Which do you prefer? to be ignored or to be bullied?

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Ignored.

(At this stage in the thread was there even any point in answering? )

Well, the answer is not as obvious as you think. People would give the question more thought if they understood what being ignored means, but most here are considering only a romantic scene where they're left to do as they please.

Being ignored is: being constantly passed up for promotions, recognition, awards and perks at work, and even rights. Being left out of crucial information that is being passed among colleagues and/or members of the family, having one's birthday forgotten, never being called with suggestions to do something together, people not offering help when you most need it, your favors going unacknowledged, people consistently pretending not to hear when you give input or an opinion or make a comment, everyone's needs and wishes being taken into account for a common decision except yours, and so, so much more.

Now the choice between being bullied and being ignored is not so easy. If anyone reads this post they won't be so sure of the better choice.

After reading these posts and knowing what I've been thru, too, I have to say being bullied and ignored are equally as bad. I've been thru both and it's true, being ignored is a form of bullying. I've experienced that method of bullying too, along with other more blatant forms, being put down and all kinds of hell. After they get thru with that they decide it's time to ignore you, so that's the proverbial icing on the cake. Being ganged up on, insults and put downs, then the collective decides they are thru with all that and now it's time to completely ignore. Gee, life is so much fun, eh?

That's my experience too.

ignored by far.

oh i definitely include being bullied...always bullied.
it gives me a justifiable reason to take out my rage on the world and bop someone on the nose as an appropriate form of retaliation.

Ignored. Without a doubt.

I've had vaguely amusing experiences in the past where people have totally ignored me, obviously imagining that this was the worst punishment that they could possibly inflict, whereas, in fact, I was quite pleased when I realized that they were leaving me in peace and not pestering me with their inane chit-chat.

What then became even more ironic is that after a time, they would often 'graciously forgive' my perceived misdemeanours and start talking to me again - quite obviously because they were the ones who ended up finding it uncomfortable for there to be someone around whom they didn't speak to.



I think it is indeed one of the key areas where we differ. From my observations, a great deal of most NT people's sense of self (and of self-worth) comes from being acknowledged by others, their relationships with them, and the knowledge of where they stand socially in relation to them. Therefore, to totally ignore an NT is, in effect, to make them disappear; to make them feel, almost literally, as if they don't exist.

Being Ignored is quite often an act of bullying. But if you mean would I prefer this to the physical violence I suffered at school absolutely I wish they had just ignored me, but then being ostracised might actually be worse. At least I got to throw the odd punch back.

Prefer being ignored, but sometimes turn it against the ignorer. Sometimes if they ignore me when I know they could really use some information that I have, I solve the problem on my own or give the information to someone else so that the ignorer, in the end, realizes that they they should have paid me a little more attention. Passive-aggressive anyone?

Z

Ignored. There's less of a trauma in being ignored.

Well, many of these sound like examples of adult bullying, to me. Adults are generally more subtle and not as "in-your-face" about these things as children.

I actually like being ignored in school because I don't want to socialise with anyone apart from a few friends there anyway, I'd much rather be left on my own to think about my obsessions or whatever.

Ignored. That way nobody is being mean to you.

Kaleido, I'd have to go with the lesser evil in my mind that being being ignored.
Atleast, there is not a great deal of torment from having others look the other way as, that has happened to me a great deal over the course of 30yrs now yet, I sincerely feel that either of the elements mentioned in your post could be looked upon different by each person here in the forum.In fact, I was bullied for a great deal of my life all the way through high school even into the workplace which I thought, was somewhat odd yet, such scenarios are not outside of the typical patter of bullyism as such.. Kaleido, in regards to being ignored, yes that has happened a great deal of several times as well even in various message forums in Aspergian-related sites, No not here just elsewhere shall we say.
Anyways, I'm hoping that all of the posts to this topic you have brought up sjhall be helpful unto you...


ProfessorX

No, I didn't make it a poll because I was looking at the extremes; yes of course, other options are preferable

I think its probably true for most people with an ASD to have been ignored and bullied and also for us to think we have been ignored or bullied and misunderstood things like teasing or some kinds of confrontation. I know I have experienced all of these things and have often felt confused by all of them too.