Feeling Threatened around Attractive People

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Like a couple of other posters here, I lost significant weight (60 lbs.), started caring about my appearance, and afterwards was called an Adonis. The girls in high school who wouldn't give me a second glance (and said I was ugly) suddenly were interested. I wasn't interested in them, I was still too angry.

I usually don't think of myself as being good-looking unless I see a "good" photo of me and I am intimidated by people who I feel are exceptionally attractive. I wonder if that is just human nature, though.

Z

P.S. Is this showing off, CockneyRebel?

Lets see...I have alot of self-esteem issues..

rather than mere physical attraction, I tend to be more intimidated by people who have their "acts together"..mentally and physically...regardless of whether they subscribe to the Barbie Doll asthetic.....likesay artistic/eccentric people who are also socially adept and physically attractive.

I do worry about the girls that my boyfriend might look at..I am somewhat lucky in the sense that that seems to rule out particularly tall and attractive girls (he is scared of them)....I have to worry though over girls who look more like me....but are younger...and smarter/more socially adept.

I tend to rule out really attractive people as potential partners...I am not really beautiful, and figure that beautiful people date beautiful people....I am more attracted to funny looking people like myself....no offense to them.....i have ended up dating people who I thought were "too attractive" for me...

Well I am no expert but your hair is little long.

On a funny note, I can't stop thinking about this character in Tales of Abyss.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvAt-qNU6MI&feature=related[/youtube]

However, I didn't like the ending.

That's ok. I'm afraid of strangers! I wish I weren't so shy.

I try to avoid the beautiful people as much as possible because they just have nothing to say worth listening to.

Not necessarily! One's physical beauty is NOT contingent upon their intelligence! Or their merit as an individual. There are physically beautiful people, just as their are physically not attractive people, with beautiful minds! And personalities with integrity. This is like opposite discrimination - it's not fair. I take my science very seriously - I do not understand when a total stranger doesn't 'get this' (or even believe me) because I'm whatever is termed 'physically attractive.' I try really hard, being HFA, so I don't need any other form of disregard placed upon me. Consider another's mind, their way of being, how they treat others, etc....not judge by their looks (whether good or bad, by conventional standards).

well, good news (sort of... when you get to a certain age, you just remind them of Daddy, so that's the way they start to act... I'm aware of the attraction, but it doesn't phase me like it used to. I had one young'n flirting with me, until she found out I was 50...

Enjoy 'em while you can..

I don't feel threatened around attractive people. I get shy around atrractive girls sometimes cuz I want to flirt so bad but don't have the right words to say.

Absolutely LabPet! I'm a little surprised at how much the people in this thread admit to judging a person by their looks alone. I really expected aspies to disregard physical appearance, but I guess not.

I was speaking in very general terms. There are physically attractive people out there who are good, intelligent people but they seem to be very rare. In my experience attractive people are able to get away with so much just based upon their looks. They are just not worth the trouble.

Wow! Uh, are you preparing for old-fashioned good lookin' witch burnin'?

Z

No, just avoiding them works for me.

Just a friendly reminder to the people on here. The thread is not about judging someone based on their looks; it about feeling threatened around a certain group of people. For instance, a rabbi can respect Muslims, but he might still feel uncomfortable being in a mosque. Similarly, I have nothing against attractive people (except the fact that society lets them get away with everything). But when I'm in a room full of them, it feels very uncomfortable, as if they're all watching "that ugly guy". Even if they're nice to my face, I can't help but worry about what they're saying about me behind my back.

Interestingly, there's a song "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson that rags on how society always puts attractive people on a pedestal, while subtly mistreating the not-so-attractive ones.

You're right about that pinkbowtiepumps, but when it comes to attractive men, their attractive appearance and personalities Do NOT have any bearing on their intelligence. As you might or might not know, there are A LOT of smart guys out there-some of them brilliant-who women do not find attractive. Might I add that women really dont seem to be *wired* to find intelligence by itself to be sexy the way they're turned on by physical fitness and social adeptivity. There are plenty attractive guys out there who really ARENT that bright.I often feel very aggressively towards men that are attractive to women cuz I view them as competition. But the reason people make these subconscious assumptions about attractive people is because biologically, attractiveness is an *indicator* of good genes.

I wouldn't call this showing off, because you're a very genuine person.

I've gotten to know you through you're writing and I'd say you are beautiful, CR.

Z