How many aspies here want children/family?

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Three is my magic number. That would be nice...heh

I always wanted to have children, since I was a little girl. And now I have two! They are the light of my life.

I am aware that I am not like all the NT moms I know. I try to be, as much as I can be, without driving myself insane.

I've had people make comments to me like "I never imagined you being a mom." Ouch. But I can honestly say, I am a very good mother. My kids have commented how much they appreciate my honesty, for example. They know I am more candid, when appropriate, than most parents would ever think to be. I don't candy-coat things that shouldn't be candy-coated. Straightforward-ness comes naturally to me, and they appreciate that! I love them more than words can ever express, and I let them know it every chance I get!

It's not easy, and I'm thankful I have a great partner to help me raise them right. But, yes, I wanted kids and I had kids.

........

Last edited by capri0112 on 07 Mar 2014, 11:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Be proud to not be an NT parent, try not to think you have to TRY to be like them in any way. I noticed that I pay more attention to my childrens needs and I communicate with them better than most "normal" parents do. I noticed as a teacher, that most NT parents only see what they want to see, they never pay attention to detail.

EX: So instead of thinking there is a bigger reason why "child" is crying, they just automatically think its because they want something they cant have... when if they actually looked at the little details, they would see as they pull "child" away that they actually have their coat zipper stuck and they just wanted it fixed. I see things like this day in and day out, and then they come in the next morning and my parents always say "I dont know what you do in here, but I wish "child" would act like this at home"
Then in my head I am like "well, maybe you should see what the problems are before you try to fix something or give them a voice instead of choose their words for them" but instead I just say
"I dont know, its just easier for them to behave with someone who is not mom and dad" ugh... I hate lying.

Sorry got into a ramble. My point is, we pay attention to details and are honest with our children (I know other AS parents as well) so I think we have a gift. Most see it, others feel they have to be like "every other parent". Embrace your differences, NT or AS, we all have a unique way of looking at things

I'm 20 years old right now, and the absolute last thing I want is to be married or have kids. I see far too many people around my age, often times even younger who already have kids, and it mortifies me.

I hear a notably large number of Aspies' who don't want children.

I'm the opposite

When I picture my future, I picture a wife and children because I can't imagine not having those. I'd rather be dead.

I think it's because I come from an extremely large but extremely close extended family, I consider family the MOST important thing, and I want nothing more in life than to start a family of my own

I have been married 25 years. Got married when I was 24. I have 4 children ages 23, 22,20, and 17. It wasn't easy at all. My children seemed to tolerate my quirks and my tendency to withdraw when the stimuli was too much for me.

Just to let you youngsters know: I have an 8 year old boy who is very outgoing and shows no symptoms of autism or aspergers. So to all of you that are afraid your kids will turn out like you, its not necessarly true.

This is an important point. I am proud not to be an NT parent. At the same time, I don't want to appear so unusual as to embarrass my children. For example, NT parents put a great deal of emphasis on things like joining committees and clubs, attending this or that meeting/event, socializing with other parents ad nauseam...things that do not particularly interest or excite me, but that I do anyway, just in smaller doses them most parents, so my children don't feel like they have a totally disengaged alien mom.

When it comes to the principles on which I raise my kids, such as the best way to communicate with them, I never compromise. I don't think I could if I tried. I am definitely proud, in that respect, not to be an NT parent.

For sure, we should all be proud of our uniqueness, our strengths, our gifts...whether we are AS, NT, whatever. I include myself when I say we can all do a better job of respecting and nurturing each other.

After all, that is a better example to set than competing with and judging each other and ourselves. Easy to say, harder to do.

If life is a tightrope, what happens if you fall off?
Are there coffins everywhere?

Didn't get married until I was in my thirties, got divorced eleven years later... She didn't want kids but I always have because I think children are absolutely beautiful and fascinating (child psychology and development is actually a special interest of mine), and find it easy to relate to them. But that didn't pan out. I'm thinking of adopting anyways, or finding someone who is willing to be a surrogate, because at the same time that I adore my nieces and nephews and still think of them like the kids I remember, I'm just so jealous in some ways of my brother and sister being NT, doing well at the "dating game" and finding someone who isn't abusive, and then building a family with that person.

Until I finally got married it seemed like the one thing I wanted the most hadn't even a remote chance of happening. Now it seems I'm in the same boat again, and my brother and sister think I'm crazy to consider having a child in my fifties.

It's a beautiful metaphor. You spend your life carefully trying not to fall/die. You go through life trying not to die, all so on you can die in the end


Heres one thats a little more optimistic: Life is a sewer; what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Yes I agree.

Me too! I too have an interest in child psychology and development. I grew up with the younger kids as kids my age did not want to play with me so I ended up wanting to be a preschool teacher. My biggest is Child Discipline. I am told I have a "special gift" when it comes to children. I just find it easy to relate I am sorry to hear you do not have any of your own.