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12 Mar 2013, 6:30 am

seems to be a common theme with AS in relationship, type books.



Panddora
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12 Mar 2013, 6:33 am

Triple__B wrote:
Now she wants me to look into AvPD or extreme introversion with a high IQ and see if that fits. (AvPD fits but again I don't get anxious per se and I do feel like an introvert but my online IQ scores are normal at 100-110)

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?


Are you paying this quack privately? It is one thing to be thorough and make sure the diagnosis is accurate but she is so wrong about the cheating I would not trust anything she says.



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12 Mar 2013, 7:28 am

I hardly disagree with the statement of your doctor. I myself never understood the whole stuff on cheating on a partner.

If I have a partner, and I fell in love with another one:

1) I can tell my actual partner, that I want to end the relationship, and begin without problems a new relationship.

2) I can start to make a relationship with the new one, while I have to hide it from my old partner. How I can hide it, I dont know, because if I fell in love with another guy, it means I wouldnt love the first one anymore, so I had to act the whole day long before my first partner, that I would still love him, which I wouldnt do any longer. In the opposite I couldnt meet the new partner, I truly love, without heavy circumstances to keep it secret. (Whyever I wanted to keep such a normal thing, like loving a person, a secret.) In the end I am forced to act for someone I dont love, while I cant see the person I would like to see. And when everything blows up, there is only trouble, because of that whole nonsense.

Sorry, but I never understood why people stay in an relationship they dont want anymore, instead of simply telling "I am sorry my dear, but I love someone else." There is nothing bad about it, so I really, really, really dont understand why I should choose a much more complicated solution. Cheating on a partner is less of an asperger trait for me and more of typical NT-greedness. So instead of giving something up to acchieve something else, they want everything at once. Simply does not work.



Ettina
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12 Mar 2013, 10:00 am

Quote:
Oh, so all with ASPD are criminals or psychopaths?

Funny, i do not see a 100% guaranteed link with everyone being a criminal, or specifically a psychopath (ASPD also include narcissism).


ASPD is not narcissism. Those are separate PDs. Although they are often comorbid, they are no more the same than AS and ADHD are. Narcissism and ASPD have separate criteria.

I suppose it is possible to have ASPD and not have broken the law, because you have to have at least three criteria and only criteria 1 and 4 require lawbreaking behavior. But it's unlikely, especially since they have to have met criteria for conduct disorder before age 15. For conduct disorder, you need three or more of:

Quote:
often bullies, threatens, or intimidates others
often initiates physical fights
has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (e.g., a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun)
has been physically cruel to people
has been physically cruel to animals
has stolen while confronting a victim (e.g., mugging, purse snatching, extortion, armed robbery)
has forced someone into sexual activity
has deliberately engaged in fire setting with the intention of causing serious damage
has deliberately destroyed others’ property (other than by fire setting)
has broken into someone else’s house, building, or car
often lies to obtain goods or favours or to avoid obligations (i.e., “cons” others)
has stolen items of nontrivial value without confronting a victim (e.g., shoplifting, but without breaking and entering; forgery)
often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions, beginning before age 13 years
has run away from home overnight at least twice while living in parental or parental surrogate home (or once without returning for a lengthy period)
is often truant from school, beginning before age 13 years


Of those, four (conning and the three truancy/runaway ones) don't require criminal behavior, so you could meet criteria for conduct disorder without breaking the law, but it's unlikely.