So are any of you closeted about your autism?

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Jensen
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14 Oct 2014, 7:13 am

I wrote yesterday, that I preferred the safety of the closet for fear of sarcasm, - but I actually am becoming more open. On days, when I question my lable, I tend to hide it, because, I don´t want to be someone, who make up stories.
The more certain I become, the easier it is to disclose, - and I am beginning to disclose it, not as a diagnosis, but as some sort of type-label. I like being aspie :) .
I am to have another (the fifth) work trial, but I was never tried in an aspie friendly function, so here I go OPENLY for typical aspie jobs through specialized firms.
This time I am to return to a place, where I have been tried before and where they do train aspies. They just didn´t know then, that I was one. I wonder, what they are going to say.


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Last edited by Jensen on 14 Oct 2014, 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BuyerBeware
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14 Oct 2014, 7:55 am

I will come out, for a good enough reason.

But the closet is, and will likely remain, the safest place to be.


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glider18
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14 Oct 2014, 8:12 am

I disclose that I have Asperger's when certain conversations or situations arise. I have also conducted a music ministry in which I disclosed having Asperger's and how it works in my life.


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Joe90
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14 Oct 2014, 3:51 pm

Yes, I am very closeted about my ASD. I've always been embarrassed to tell people, and I am so stubborn about not telling people, so anyone could sit and talk me into the idea that I should be open about it until they're blue in the face, and I still won't give in. I've just always been embarrassed about it, so I've just found a way to work around it. Luckily I am only mild, so I can mask most of my symptoms, and the oddness that does show aren't enough to get people guessing that it's an ASD. People just think I have learning difficulties, ADHD, and an anxiety/stress disorder. So if that is the way people see me, I've decided a few months ago that I might as well just tell people I have learning difficulties, ADHD and an anxiety/stress disorder and be done with it. That still gives me the understanding that I need, but without no annoying Autism stereotypes being assumed about me, so it's sort of a win-win thing.

Why I feel embarrassed about telling people I have Asperger's but not these other disorders, you ask? I don't know either. Perhaps it's because I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was only 8 (by an excellent professional), and it used to eat me up on the inside back then because all I wanted to do was have no label and just be like all the other kids at school, and it was what made me miserable as a teenager and a young adult. So I think I am just put off by that. But I do feel more comfortable just telling people I have those other disorders, which I believe I do anyway. OK so you are probably thinking ''oh you must be intelligent, your post is well written'', and that's because I love typing, and that does not mean I am a genius. I struggle at math, and I'm not very good with reading, and there are other things that I struggle with and I'm not particularly good at anything, except for empathizing with people, I am good at that. And I think I have got ADHD anyway, because I can be very hyper and easily distracted, and I have read up a lot on ADHD and all of the symptoms describe me, more so than symptoms on ASD stuff. And I've always stressed easily and been anxious about lots of things, and that is what is most obvious about me. But I know a non-Aspie girl with an anxiety and stress disorder, and she is very similar to me, but she is not on the spectrum, so being anxious does not necessarily mean you have an ASD as such.

So yeah, that's my story of how I express my mental health. It probably sounds pointless to other people, as most people will think ''oh instead of having to go round the houses like that to people, why don't you just tell them you have an ASD?'' But if I did tell people that I have an ASD, I am so non-stereotypical that I probably would have to go round the houses. Everyone will think that I might be unpredictable, like start rocking backwards and forwards on the floor when there's a loud noise or bright light, or not feeling any emotion for anybody or anything, or being incontinent at night or something.


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rapidroy
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16 Oct 2014, 12:45 am

It is kind of hard to disclose and then turn around and expect people to treat you like a typical person. With all of my logic I have yet to figure out how one can do that and make it all work out.



goldfish21
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16 Oct 2014, 5:20 am

Ya, for the most part I don't tell others I work with. I have told many family and friends over the last couple years or so, but tend to keep it to myself almost completely at work. I figure since my symptoms are minimal and I don't need any special concessions that I may as well keep it to myself and keep focused on not saying or doing things that would require any sort of special treatment. So far so good. People can't really tell. Like I said in another thread, when I told a manager who wondered if someone else had AS that I did have it she seemed surprised. That was a nice indicator that people can't really tell, so, since they're on a need to know basis.. they don't need to know.


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Andrejake
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16 Oct 2014, 7:25 am

I only say that i have asperger if i think that the conversation is going to a point where it is an important information to keep things going.
I don't go through the way of "only talking to the closest ones". There are people that i know for years and have never talked about it (because it was never needed) and there are others that i needed to tell on the day we met.



Jensen
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16 Oct 2014, 10:11 am

I just learned, that one of my friends has disclosed to two other friends, whom I almost haven´t seen for over a year. It´s ok. We´ve known each other in ages. They think, I just changed, - but the fact is, that I have had hell with my social case an no energy for social activities.
Wonder what it will be like to meet them again.
Well at least, I can offer an explanation to some of the things, they have been wondering about over the years.


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corvuscorax
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16 Oct 2014, 11:48 am

Quite. I don't usually tell people unless I'm anonymous in some way or if I've known someone for some time. Or they guess.

I HATE IT WHEN THEY GUESS lol

But nah, I don't like to tell people because I try to deny any flaws while I try to charge towards an eternal quest towards perfectionism. I don't see my problems as an excuse to not try. And that's kind of the jiff that people give me if I tell them, if I'm not careful. Most of the dudes I work with are chill about it, but a few of the ladies seem to act like it's a defining part of me. Well, it's certainly a part of me, but the definition of me is my personality, not my flaws. Sure, they go hand and hand but I ain't just a cupcake autistic.


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senecafox
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21 Oct 2014, 12:50 am

I sort of tell my boyfriend and family and close friends, but I do it in a way that seems so casual so they think I'm joking. Even though they kind of see what I'm saying. I'm weird, I'm monotone, I'm closed up in myself, I'm shy, I don't get jokes or slang or figures of speech and never use them, I have a strange sense of humour, I'm sensitive to clothing textures and sometimes brightness, I have the occasional meltdown.... and yet sometimes I feel pretty normal. Plus, I don't want to draw attention to myself and categorize myself as a specific type of person because I would rather be seen as a complex person. I don't want people judging all my behaviours to see if they fit or don't fit under the "aspergers" heading or not. Maybe I am just typical with some aspergers traits.



JitakuKeibiinB
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21 Oct 2014, 3:26 am

I don't think it's useful to go around shouting my diagnoses, so I don't.