27 Mar 2008, 6:25 pm
It is clear you did something offensive or acted weird. Most likely the latter. They just aren't going to tell you what it is. Do you act like and say the same things as other people? If not, try and and be like them. If your attitude is "I just want to be myself" like every other person on this board, then don't even bother trying to fit in. It won't work.
Change your attitude from "I wish the world understood me." to "I wish I understood the world".
Life IS a mystery ! I'm not convinced NTs
always understand the world any better,
after all they get rejected too,but they
probably have the edge at 'repairing' awkward situations with their innate social skills.
I don't think it's necessarily that we've done something offensive. Nowadays the value of friendship has been cheapened by society's general shift towards casual relationships and the emphasis on 'quantity' rather than 'quality'.I've come to the conclusion that some people think it's fashionable to change aspects of their life in order to 'move on' (a phrase that really annoys me
)
I've been given the cold shoulder for no
apparent reason and I can only console
myself that my reaction was one of bemusement rather than bitterness.I did
make efforts at friendly contact but maybe
the other people simply wanted to have a fresh start away from their past. In any
case,they can't erase us from their memory
so to me it still seems irrational for them to cut off contact.
27 Mar 2008, 7:31 pm
28 Mar 2008, 11:29 pm
Reading this makes me wonder if such things happen to NT's as well? I wonder?
For me I have trouble making friends period... I can make good acquaintance friends and that seems to satisfy me. I can't seem to take friendships outside the context of the setting. When I was in college I had a few friends in the classroom.
Sometimes I think it is because, with friendships, I seem to be fine just talking to people on the setting. I don't know how to invite them places and I probably would not invite them to our house any time soon...
Perhaps if they were expecting that then that may be a letdown. Also it may be a lot of confusion on my part. I've had NT's want to be friends, but I had no idea how to react. For example a long time ago someone, a very nice person gave me a video tape (Stuart Little). I thanked her, but I didn't know what to do beyond that. I don't feel too bad that it never worked out, because some of it was a shortcoming on my behalf. I just wish I knew what to do if a similar situation ever arose.
Not to mention I have broken up from potential friends as well. Some of the things that set me off, was for example, one friend liked to talk long hours on the telephone. I feel bad because I told her I would be a friend and not leave her, but it didn't work. I just couldn't force myself to listen for hours on the telephone and be expected to talk that long about things that didn't interest me.
Another person I felt was too needy. Plus she seemed to ask me questions I felt nervous answering. And the things she liked to talk about bored me, such as gossip and boys.
There was a boy who was a friend of mine, even though he said he was willing to be just a friend; I could tell he wanted more... And if he couldn't have me, then it seemed like he wanted to hook me up with some of his friends. He meant well. And I feel bad because I didn't know how to react. I still don't know how to react. It's hard to explain asexuality to people just as much as it is with autism.
I've also gotten friends emails, but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to email them and by now too much time has passed.
Maybe that is just it. At home I do a lot of things on my own and talk with my grandma. Although I dread when I move out and live independently. It would be nice to have one other real life person to communicate with. 
29 Mar 2008, 4:15 am
