How come NTs don't accept us?

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agreed

thats true

Why do you assume the people are "faking" having a good time?

It seems that way to me. Plus I've never heard anyone I know say they've had a good time after the fact. They always tell me that they never wanted to go in the first place, but they felt they had to and they pretented to enjoy themselves.

I'm just more honest about it and let the people know how I really fell. If they can't accept me because of it, its there problem not mine.

You need to understand how wrong you are.

Very good question. In observing people over the years, I, too, felt that sociable people were being 'fake' a lot of the time. Chances are that a lot of them are expessing interest in others to a level to which they're really not that interested -- which is what aspies pick up on, and since aspies don't normally feel interest in the personal stories of others, we're like, "Who cares?" But that is exactly what 'socializing' is - expressing interest in others in order to engage them in conversation. NTs wll ask questions of people like, "I heard your son graduated from high school last month and got that scholarship. Is he excited about going to XYZ University?" The person asking that kind of question may not really want a detailed answer. They will expect something of the one-line variety, like, "Oh yes, my son loves college life and he's getting along great." They ask positive questions and expect positive replies. As aspies, we often get too literal and hate asking personal questions as well, so therein lies the difficulty. We don't really care about small talk like the above and find it incredibly boring (I know I do) and can't see ourselves engaging others in conversation that way. Still, if you want to actually meet people and have friends, you have to at least try to learn the ways of the NT. I can manage it well enough, but if the conversation gets too in-depth, that's when NTs start tuning me out or else I tune them out. I don't think NTs are deliberately being 'fake' in conversation so much as they're doing a verbal 'dance' to engender conversation and have a reason to continue talking to the person or persons they're interested in.

Wellsaid, Rainstorm5. But I'm done being fake. Done going to social gatherings. I know I will be alone all my life because God gave me AS. Time I accept it and not be something i'm not.

Don't give up. You just need to talk to people with interests the same as yours, that's all.

why is there racism,sexism,agism?

Then why did you go to this one? If him inviting you to these things bothers you so much just ignore the hell out of him. Even if the invites keep coming it doesn't mean you have to go.

sterotypes- and persons who blab inadaqute informaition. Persons / compainies / schools who will put forth the proper training.

Valuman/ Jeremy

You don't have to be alone. You can learn to interact with people, like I did.

Some NTs do accept us, though. It seems once they learn how to connect with us, they do just fine--the main problem is prejudice that makes it hard to try to connect in the first place, or to assume it's not possible.

Naturally there will always be jerks out there. And some NTs would be bored in Aspie company (and vice versa, probably). But, jerks aside... I really think that acceptance and communication are possible.

You also
A) think you were kicked off ENworld because they hated aspies
B) think a joint caused a police shooting
C) think women are demons from hell

Ken, your barometer for figuring out what other people's motivations are isn't the best. Maybe, just maybe, people seeming to have a good time at a party are having a good time at a party. It's not a stretch.

Why is all the onus being put on NTs?

For Pete's sake we're all human beings!

lol. Apparently Family Gatherings are ALL that. I've heard a friend of mine say that to me that the family gatherings tend to be places for small talk and meaningless chit-chat that doesn't go anywhere. If you're trying to find out info about them, then it's more acceptable. Some stuff...lol.

People often go there to gain more information about more people, how other people act, etc. (like how some people check on threads for info, new posts, or checking up on their facebook/myspace, etc)They interact with them more than say-me who would walk through their neighborhoods seeing how they live and occasionally going to a restaurant to eat or a concert at Millenium Park as I'm nearby or can take a bus there as im downtown or at the north side then...

Last edited by Warsie on 10 Sep 2008, 7:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.