated because I did not spot obvious fishy intentions etc. Missing what is obvious to people.

I never heard of autism measured in levels I was just given an aspergers diagnosis.

No, not at all. I wish!

When I'm with someone it "occurs to me" that they likely have a depth and breadth of thought and emotion that I'll never know, but I certainly can't interpret what it is. It makes me feel somewhat helpless and vulnerable.

Reading great works of fiction has shown me that people can be thinking all sorts of things without me or anyone else realising it. That makes me anxious, because I'm cognisant of how little I really know without having a narrator tell me what's going on in the person's mind.

I'd rather be blissfully unaware of the fact that a person's thoughts and feelings can be misrepresented by their actions.

It was nicer when I thought all smiles were true, and all bad people looked mean.

Literature gave me a shocking wake-up call by showing me examples of deceit, duplicity, and even positive emotions like trustworthiness or appreciation, which I'd never detect in real-life without solid evidence.

Online friendships are much easier because at least I can read and re-read interactions, and look for patterns. I can take my time, as opposed to real-life where I have a very slow processing speed for verbal communication, and my non-verbal (visual) understanding is poor as well.



I think of common sense differently. I think of it like "street-smarts" (putting on a coat when it's cold, looking both ways before crossing the road, not jumping in cars with strangers, not eating rotten food, not running with scissors, etc.) To me common sense isn't really about interpersonal skill or intuitive relationships. It's about making basic decisions for one's survival or best interest. In my opinion a person could have good or bad common sense skills even if they were the only person on planet Earth.

One should read Mutt and Jeff from before 1910.

It shows that people, even then, were quite similar to how people are now.

I’m rather sure Mutt and Jeff inspired partnerships like Abbott and Costello.

Yeah, now you mention if, I wear unsuitable clothes at times. Don't look when crossing a road, I was 12 before I learnt how to cross a pelican crossing and that was because a car knocked me down as I followed a girl running across the road.
No street smarts.
I've risked eaten food past its date.

I feel the same about online relationships.

I remember reading a very large book that had some of the earliest comic strips published. It was from a public library and had been checked out quite a few times by the time I found it. I cannot remember the name, but it did have Mutt and Jeff pre-WWI strips in there. I would love to find an original Yellow Kid comic book, but they were just not built to last the eons. The earliest comic books were much larger than a standard modern comic book and were usually made with cheap acid-laden paper that breaks down over time (unless stored perfectly).

I recently bought three books about early comics from a local bookseller to study. One replicates the Superman issues during WWII while another does it for Batman. The third book has just the cover pictures of the first twenty years of Batman and Detective Comics covers. My earliest Superman and Batman issues in my collection date to the late 1950s. They get very expensive the earlier the number of the issue. My dad once told me that he had a number one of each in his youth, but they all ended up in the recycle piles during WWII. They would not be worth as much now if they had been kept. Both are million dollar comics in decent condition.

More the later. Just not dealing with people. Although it can also mean dealing with the non human world as well. Like parking a car in the shade in the summer.

There was a family comic in the 1920s known as the Gumps.

Family dynamics hasn’t changed since then

I think I need to apologize to the OP here. My response earlier may not have been a correct answer to what you're looking for. After reading others responses I dont think I understood your definition of common sense.

To me common sense is about reacting to things or making decisions based on logic and finding practical solutions to problems etc.

It doesn't really have much to do with navigating conversations and social interactions. From my perspective, social interactions and understanding others perspectives is an entirely different skill set. That has more to do with being intuitive and making astute observations of another's mental state, which I imagine many people struggle with. This is something I'm trying to work on for myself, and yes I do think reading has helped a bit. Similar to what IsabellaLinton said reading gave me a starting point in trying to interpret others intentions etc.

Thank you.
Yes, that is what I mean by common sense, finding practical solutions to problems.
The social side is another thing, I never read fiction and feel that my inability to interpret others intentions and motives has made me vulnerable to being tricked by others.
Can I ask, do you feel that reading fiction helped you in being able to interpret others intentions and motives?
Did you ever get told you lacked common sense.

The practical side i believe I'm good at, I think i stated previously my friends called me the voice of reason. I used to be really good at running through different scenarios to come up with most efficient and practical solutions. I should mention I wasn't good with emotion but I could put things in perspective with just cold hard facts. No one's ever told I lack common sense.

I definitely think my extensive reading helped with this. It helped with my knowledge base to pull from on potential outcomes to different circumstances etc.

On the social side I have been told I can be naive or that I'm too blunt or that I have no tact. I can't read facial expressions well. I compensate by this with my hearing. All my senses are hypersensitive. So I do notice change in tone and pitch etc when someone is talking, that's how I've compensated over the years. The problem is even though I notice a change i don't always know what it means, unless it's someone I've known for a long time.

When I dont know what the change means I think I do pull from all fiction I've read to try and figure it out. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm completely wrong unfortunately. I tend to be better at sussing out peoples intentions who think more rationally or logically. Those who run on pure emotions i still struggle with.

Also, asking people outright sometimes works. I found out I was on the spectrum last year after a sever burnout. I dont have the energy for figuring out whats in other peoples heads while I'm trying to figure out my own right now. I've been more blunt than normal lately. I've said " I know I upset you, but I don't have clue why, so can you just tell me what I did/said so I can fix it and we can move on". Some people are agast and walk away, most have appreciated my candor and thus been very honest with me and even opened about other stuff. Its been very helpful. Sometimes, reaching the end of your rope and giving caution to the wind is a good thing.