Blunders you've made for being naive?

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"Nobody knows the blunders I have made" topic

When I was a kid, the bullies had a grand old time with me. I wonder what they do now, many years later.

I had no idea people would not tell me the truth. I could not figure out why they would lie to me. Did they get the rush of power out of trying to fool one little person who never even came close to hurting them? How could they fear me?

I suppose I was just too different and in their minds something to despise. I am glad I did not internalize their destructive opinions.

I had to learn of rules of deception, and there are many.

I knew and pitied this really dorky boy, G., and he seemed to be very interested in pretty girls. I knew that it was good to try to share the interests of others, so I cut a lot of modeling pictures from magazines, put them in the folder, gave it to him, and made a few jokes about how they seemed like softcore porn to me.

A few days later he dramatically threw the folder away and told everyone what was in it and who gave it to him. He got very, very angry and rebuked me because "not all guys are like that! I care only about a girl's personality*." and, "autistic people don't look at porn." Everyone went through the garbage can and was tremendously entertained.

I seriously thought I was just being kind.

Some other boys in the class told me that G. was probably just embarrassed. They said they would also be embarrassed if a girl handed them a folder full of "J--- o-- pictures."

* Note: this is hypocritical. Mr. I-Only-Care-About-Inner-Beauty has an aching crush on an attractive girl he has never talked to.

when you get underpaid at work u have gotta say something, i wasn't paid one week and i emailed the payroll lady, turns out she forgot to put me on the list. i was paid the next day.

All though there is that rule of never asking for money until the boss brings it up, u should not follow it always.
as for the topic i was naive as a kid, peoples would act like they wanted to make friends with me i would believe it then they would leave me behind and have a laugh about it. grr

I used to be very naive.

Now I never believe anything anyone says unless I find it to be reasonable. If I have no other opinion in the matter, I'll accept what someone says but with the mindset that it's not confirmed.

My most notable blunder:

My first relationship. 'Nuff said.

Tim

Nowadays, I know to always look for possible ulterior motives why I person says a certain thing. Because I've learnt that people will mostly say what suits their interests to say, rather than "think aloud", i.e. simply voice what's going on inside them the same way it's going on inside them, as I used to believe people did.

Eg: Lying to hide vulnerability: in times of war I've observed the majority of people go around saying they're not afraid in the least. I used to believe them blindly and think that something was very wrong with me because I was the only one around who was afraid. Nowadays I know better than to believe them blindly. And sometimes I even play with their phoniness, saying something like: "You know, not being afraid when under attack is a brain abnormality, as fear exists to alert us of dangers. You should get your head checked, lest you perish for lack of alert."

A big aspie naive moment I had lately was I believed the nurse that called me saying my father was in very serious condition and I must come immediately. Of course I learned when I arrived that my father was already dead when she called and that it's per hospital regulations not to say so on the phone but to say the patient is very seriously ill.

Not sure if this is part of being naive, but it did make me feel very stupid. When I was at my volunteer job a couple of years ago, the manager told me to get some milk and biscuits from a small shop nearby, and she gave me the exact money and told me to bring back the receipt so they could get their money back later or something (not sure how all that works). When I got into the shop, I got what they needed then thought I'd get myself something, using my own money I had on me, so I got myself a bottle of coke, then came back. When the manager looked at the receipt, she asked why there was a coke on the receipt and I told her that I brought that with my own money, thinking I was doing the right thing. But she sounded a bit annoyed at my stupidity, and said that they won't be able to get their money back unless the receipt is exactly right showing only the items they want their money back for, so she had to go to the shop to sort it out. I felt really, really stupid after that.

I could write a novel on how naive I was and how that was exploited but let me just highlight a few that come to mind. As a child, I believed everyone EVEN THOUGH I had a brother who was a pathological liar. He would constantly tell me things to terrify me, like during the Gulf War he told me Saddam Hussein was holding a Nuclear Bomb in his hands and we would all be dead within days and Mom and Dad just don't want to tell me or how he was having massive hallucinations.

I was a obsessive rule follower, but the few times I got into trouble was when I was convinced by other kids that what I did was okay, like trespassing or throwing wet toilet paper into the ceiling at school. I honestly thought they were telling the truth even though it seems obvious they weren't. Of course, sorry to beat a dead horse but the bullies took full advantage of my naive behavior. One in particular invited me over to his house. Taking his offer my friendship at face value, I went over only to be bullied by his father. First, he make derogatory remarks about where I was from (moved to the area a few years before) and said some downright cruel things about me. He then proceeded to get his HUGE dog to charge at me barking and only stopped him when he got into my face barking loudly and laughed about what a wimp I was. I was so naive (or desperate for a friend) I honestly never clued in and continued to pursue friendship with him. I finally clued in when I called him one Sunday night excited about the new Simpsons season and he proceeded to berate me and tell me very angrily to leave him alone. Of course, this bully is still in town and guess what he does for a career, along with a few other fellow bullies? Commission Sales!

Once I graduated university I saw the inefficiencies at the retailer I worked for. Assuming everyone had the same motives as me, I started to loudly present a plan that would save the company a large amount of money but might cost a few jobs. Suddenly, I was getting written up for being 10 seconds late and other ridiculous things. It took me a while to realize that some people are only loyal to their paycheck. Ditto to my fanatical Libertarian/"Free" Market views (but that's another topic there!). Having said that, as an adult I wasn't so bad but my problem was often the opposite. I was so jaded that any form of attention I received, especially from females I automatically assumed had ulterior motives. Probably lost a lot of potential friendships and a possible girlfriend because I was taken advantage of so much in the past. One of the reasons I'm still single is because whenever a reasonably attractive woman talks to me, I immediately ask myself "what is she trying to get from me?" and start getting defensive. Helps me avoid the scammers and gold diggers but unfortunately the genuine and sincere women as well.

Likewise.

Definitely. I always get taken in by shopping channel hype, and my dad always used to accuse me of being gullible. People have frequently told jokes to me enjoying seeing my look because I didn't get the joke or thought they were being serious. I don't tend to be quite as bad these days, as others have said, you wise up in the end, and in my case that means treating everything with a degree of paranoia. In other words presuming there is potentially a sarcastic element or a joke in everything. The niavete is probably the reason I also have never ceased to be confused and upset that people play so many games or have ulterior motives and can't be straightforward, and usually let you down in some way.

I'm pretty gullible and slow to catch on a lot of the time. I used to loan people money that they'd never pay back, too.

I could write a novel about this topic and my life. I can't tell you how many times in my 34 years I've been conned. Some big examples of my gullibility, the ones that really stick out, are times I've been betrayed by people I trusted. The first one that was huge to me was in elementary school. I must have been around 9. Two of my friends had a bunch of little plastic cats and mice and they gave them to me. They said one of them brought them from home. School was a nightmare for me, and even most of the teachers were aweful to me. There was one teacher, however, who was always nice to me. I gave him one of the little plastic toys and told him thank you for always being so nice. About an hour later a teacher came and got me. The toys wre game pieces that had been stollen from one of the classrooms. The friends who gave them to me knew I planned to give one to that teacher and they just sat back and let me. The teacher who confronted me, the teacher whose classroom the toys had been stolen from, already hated me. I explained what happened but of course she didn't believe me. I got in a whooooole lot of trouble when all I did was trust my friends and attempt to thank a teacher who had been nice to me. He wasn't nice after that. That was really horrible for me. I've also been used a lot for money. I only get jokes about half the time, and only if they're in traditional joke structures. If they're told in a way that one would just talk in conversation, I tend to take them literally. The other day I scheduled an appointment with a new therapist at noon and he said "alright, but you'll need to bring me a sandwich." I froze. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not so I didn't say anything. He told me he was joking and then I laughed, but it was more out of embarressment than humor. My aunt used to call me "Julia Bedulia" as. a play on "Amelia Bedilia" because I take things so literally.

I wouldn't say I'm that naive when it comes to relationships or friends. I don't like to be pressured into doing something that I'm not comfortable with. But does it make a person naive when they find it hard to say no, even though in the person's mind they know that this is the time they shouldn't do what the persuader is trying to force them into doing? Because that's what happens to me all the time. I find it hard to look at someone in the eye and say, ''no, I'm not doing that!'' I don't know why, it's just that hard. I seem to fear conflict and also loss, and afraid that saying no might backfire then make them turn against me but still not get out of my life so it'd make me feel like they're ''out to get me'' kind of thing. I don't know, I'm not very confident with all this ''oh but they weren't knowing anyway'' attitude, because I find I am sticking to people who treat me unfairly as a way to avoid being alone. But if someone is being forceful upon me and is upsetting me, I would go and tell somebody about the problem, if I find it so hard to stand up for myself to their face.

But I am very careful with men. I hear so much on the news about a woman knowing a man for a few months and he seems sweet and everything and they have seen each other a lot, then all of a sudden he gets her when they're alone and stabs her to death, and it has frightened me. So any little signs (thank God I can read body language!) that a man is a bit dodgy, I will be off and not care if I never see him again.

The biggest mistake I made was when I let people take advantage of me in class. Because I got good marks lots of classmates wanted to sit next to me during a test so they could see my answers. Sometimes I helped people with homework. I hoped that by helping them they would start liking me and would see me as a friend but they pretty much ignored me when we weren't in the classroom.

It has made me pretty cynical about human nature. I consider men to act out of self-importance now and because of that I'm always distrustful of people's motives for wanting something of me. These days I only look out for myself, I'd rather have no friends at all than a bunch of phonies.