Am I the Lone Aspie Who Enjoys Being Alone?

Post Reply New Topic

Even neurotypicals have different experiences when alone, and with others. For many of them, for reasons I do not understand, isolation is unpleasant.

"There should be no difference" makes no sense to me at all.

Without long stretches of solitude, my life would be intolerable. All the Aspies I know are on-line, so, if I'm around other people, they're non-Aspies. Almost always, they don't understand me, and I don't understand them. They also don't seem to like it that I don't care one way or another about their approval, but I don't care about THAT, either. I just like to have control over my sensory input, which does not include endless small talk about things I find incredibly uninteresting.

I'm a high school teacher. I spend a lot of time in social situations, by that career choice, but it isn't easy. My hours spent in deliberate isolation, when not at work, are absolutely essential. This becomes obvious, for example, when my phone rings, and I yell at it, before answering, "Leave me alone!"

Much of my isolation-time is spent sleeping, reading, or in cyberspace. On the Internet, I have control over many important things: (1) the choice of people with whom I choose to interact, (2) the modes of interaction, for text-only is much easier for me than voices, (3) what I see, and (4) what I hear. I never refer to the world outside cyberspace with the phrase "in real life," for this IS part of real life, here and now, is it not? I got tired of saying "the world outside cyberspace," shortened it to "the world outside," and then shortened that even further, to simply "TWO," indulging my (fun) obsession with acronyms. My close friends all know what I mean when I refer to TWO.

When I was a little kid (I'm now 44), I would spend hours under a blanket, with just enough light coming through to let me read a book of my choice. Clearly, for me at least, I not only enjoy being alone -- I find it absolutely necessary, to cope with having been born on the "wrong planet." Without long stretches of solitude, I'd be in a padded cell by now. With periodic, deliberate isolation, I can do just fine.

This is being written, by the way, from "The I.C." -- the nickname my domestic partner and I have given to the room where this computer is located. The full name of this space is "The Isolation Chamber." I have a cat in here right now, but cats are quite different from people. They're far less irritating!

What does it mean to be alone? Not being able to express your ideas and feelings to other beings similar in nature to you and obtain some sort of meaningful feedback to help you change your point of view about the world around you?

I don't need other people to be able to do that. That's what the voice inside my head is for.

I only want friends so I can pursue interest that require multiple people.

I love spending time alone; being around too many people for too long drains and frustrates me. I do get lonely, like when my mom's at work all day and I'm alone in the house, but five minutes after she gets home I can hole up in my room and be fine again, it's like I don't get lonely if there's someone in the house, regardless of whether or not I actually see or interact with them.