You can control your "meltdowns"

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When I have a meltdown, rage attack, tantrum - call it what you will, I don't care - I am not in a rational frame of mind, this is why I cannot control it.

Almost always these episodes occur (a) when I have PMS &/or (b) if my blood sugar is too low.

Therefore they are mainly a chemical/hormonal phenomenon, i.e. I am in an altered state of mind.

If I know I am in one of these states and know that there is the possibility that whatever I am thinking may not be rational, then there is some likelihood of my avoiding my trigger situations.

The problem comes when I am not aware that I am in an irrational state - in this case, I would regard myself as in the right & the other party in the wrong - and I would never walk away from a just fight because that would be acting submissive and letting "them" win!

Maybe you can control them but its not the same for everybody.

You can't speak for other people.

Does anyone have where they just get really freaked out/panicked, can't think super great, sort of breath fast, have OCD esque symptoms get worse, etc.?

Maybe it's just a panic reaction of some sort, different from a "meltdown"?

Yes I get freaked out and panic and usually over the following:

1. driving. What I do about that is turn up my favorite songs loudly. Sometimes if I'm alone cursing out other drivers (usually they are driving really big jacked up trucks or semi's I dislike them the most) I'll curse them out. They didn't do anything wrong, it just helps relieve the panicky feelings. If I'm not alone, I just keep my mouth shut and listen to the music.

2. going grocery shopping. I feel disoriented and panicky which results in going up and down and all around the store several times. What I do about that is write a list, bring a pen and cross out items on the list. The bad news is most of the time I forget the list.

3. clutter. I can't stand clutter. It angers me and can result in ferocious cleaning. After all of the clutter is gone, everything is better. I get calm and stabalized again.

4. Certain sounds. Some make me panic, others are just really bothersome and make me feel angry. I usually just take a deep breath and try to rationlise in my mind why it's silly to let something so minor get to me. If it gets too bad, ear plugs. If I can't wear earplugs like in a job enviroment, I just deal with it then go home and go to a quiet place or just do something creative or de-clutter.

5. Dentists. I didn't know what was going on and why. I shake like a leaf, I cry a little and panic. I have adverse reactions to anestesia and the sound of a dentist drill freaks me out.

6. I'm not sure how I would respond to going to a salon now. I haven't been to a professional to get my hair cut since the 5th grade. Maybe it would be okay but I'm not sure if I want to test that considering I can cut my own hair.

7. I get overly anxious anytime there is a new plan to the point of not sleeping well like job interviews or plans set by others. I think because of this, I have way too much time to think about all the things that could go wrong and I do that in an attempt to help prevent certain things but really all it's doing is psyching myself out.

8. Panicky feelings also arise when there is too much focus on me like alot of attention. Before I knew what Aspergers was, I went on stage to play guitar for a band and instead of loving the attention, I freaked out but made myself keep going and didn't quite know how to move. It was embarassing but people still liked it for some odd reason.

9. When I'm thrown into a work situation with little to no information and just expected to perform on the same scale as everyone else who has that bit of helpful information. At first I feel like running out, I don't want to look at people and then I just pull it together and do the best I can and ask questions. If others don't like that I'm asking questions that usually results in me getting fired that day but HELLO, if you didn't want me to ask questions maybe you shouldn't have kept me in the dark.

10. Family gatherings that are big. I feel a slight sense of panic but I usually shut off. Expressionless and reclusive. It usually results in a few embarrased people scolding me for "being rude"

In awkwards situations, I tend to just emotionally detach.

Just so you know, autistic meltdowns come from the brain's inability to function due to an overwhelming amount of sensory stimuli. It, in essence, shuts down the cerebral cortex, which is where logical thinking and reasoning are centered. Your brain loses the ability to sort out and discern real danger from perceived danger, and the areas responsible for controlling emotion and behavior go haywire when the cerebral cortex is removed from the picture.
Therefore, your assertion that a "meltdown" can be controlled is highly improbable. Researchers have discovered the causes of these meltdowns and to charge someone with the responsibility of controlling the incontrollable is illogical and down right mean. If doctors and psychologists cannot figure out how to control it, who do you say you are that you can? Further, from your responses, I am wondering about your diagnosis. Maybe you are lucky enough to be the one autistic on earth to NEVER have a single, solitary meltdown.

AnnabelLee, you put that really well!

The OP reminds me of this republican I knew who thought that all people were in control of everything and if they seemed to show otherwise, they were just faking it. The funny thing is, the person was not fully in control of themselves either!

beautifulspam, you have to understand that we all our different in meltdowns and not all of us have melt downs which you expect to be child like, or on the cry baby side of things. we all our a different as. we all have different symptoms. so your post really doesnt make since, like for me a melt down comes when like 2+ strangers or people i dont know come over, i have to go out(away from them) usually for me a melt down causes me to not only be nervous, but the panic attacks come and end up falling asleep, away from the crowd, and when i wake up i'm on a freeze side (with fear) this usually happens which when other people are around, and or i usually when it's really bad it just appears out of no where, and have seizures which only come like once couple years. my melt downs are pretty mild compared to what you expect from someone who has a more severe side of AS and or ADD.

I firmly believe meltdowns can be controlled in many of us, for the most part... BUT... it is a learned art. You can't just think "oh, I'm not gonna have a meltdown" and be fine. It takes a long time to gain the sort of mental discipline and control... and even then it takes a lot of effort sometimes. It took me until 19 or 20 before I had it fully under control, and even now I can still feel it, but can somehow cut it off and prevent it from happening.. which I was unable to do as a child.

Think about it... meltdowns cause us immense embarrassment and alienate us socially... if it were easy to control, wouldn't most of us just do it?

If you could be here to experience my son's meltdowns you wouldn't make such a naive statement.

Ok folks. Let's assume for the sake of argument that some of you really do have rage attacks during which you literally lose self control and become a danger to yourself and othres. What are the implications of this condition?



I found an interesting article that mirrors and expands on the debate we're having here:

http://thiswayoflife.org/blog/?p=46

It depends on the severity obviously; the danger you pose to yourself and others, people who have frequent "meltdowns" that are violent and due to "benign" events are institutionalized, that is locked up and drugged.

Those that aren't as severe, it's best to leave them alone till it's over, trying to stop/control it will make it worst and it may just turn severe.

Autism is sensitivity the environment after all, we feel things that others don't; things that aren't perceived as a threat are easily seen as such to us. It's like the ulitmate expression of the fight or flight response when we "melt".

I'm lucky in that I "shutdown", frequently, passive is a good term to use; I only get violent when I'm forced to do things I don't want to do (those who do get violent most of the time are usually forced to do things that they don't wish to do, it's just that no one understands this).

Anyone who has that going on should probably be checked for other causes than autism per se. ADD/ADHD is one of the more common diagnoses in such cases, but there are a number of possibilities. But anyone who is a danger to themselves and others needs some help with that.

Not long ago I found an interesting study. It examined people with OCD, and tested them for autistic traits. About half of people with OCD turned out to be kind of autistic. One of the telltale signs was that those who were a bit autistic were less prone to rage or violent moods than those who simply had OCD.

Who said anything about rage attacks? Mine come crashing down with lots of tears when I have them, and they are usually triggered by not understanding what somebody is saying due to the wording. When I cannot get a straight answer, I get upset and cry... and rock... and pace.. etc. I can gain some sort of control after a bit when having them, but the initial break down cannot be stopped. I have to get the emotion out before I can think clearly again, or before I have any chance of understanding. It is definitely not within my control during times like this-to others, of course, it just looks like a tantrum... until they realize what started it.

From Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome:

In other words you melt down in private. Very good.