Empathy - not to be confused with compassion

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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
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20 Feb 2008, 12:18 am

I got 25 in this test.

It makes me furious when """"professionals""" just jump to the assumption that because we have poor empathy we are not compassionate. It's two totally and completely different and separate phenomena. Actually, from what I've seen along my life, the more empathetic a person is, the less likely they are to use it for others' benefit and more likely to use it to manipulate others. It's just hypocrisy to claim that the more empathetic a person is the more compassionate they will be.

Moreover, in order to mentally abuse someone it's necessary to have a good intuitive grasp of their psyche, which is empathy.

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20 Feb 2008, 1:07 am

Greentea wrote:

Good point.Being able to read another human being doesn't necessarily mean that the individual in question will act compassionately. And professionals do jump to conclusions.Though now that you mention it, I'm beginning to suspect that the average person associates empathy with compassion.And maybe,just maybe we can use that conscious knowledge to protect ourselves and stick up for other people.Maybe our consciousness can be turned into an advantage.

nannarob
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20 Feb 2008, 1:55 am

Keoren wrote:

Does it count if one can logically deduct what the other person is feeling? I think I'm capable of that, but I don't automatically tune in. Hidden motives are for the most part completely out of my reach.

I've only experience my own point of view so I don't know how empathetic I am.

My latest find, Jeanette Purkis who wrote "Finding a Different Kind of Normal" has the same approach as you Keoren. She is described by her friends as wise but she says that she is applying logic to situations.

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I think there must be some chronic learning disability that is so prevalent among NT's that it goes unnoticed by the "experts". Krex

Danielismyname
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20 Feb 2008, 2:06 am

I got 2 on the EQ test.

ASDs are marked by difficulties in empathy, from none at all, to a distorted perception of such, disordered, and what have you.

anbuend, perhaps you were experiencing sympathy with said autistic individual, i.e., you saw yourself and how you behave in him as you've been at/in a similar place. I say this for I've experienced much discomfort by watching an individual with AS who presented how I do [to some extent] as I saw him struggling with words, and stuttering, as I've been there, and it gave me discomfort viewing this. I felt how he did, well, I felt how I felt at the time; this is sympathy.

I don't feel empathy, not even delayed; I feel sympathy.

IsThatAFact
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20 Feb 2008, 2:17 am

I scored 7! Others have commented that I lacked empathy - I thought they were wrong - I am not sure sure now. Maybe it is more compassion, maybe the truth is I do not really care too much about how others are feeling.

i_Am_andaJoy
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20 Feb 2008, 2:41 am

WurdBendur wrote:

I certainly feel compassion, of course. I've always thought I was actually pretty empathetic, but considering the difference ... I'm not really sure now.

I basically have three reactions to other people's emotions:

They're unhappy, so I worry for them. This is probably just compassion.
They're happy, so I am too. Everybody wants to be happy!
They're angry or upset, so I'm irritated/annoyed because it's troublesome. I don't like dealing with angry people, so sometimes I'll just piss them off until they decide to leave me alone.

Now that I think of it, none of this sounds very empathetic. They all seem rather self centered.

this made me laugh out loud. i feel close to that reasoning too.

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oscuria
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20 Feb 2008, 3:37 am

Your score: 8
0 - 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20)
33 - 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42)
53 - 63 is above average
64 - 80 is very high
80 is maximum

Hmm. I am aware that I've no sympathy. You could have a breakdown right in front of me, and I'd probably worry about failing my class.

zen_mistress
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20 Feb 2008, 4:04 am

I have more empathy for NTs than i used to because I learned more about them and now I realise that their complex social world is a hostile jungle even for them and they have to do all this crazy play-acting and ducking and dodging to survive the whole thing and stay sane.

So now I sort of see why they act the way they do and I dont feel as angry at them as I used to.

But feeling empathy for aspies comes naturally because they are similar to me.

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