What age did you realize that you were "different"

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I suppose even though a nomadic childhood might result in a lost sense of a cohesive past, it gives one diversity and experience that "regular people" with stable childhoods and friends acquired during childhood tend to lack. And then you get to share your accounts with others for their amusement, lol. My schooling experience was basically a string of military schools, so despite the nomadism, the schools' environment and structure was pretty uniform.

Wow, that sounds like a fantastic school system -- Colors and all to entertain the kids and to spark their enthusiasm for school! And, lol, that's inter-sibling rivarly at its finest -- and another take on "class warfare".

Which subject did you belong to in the purple group? Personally, I'm sure if I were in such a system, my sixth-grade 'purple' class would've been writing.

I might not have explained it right. At that school, you were still in a "grade," but instead of classrooms, the school had an open floor plan. The media center and the office sat in the hub of the building, and then off in different directions like spokes in a wheel, there were five color-coded open-area Units consisting of about 80 to 100 students and 4 or 5 teachers. It was an elementary school, K-6, in the days before "junior high" became "middle school" and incorporated sixth graders. And, having only five units for six grades, inevitably you would be in one of those units twice, if you went there all the way from first grade to sixth.

Kindergarten was a separate program. After that, Blue Unit was for grades 1-2. Red was for 1-3. Orange had grades 4-5. Purple had 4-6, and Yellow had only the 5-6, no fourth graders, which is why Yellow felt so superior to Purple. The student was assigned to a Unit at the beginning of the year, and remained there. What level you were in, for the various subjects, was not affected by your Unit. Everybody pre-tested for every subject and went to the level that was appropriate for them, in that subject. If you were in Level 16 for reading, you might go to reading class with kids from Orange, Purple, or Yellow. Rarely from Red or Blue, although it would have been possible. Throughout the school year, you might work your way through several levels in different subjects, but you would be in the same Unit all year.

I started that school in fifth grade, and went there through sixth. I still maintain that they did me a disservice putting me in Purple in sixth grade, and my fifth-grade brother in Yellow. My mother actually did question them as to why they hadn't put me in Yellow. That's when they told her that Yellow was not higher than Purple, and it wasn't a reflection on my scholastics; in other words, I did not "flunk." That doesn't explain why there were fourth graders in Purple, but not in Yellow, though. Perhaps it was that social-skills thing again. I had been in Purple the previous year, and would be familiar with the teachers. But boy, as far as my brother was concerned, he was in Yellow and I was in Purple because he was "better" than me, and the school knew it. I found it embarrassing to have a younger brother in a Unit that, despite what the teachers said, we all *knew* was higher-ranking.

I think some of us aren't "true" aspies.

Many indications seem to imply that I'm not, though I appear to make communication errors similarly to those on the spectrum, with similarly unintended social affects, and my facial expressions and body language is apparently "weird". And my AQ test scores were high but, then again, that was at the 5th percentile among NT control males which is hardly "autism" territory. But being within the "most autistic" 5th percentile would probably likely put you within the weirdest 10th percentile, and the tenth weirdest must be quite socially weird if I'm any indication, lol.

There's no doubt in my mind that some on this site don't actually have autism. I wouldn't care to speculate as to who it might be, though.

I'm not sure what that has to do with our weirdness (and there had to have been some for someone to be here, no?) bothering us as children.

Did the "unit" designation serve any functional purpose on a day-to-day basis? It sounds like classes were conducted independently of each unit, even though there's an association between the students from a given unit and a given class, so I'm guessing each 'unit' didn't really affect ones daily happenings although it clearly affected your social positioning and that does seem a bit embarrassing. It also seems a little puzzling as it doesn't sound like there was a justification for it.

Lol, either I'm experiencing poor reading comprehension(It's an hour after my bed-time after all) and/or an aspergian-type of impoverished theory of mind, but what's the "that" referring to?

*wait*, *processing*...

I think I have it now.

I was 'kind of implying' that "true aspies" tend to be more "socially oblivious" and correspondingly less concerned about their weirdness affecting their ability to fit in as children, and so "true aspies" tend to be less bothered by it.

And, yes, I am tired. *yawn*

Good night, y'all!

Last edited by swbluto on 30 Apr 2011, 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

lol I was responding to what you said. I didn't get how it related to the quote.

It's past my bedtime, too, and I haven't been sleeping well for almost a month. Could just be me.

It seems now that it was kind of arbitrary. The Units didn't affect your placement in your levels, or how fast you progressed through the levels. They just told you what teachers to report to when you got to school, as well as what time of day you would go to certain classes, such as music, art, or gym.

The faculty tried to combat the "class warfare." There were lectures on cockiness, thinking yourself better than others, but those lectures flew over the heads of those who needed them most.

I don't remember a time when I didn't know I was different from my peers, although it wasn't until about the early teens that I began to care. Before that, there were simply too many things to occupy my time with to notice that there were people, or what their deal was.

I often sought companionship from adults instead of children, because other children didn't have answers to questions I had. They didn't seem knowledgeable or seem much to care that they lived in ignorance of the world around them. Although most adults proved unreliable sources of information too, so I delved into books and mostly ignored the presence of people in general whenever possible. My room was my library, mechanical shop and lab. Thankfully I was encouraged by my parents in that they provided me with the possessions I needed to stay involved in researching, well, everything. Even though they did not exactly understand what I was doing by age 8-9. So long as I kept winning the science fair contest each year and maintaining perfect grades, they were content leaving me in self exile.

After I did start noticing human behavior patterns, well into teen years, socially "normal" became a new concept. I felt removed from the collective. Not belonging, foreign. Alien even. (Not literally, well...most of the time) This is the timeframe when I truly came to understand I was unforgivably different. And would not likely ever be one of them. And I didn't want to either.

I maintained that self righteous mindset until my mid 20s. By that time I had a son, a failed marriage, so was a single parent, a broken military term contract, major financial problems, no friends, and ostracized family…just to list the biggies. And I had to come to terms with the fact that the common problem in many of my life’s misfortunes was in fact, me. Things are improving, some of them dramatically so. It’s a struggle at times. But I’m thankful for who and what I am.

I knew I was different when I started school aged 5; never knew why though until a few of years ago.

Same here (i was 3)

I have a similar memory of being in Sunday school and spacing out to the carpeting while the other kids listened intently.

I was homeschooled my whole life up until my parents got divorced. Then I was enrolled (or rather imprisoned) in middle school. I was 13 and in 7th grade, and I instantly thought that everyone was just plain nuts. Not a thing anybody did made sense to me, so I just burried my head in a Japanese book. After 3 failed relationship attempts and countless ackward social blunders, I began to think that maybe I was nuts, so I gave up on fitting in. Near the end of 8th grade, my sister thought it would be fun to see me go out with someone, so she searched through her friends and picked one who was strangely attracted to weird eccentric characters like me. We're still together today, and still happy. I remember a few months back I was thinking about how weird it was that I of all people have a girlfriend, who even though I love, she makes as little sense to me as everybody else. I was talking about it to me mum, and she mentioned that I probably had Asperger's. I asked her how long she thought that, and she told me she always thought that as long as she can remember. I was like "What!? You mean you knew there was something different about me and never told me!?!?" and she said "Yes" to which I responded with "Okay, that's cool." I'm still trying to get an official diagnosis, but it's been about 3 years since I started school and started noticing I was different.

in kindy. i remember being teased about my differences from then up until now i guess. bullies(my parents included) never let you forget you are different. i don't remember if i knew in preschool. i remember being left out of stuff but i don't think i'd caught on yet.

I've know I was different from a very early age- about 3 ish. When kids at pre-school (which, incidentally, I loved) started calling me weird. When they called me names, I couldn't cope and had a shutdown. I played with dolls and toy animals, but I just collected them and lined them up and put them in 'classes', categorized by breed, gender, etc. All the other kids wanted to play the same games as me, but they got annoyed and exasperated when I insisted on chronological order and historical accuracy...

When I was 12 (nearly three years ago) I discovered the existence of AS, which explained my life, basically. It possibly runs in families, which only affirmed my belief that I have it as my brother, sister and father all have most of the traits.

I knew from a very young age, probably around one or younger.