Optimism and Reality: Goldfish21 Response to me

Post Reply New Topic

I suggested you treat the root cause by focusing on improving your health.

IMO:

People are wealthy because they’re happy, and they’re happy because they’re healthy.

Health is wealth and you are what you eat. “Let thy medicine be thy food and thy food be thy medicine.”

Get yourself healthy enough via diet & exercise and the quality of your thoughts and perspective improves, too. I know because I’ve done it. There is no other way. It requires hard work, discipline, and dedication - but it’s worth it. Even if it takes years, it’s worth it.

Another quote comes to mind: “Never give up on a goal because the time is going to pass anyways.”

Stop doing the same things you’re doing and expecting different results and focus your efforts on improving yourself, your health, your depression etc etc etc as changing yourself for the better is truly the only way you’re ever going to perceive the world in a different, more positive, way.

Again, I practice what I preach. I’ve done it. I do it. I live and breathe it every day. I’m telling you the truth and the process. This is your advice and guidance you want from others who are more successful to tell you how to be so yourself.

Ok, so I can call you Dr. Goldfish right?

Not for at least another 7 years, perhaps longer.

How do you figure that root cause of my issues is my health? Seriously, do you have a medical degree?



Opinions are not facts.



And guess what dude? I agree, but People are happy cause they had some wealth. In the USA food that is less healthy is the least expensive. Impoverished ppl can't afford more nutritional food.



Huh?



I've done diet and exercise. I'm on a meal plan right now. When it comes employment I still have the same results. Like I said, it's not my attitude that is the issue. My advice since we're going to play medical expert, get yourself checked out for autism/aspergers by someone who is qualified and post your results. In fact, I'll tell you this my IQ has improved over the years. At one point it was 79 when I was a kid. When I was in my teens it jumped to 88. Just 10 years ago it was 98. Now, it is 108. I have depression, negative thoughts, major anxiety, etc. I ate bad for a time. How did my IQ still improve over this time? It was that I understood things better and things made more sense.

I had difficulty driving for a time until I had to go to remedial driver's ed. I didn't believe I could drive. I had problems switching lanes. But, it was the instructor who showed us how to do it properly. He explained it in detail. I developed true positivity and confidence not this fake s**t society demands today. To this day, I can drive.



Well, ASS-P is in poor physical health. He wants to go to college. Should he continue to pursue this endeavor and stress himself more? Or should he realistic accept college is not going to work out for him and he should pursue trying to maintain his physical health and doing other things that are more realistic for him? ASS-P is a classic example of my point. Should one continue to pursue this endeavor at to great of a cost? Time is going to pass so shouldn't one do goals that are realistic to you and will enrich you?



It doesn't matter how one perceives the world. http://www.importanceofphilosophy.com/M ... olute.html



Which does not teach me how to add 2 + 3. In other words your advice says nothing and it is nothing new that I haven't heard b4 from the self-help industry. I tell them as well and we have the same arguments. My attitude is not at issue here

I don't think "giving up" is a good life/philosophical notion.

What Goldfish has come up with has worked for him. And he believes it would work for other people, too.

Then again, if somebody is on SSDI, and is making it on his own, and doesn't mind all the intrusive "checks" and other types of insecurity that come part and parcel with being on SSDI, who am I to advise that person to get off SSDI?

I've known people who are living contented existences while on benefits. They can pursue 'self-actualization" in their own way. They are not sponging off other people. They make do with the limited funds which they receive from the government. As long as they don't lambaste people who want to get jobs and not be on benefits.

I wouldn't do it myself, because I would feel down for being on benefits. Because having a job is much better than putting up with all the crap which comes part and parcel with being on benefits. From my viewpoint.

I would advise a person to seek to get off SSDI if the person seems really depressed from being on it. Obviously, success is not guaranteed. Then again, it doesn't hurt to try.

Sometimes it is the best out of other bad decisions to make. Case in point is ASS-P. You got to know when to hold em, fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run like f**k. ASS-P needs to walk away and stayed at that center and did everything they told him to do including not leaving, forget college and somehow get rid of the stuff he can't really store and/or keep.



For some people, it may. But for some like myself it does not work. People are different. Different experiences, neurologies, different perceptions. This is what GF needs to truthfully grasp and what people with his philosophy needs to get to. The idea of our society is anyone and everyone can pull themselves by their own bootstraps (today's interpretation is not the original interpretation. Look up the works of The Adventures of Baron Mancheusan) which is absurd. If everyone could do this and realistically follow GF's advice then wouldn't they have logically done so. If his advice was the true answer then wouldn't there be a lot less cases of SSDI and wouldn't a lot more disabled people be employed and a lot less in "Not in the Labor Force." Come on man! Connect the dots and use some logic.



That's assuming they have the choice to do so and even if they did they would know what steps they can take. And, it presumes they know all of their choices. Again, come on! Let's use some logic and critical thinking please!



Or maybe those people are sick and tired themselves being lambasted by those who believe in GF's way whom are in the majority who basically say what he says and that all one needs is confidence, to believe in oneself and one needs to go to work on one's mental health. How do they know that person hasn't done any of these things and these things were ineffective for them because they have not been receiving what they actually needed?



You mean with them checking up on me to see if I can have my benefits continued. They did that with me and I nitpicked their questions which turned out to be 20 pages. I used to have a blog and sent them 50 pages of my blog as well. They wrote back to me that they would continue my benefits and I have never been bothered since by them. Knocking on wood, I have to say all is well in the SSDI aspect.



If they don't know what to do to get off of it and need help from others to do so then they have no choice but to stay on. Are you willing to sit down and work with them and help them get and keep a job? Are you willing to invest your time and energy? GF has made it clear he hasn't. IF one is not willing to put up the time or energy to help those who are on SSDI out and want to get off of it then telling them be confident, positive and all of that new age mess doesn't work. It would be better to say I can't help you and I have no answers for you and simply to accept that person being on SSDI. When I mean you I'm referring to the general public especially personal responsibility advocates and pop psychologists whom GF behaves as. I don't mean you as in KraftieKortie in this context.

It is abundantly evident that your perceptions, depression, anxiety, executive brain functions etc all constrain you from functioning normally in daily work. While largely considered mental vs physical, these are all components of your overall health and well being. One does not need a medical degree to make that observation.

IMO/in my experience/according to all I’ve learned in life.. what are you expecting anyone to say besides what they know? I, and others, are not encyclopedias. Besides your splitting hairs, IMO the opinions I’ve stated ARE facts. They’re all true and very real to me.

6 years ago my income was zero. I traded my labour for a roof over my head and basic food to eat. When I started earning any money at all it was $50-150/month for a very long time. I allocated 100% of that money to food/medicine that would make me healthier and chose to ingest nothing that would make me unhealthier. Even on very low incomes, people have choices in what they eat. But by bit I got healthier, and then my ability to earn money increased, and I reinvested it in my health as fast as I could. I know people here on welfare/disability/low income and they spend their money on very unhealthy processed foods, drugs, and alcohol instead of healthy medicinal food, water, and their time on exercise & rest. They’re simply not interested in improving their health nor lot in life, but if they were, they could do so with just the sheer will and determination to do it. If it’s one’s goal, it can be done. Hell, even if it means all one can afford are packets of seeds & they must work to plant a Spring garden in order to eat healthier all year. We live in Canada/USA, not Ethiopia. Food is not scarce. Largely, it’s peoples priorities that are backwards/distorted, combined with their lack of willpower & discipline to work themselves out of a bad situation and into a good one. Maybe some NT can get a new job and achieve food security in 3 weeks, maybe it takes someone like yourself 3 full years of gardening, better budget planning, working short term online contract gigs and squirrelling that money away for better food/medicine until you’re stable and well - but so what? It’s all about personal self improvement, even if it’s at a painfully slow pace in the beginning and doesn’t really begin to pay off for 5 years or more.. so what? Patience and persistence pays off. Christmas tree farmers plant seedlings today so they have a harvest again in 5 years. It takes time for people to grow, too. At 38 years old you’re only 3 years older than myself and may not even be half way through your lifespan yet. IMO, even if it takes a DECADE to get well, it’s worth it for the rest of your life. Life is a really long time and I’d certainly rather live it healthy and happy vs unhealthy and miserable.

Re: “Huh?” Like I said, health is wealth and you are what you eat. Literally. The quote is from Hippocrates who recognized that food IS medicine. In short: If you eat the right foods, you’ll get healthier and stay healthy. If you eat the wrong foods, you’ll become increasingly unhealthy. Right/wrong depends on what ails you. I’ve shared here years ago what I ate that began to change my health for the better. I know you’ve read it. Go read it again if you like.

Clearly whatever diet and exercise you’ve done to date have not made you a healthy happy man and there’s obviously room for improvement.

I have no need, not want, to seek an official diagnosis. You’re all about over explaining your logic and rationale behind things yet offered up exactly zero reasons why I should do that. The only real world application of it here is if one’s plan is to quit and go on welfare/disability. Otherwise the only reason I could ever be bothered would be during the course of an ASD research project if I were to be involved. I’m not about to put myself on a waiting list and waste scarce medical resources & expertise in order to post here and tell you what I already know about myself. A psychiatrist’s official stamp changes nothing about me nor my neurological makeup. I’m not giving up on life and am not part of an ASD study sooo, no.

Driving: So you’ve proven my point that by not giving up, by trying, by doing, by learning, you managed to achieve a goal. Apply that same logic to other areas of your life and you’ll accomplish other things.

ASS-P has a dream about going to college. It’s not truly his goal, IMO. That’s fine for him to have that dream if it keeps him going, but unless it has a timeline it remains a dream. Further, taking the steps to prepare himself for college would mean looking after his health first and foremost vs self sabotaging himself binging on McDonald’s and sugar in order to trigger his diabetes and get a couple free nights in the hospital and then some hotel. These are not the actions of a person committed to achieving a goal of going to college. You’re right that he should focus on his health instead of filling out college applications, I’m just saying that if college truly were his goal then he’d be working on overcoming every constraint and barrier to doing so, starting with his health, shelter/stability, food security, finances etc. All of that would be part of the process of setting himself up to successfully actualize his goal of returning to college. If his desire to realize that goal before he dies we’re strong enough, he’d get started on the foundations of rebuilding his health and his entire life would change for the better. His posts would be about his progress, not his setbacks, and people here would rally behind him with love and support and information about resources available to him that would help along the way. But like many others, ASS-P simply has a dream, not a goal, and isn’t willing to do whatever it takes to make it his reality. Unless ASS-P changes himself, it’s exetemely improbable that his dream will ever become a goal with a timeline that gets achieved before his time is up. And that’s okay if he’s okay with it. Some people are dreamers, not doers, and they take comfort in their dreams & aren’t interested in the discomfort of hard work & discipline. To each their own.

It does matter how you perceive the world. Your thoughts, self talk, internal dialogue, and even posts here all matter as they shape your perception & perception is reality. I’ve been depressed/negative/pessimistic etc to the nth degree and it’s no fun at all. It’s far superior to be positive/optimistic. If I were feeling down, I might get frustrated at a long rush hour drive over a local bridge where some idiot crashed his car and caused a massive delay.. or, if I must go that route at that time, I could relax and listen to some upbeat music as I take a slow cruise through a temperate rainforest over the world’s widest bridge and marvel in its impressive engineering. Exact same scenario, totally different perception. You and I could be riding in the same car and your experience of reality may be the former example while mine is the latter - same reality - but two entirely different human experiences of it.

Actually, your attitude is an issue here. People are telling you the information you need to learn in order to be more successful and you argue with them and dismiss their advice as useless. There’s a saying that’ “One should only take advice from someone they would be willing to trade places with.” So, if people who have achieved the things you want to are telling you how to do those things and you ignore their input, how can you expect to emulate their sucessses? Clearly your way hasn’t achieved the results you want or you wouldn’t still be sitting at square one 10 years on. IMO you’re not likely to begin achieving things you want to until you accept that you don’t have all the answers and that you can learn from others AND mostly that change comes from within - you have to focus on changing and improving yourself if you’re ever going to have a fighting chance of improving your circumstances. But if you’re attitude is that others advice is all crap and of no use to you and you know best, then you’ll continue doing things your way forever and you can expect more of the exact same results. If you’re okay with being a dreamer and don’t truly want to do the work required to achieve goals, then by all means, carry on. Just don’t complain about the results not being what you want if you’re attitude is that you’re unwilling to do what it takes to change yourself. That’s the irritating thing to others, IMO.

Edit: Not sure if the image is displaying or not. Here’s the link:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid ... 105&type=3

GoldFish

I have to laugh because I've wanted to live a more simple life like Little House on the Prairie. This is what I'm talking about here. Here in this paragraph you're more specific. You're not using canned and stocked phrases that mean nothing to me. You give specific examples instead of using idioms and speaking as though magic existed. If you talk to me like this I can understand you and I can work with you. All you have to do is speak to me, have a discussion with me, give me ideas. Even if I say I don't see how it can be done because of x, y, and z don't try to force the can do attitude down my throat. Either ask me to elaborate further, modify what you say or come up with something else.
Just be patient with me. You see I was having issues with developing code for creating an AI player for Tic Tac Toe. My mother hooked me up with another programmer who helped to maintain her website and him and I got to talking in Email. He explained what he thought I was doing wrong. When he explained it it was like a whole light bulb just went on. And, that's what usually happens with me. I don't get something for a while and I mull over it or talk to someone and it's like all of a sudden I simply get it with no rhyme or reason.

Getting a temporary gigs and gardening would be one possible solution but where would I plant the seeds? Could one do it like they did with victory gardens during WWII?

Another thing, you did good when you said that it could take a while before you see results but keep sticking with it. But, with that good piece of advice is there ever a time to consider that x isn't working and it is time to switch to another endeavor. When would that be?

In other words are you willing to come under the hood of the car with me and teach b/c if you're not then you're wasting my time. It's like telling me the solution to school shootings is thoughts and prayers. If this will be the case then I would recommend parents use the money they attempt to mainstream their disabled kids put that money into some kind of hedge fund, convert all that money saved and made into a dowlery and simply face the sad truth that more then likely they will not succeed. And, educate them as far as they can be educated.

Another thing GF for why I recommend parents the advice I recommend them. It isn't because those who are disabled are incapable or incompetent. It's because of the facts of our society that demand one must pull oneself by his bootstraps, the fact that there are little services and the fact this whole positive attitude cult like atmosphere among other things. If you (people with the whole personal responsibility mindset) won't provide guidance like I've described instead of promoting and forcing the whole positive and confidence thing and there aren't a lot of services out there then it would not be in the best interest of the parents to mainstream those with disabilities especially our disability today especially when in glaring lights the stats that exist and the requirements that employers have with no exception whatsoever.

Plant seeds in dirt, add water and sunlight. Backyard garden, window sill planter box, rooftop garden, old ice cream buckets - doesn’t matter, plants don’t care where the dirt is, they just grow.

It’s time to change things whenever you have new, better, information. Sometimes that’s frequently, other times it’s decades later.

If it’s not because disabled children are incapable or incompetent then why wouldn’t you encourage them to push their potential vs caution them against bothering to even try?

External societal pressures & ideologies have sweet F all to do with indiciduals’ lifetime achievements. Besides that, I see nothing wrong with a society collectively encouraging every one of its members to be productive and self sufficient to the best of their personal potential.

I have no idea what services are available to who where nor how they stack up against demand so can’t really comment on that. I do know we have a severe shortage of services for very mentally ill drug and alcohol addicted people, but I have no idea what services are available or not for “regular,” disabled people here or where you are.

Again, I see literally nothing wrong with promoting positivity & optimism. What would you prefer, a campaign of pessimism and negativity? Perhaps some demotivational billboards?

You keep saying “guidance,” or something like it but never really elaborate on what exactly you want from others. It’s like ASS-P asking for “help,” without specifying what help he needs and what help he expects people to deliver to him via text on a forum. What are you wanting/expecting?

What do you propose instead of mainstreaming disabled kids so they can function in the mainstream world? Isolating them? Putting them in group homes and asylums again? Lying to them and telling them the real world isn’t challenging and that they don’t have to try to fit into it? F all of that. Without “mainstreaming,” my disabled friend wouldn’t be a successful entrepreneur with a dozen full time software & electronic engineers and marketing people on staff. Another friend wouldn’t have two Deaf Olympic medals for playing hockey for Team Canada. Another, despite being confined to a wheelchair due to muscular dystrophy, wouldn’t be in university pursuing a teaching career. I wouldn’t have the education and life I have, nor the one I’m working towards.

Telling disabled children not to bother trying because they’re statistically unlikely to succeed amounts to psychological child abuse, IMO, and there is absolutely no way you could possibly convince me otherwise. Every child, NT or otherwise, should be encouraged to dream big & work hard towards their personal best with plenty of positive affirmations, love, and support along the way.

I will respond to your post later but I just thought. I was born within 10 miles 3 - mile island nuclear power plant on 3-28-1979.

Could the radiation leaked out have caused issues for me?

That’s not out of the realm of possibility.

I wonder if studies have been done on this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Mil ... e_material

Did you grow up around there? Did it seem as if there were more “disordered” children where you lived?

I guess we’ll never really know if 3 Mile Island had anything to do with your autism.