Makes no sense (or I'm much more ret*d than I thought)

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Update #2:
So I just finished a conversation with him on MSN, which I saved.

In the conversation I asked him once again what he has problems with (for example: why he can't take gym class) and he avoided answering by revealing that the reason he's not taking gym has nothing to do with his IEP. He didn't want to take it and it's not on his timetable. So he might end up taking it later since it's madatory.

I asked him "why don't you understand/respect that I don't like it when you tease me sarcastically, point out my flaws and/or what you do better than me, answer with "may or may not", etc. You don't care and/or realise that I really dislike those things".
He said: "I know, but you have to grow up and take it like a man because a lot of people will be doing worse. I am just joking about it"
I said: "that's not always obvious. In fact, it's usually not obvious. i don't need all the stress required to be your friend when you're being like that."
He didn't answer so I wrote "no comment?" and he said he was doing things. I said "doing things doesn't help you be serious in a serious conversation" and he said "you do realise that by constantly acting as if you are beneath me that I would not get annoyed at this?". I had to ask "are you saying it's annoying or are you saying that it's not annoying?" and he said "it's annoying".

After some other things I won't mention because they're not relevant to this thread, I said "there are certain things associated with autism and if you have none of them, you're not autistic. I'd like you to explain what you meant when you said "just because you have something, doesn't mean you 'have' it""
His response: "god you're dense"

After more irrelevant comments, I said: "are you stubborn or clueless? are you ashamed? you must be in denial. I was too when I first found out about my autism, but haven't you known for a while?" and I added "you aren't perfect. you know that."
His response: "I'm an a**hole, you use the fact that you're autistic to put yourself down too much. it means virtually nothing. it doesn't make you a different person. YOU ARE YOU"
Continuing what I added: "but you won't help me by letting me know what your cognitive imperfections are"
His response: "because it is more fun if you learn them yourself"
My response: "don't do that to me! it's tearing me apart"
His response: "why? because you can't tell someones weaknesses from just looking at them?"
My response: "because you are a constant reminder that I'm not as good as I want to be. You're too good to be true. It would put me at ease to know that you have flaws and limits"
I got no response from him, and so I continued the conversation.

Later in the conversation, he said "also the difference between me and you is I took a social skills class".
I said: "there's more to AS than bad social skills"
I got no response from him, and so I continued the conversation.

Later I showed him the diagnostic criteria for AS (he says he's sure that's what he has) and he said "actually I can say that most of those are a no"
My response: "which means...you don't have it"
His response: "as I said, you can have something without 'having' it"
My response: "explain"
His response: "uhhg... I proved it to you by showing that I do and don't have autism"
My response: "you've shown me nothing proving that you DO"
His response: "medically I do"

Later in the conversation, I told him something about myself and he said "I know", and I said "you know everything. and I know nothing." and I added "nothing that matters"
He said "yes you do" and added "I'm blocking you and am not talking to you until you stop being a f***ing a**hole to yourself and you stop being an idiot".
I said "i didn't want this to happen. i wanted to understand you. i wanted you to understand me."
He said: "you look down at yourself too much"
I continued: "i wanted us to have mutual respect for each other. instead of me giving you more than i get" and then I added "from you or me".
His final words to me were: "you should take yourself as you were made and accept it. don't try and change yourself if you don't want to. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then it is their fault and their loss. With this I say good day and good bye. Until we meet again"

He really is an a**hole. Don't bother talking to him or being his friend. He isn't worth your time.

He probably enjoys leaving people clueless and driving them crazy with it and making them feel bad thinking they have to toughen up. He also doesn't sound very honest despite him being honest enough to admit he is an a**hole since he wouldn't answer all your questions, he avoided them so that should tell you something is wrong.

So, pretty much what I said in my previous post that was gonna happen did.

DJRnold,

Unless you are in a safe area, like this, or are friends, you shouldn't expect him to say what his weaknesses are. He could have been poking fun at the DSM, misled, or merely playing with you. Don't take offense.

Concerning DJRnold's conversation with him on MSN --

That would have made me uncomfortable. I don't always want to share stuff. And sometimes I don't want to know stuff about others. I can't give a general rule about what's Ok and when and with who, except that I want it to be my choice. The "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" deal has to be mutually agreed, or it's not a really deal.

I wouldn't take it personally. He probably just needs more space.

The part about not taking gym could be nothing. My daughter has an IEP (not an Aspie) and she skipped gym sometimes because the schedule for the specialists just didn't work. And she was exempt from Spanish at one point, not because there was anything special about Spanish, but just because the full load was too much.

If he really felt uncomfortable saying why he doesn't do PE, he should have said "For personal reasons and I don't like to say." Also about other things too he wouldn't be honest about, he should have told him he doesn't like to talk about it if that was the case.

When I ask questions and people don't want to answer them, they tell me "personal reason" or they tell me they don't like to talk about it. They don't act the way that kid acted. Even my own aspie friends don't act that way, they just say for "personal reasons" or they don't like to talk about it because it makes them uncomfortable and I respect it.

I'm surprised that no one here has said they agree with his last statement.

Not everyone has the social skills to say "I don't want to talk about that, that's personal." Especially people who have received a high level of certain kinds of intervention that don't even teach that kind of answer as an option when they teach communication (some forms explicitly punish that as "task-avoidance"). I'm not saying this guy is, or isn't, an a**hole, I don't know him and I haven't read the conversations thoroughly enough to form an opinion. I'm just saying that it's not reasonable to expect that everyone, especially every teenager, especially every autistic teenager, knows how to communicate those things, just because some people (including some autistic people) do. A lot of people, also, are insecure about being disabled and try to hide it. A kid I used to know always claimed to be in algebra when she was really in remedial arithmetic. Peer pressure and bullying can do that to people, even autistic people, and it seems harsh to judge someone for being in either of the above situations.

Hmm, I don't know..he might see you as being insecure towards him, and is taking advantage of that to make himself feel superior to you. Sounds like based on his statements like "You have to act like a man", he also could be dealing with the pressures of society telling him he's not a man himself. It's like if you show any sensitivity as a guy in this culture, you're called a loser or worse.

This reminds me of the last trip when I went to Disneyworld. A boy knew these stats about turtles in the Talk With Crush show, like let's say how many of a type of turtle are predicted to be in a certain area of the ocean. It was pretty funny, cause Crush said "Whoaaaaa...dude, you're like so smart!" and everyone was thinking the same thing. I was thinking he might be Aspie, but I didn't want to bother bringing it up in front of their parents. You never know, they might be ignorant and assume you're calling their kid a "ret*d" and blow up at you or something. Or think that it's a horrible illness like on TV, and then they'd be all freaked out like they have to have their kid tested, and it's like "No, I'm saying your kid is a genius..what's wrong with that? I'm saying he could be like a super smart nerd, like Bill Gates, or something!"

Update #3
Last night he talked to me on MSN.

Him: "You done being so goddamn pessimistic?"
Me: "I need to apologize to you. i was very intense and occasionally rude yesterday night and I shouldn't have asked you such personal questions"
Him: "f*ck you're an idiot"
Me: "I'm done trying to figure you out. as for the pessimism, I'm working on it."
Him: "your biggest flaw is you have a God Damn Inferiority Complex"
Me: "I'll do my best to avoid verbalizing about it. i don't want to have it. but it's not going to disappear overnight"
Him: "you try too hard."
Me: "if i try less hard, nothing will change. I thought you want me to stop being pessimistic."
Him: "you just don't get it do you?"
Me: "no I don't. can't you explain what I'm supposed to be 'getting'?"
Him: "no. Talk to me when you do. A man is only as great as he feels. If he feels inferior then he shall always be inferior."

He wasn't at school yesterday, but I saw him today and he expected me to know what the "it" in "you just don't get it" is. I told him that that's like trying to describe something that's invisible, but he said it's obvious, just not to me. He told me it's something about me, and that I'll figure it out if I think about his three quotes/messages (his 2 final messages on MSN plus he gave me a third today):

1) "you should take yourself as you were made and accept it. don't try and change yourself if you don't want to. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then it is their fault and their loss."
2) "A man is only as great as he feels. If he feels inferior then he shall always be inferior."
3) "Think about everything I've done to you, everything I've done with you and everything I've done for you. It's all been FOR you. Everything we've done has been FOR you."

He won't give me any more information about "it", and he says that if I can't figure it out, I'm hopeless. I still have no idea what "it" is, so I'm going to see what you guys have to say about it.

your friend sounds like a total autism-impostor.

I don't see how a person with AS could ever use a phrase "you can have something without having it".

I mean, come on! being 14 is NOT an excuse!