Has anyone else been told they are too blunt?

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I believe my mum has ASD (and I believe I have it too for the record) and she was incredibly blunt and straightforward with me growing up. I know now she never meant to be mean or rude (although I still sometimes hate this about her) but for years I thought she was a cold, hateful narcissist and I was the child she never wanted. When I talk to her about how she felt about me now, she says I was a perfect child: polite, quite, never caused too much trouble, but very serious and very sensitive (not only because I had someone being blunt with me all the time either). She says that she loved me very much and knew I was special. Of course, little me didn't know this, I just heard all her critical comments and thought she hated me. I think this trait in her, while not really her fault, completely bulldozed my self esteem. Just something to think about if you are blunt with your children - especially if they need that extra love and care that I certainly did. I acknowledge that I am a highly sensitive person though and that my mum and me don't match personality wise at all. Though sometimes it would be nice for her to not say the things she does, for the sake of our relationship and me being able to talk to my mum about stuff without being told to 'suck it up.'

Anyway I'm sure not every Aspie is like this though (even the blunt ones). I'm not blunt - I always strive to be nice. I go by the saying "If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all." I have my mum to thank for that I guess haha.

I'm all about sugar-coating. Maybe because I'm sensitive to criticism and following the Golden Rule. Or maybe because I've studied to be a writer so I've learned a lot about how superficially similar sentences can impart a significantly different meaning depending on the choice of words.

I think people don't generally consider me overly blunt, but even I've gotten a, "Wow, [Cyllya], tellin' it like it is" (said with uncomfortable chuckle) and a, "tell us how you really feel."

*shrug*

the word "blunt" has positive connotations. it indicates something similar to "no-nonsense" or "unwilling to lie for shallow reasons".
i am not called blunt. i do not have many friends, but those who i do have have said on occasions that i am "rude" and "abrupt" and "compassion-less" and "thoughtless" and "selfish" etc.

i can not be bothered to dance the dance of social protocol. i have never learned the steps because i have never been interested in pleasing others much.

recently, my girlfriend's mother asked me to a party that her other daughter was having, and i said that i will not be going. when she asked why not, i said that i did not want to go, and she tried to think of reasons that may be the cause of me not wanting to go, and she suggested that i could be picked up and dropped home when i want, or that i could choose what i want to eat or do there, and the fact remained that i did not want to go because i simply did not want to go. i told her that i was not going to go because i simply did not want to be there, and she gave up and called me rude.

a man at a checkout at a hardware shop i went to recently started to talk to me about something, and i became rapidly impatient because he was not scanning my stuff, and........better to write the transcript-

me: are these the only fluorescent tubes you have in this length?
him: yes sorry why?
me: they are too white. i liked the older ones that had a softer creamy type of light.
him: yes i remember those! now that you come to mention it, it's true that the newer ones are too white. it kind of makes the place look sterile or something kind of like.....
me: yep whatever, i'll just have those thanks.

my girlfriend (who was with me for the weekend after i picked her up from that party) said i was very abrupt.
__________
when someone talks to me about some grief they have, i try to think of a way to make them feel better as rapidly as possible because it is a drag when they are being down hearted and i have to be with them.
one older woman at work in the tea room was going on about her father who died in a nasty accident when she was young, and how she has never gotten over the loss of him in her life. i asked how old he was when he died, and she said he was fifty, and that was in 1960. i told her that he would be surely dead by now even if he did not have that accident, so it is useless to keep worrying about it. it is like someone crying over tutankhamen's death after all this time. she walked off and another employee told me that she was astounded at how little compassion i have. it is better to just hear her out and say something like "hmmm...tragic" and then walk off before it can be seen to be dis-ingenuous of me.

if someone tries to play a song for me that i do not like, i will tell them immediately that i do not like it, and if they persist with playing it to me, i will drum my fingers on the table (not in rhythm) until the song is over and i will tell them that i will choose the rest of what we listen to. if they do not like it they can go.

people say i am selfish, but i can only give what i have. i can not make something up to give them.
i can give them money and shelter and help (for technical or other physical activities) and make sure they are warm and fed and watered and safe, but i can not give them a smile i do not have for what i am not interested in.

when people try to come to me for what they call "spiritual comfort", i am not there. sometimes i feel like i do not have a soul because i can not see how other people can be so interested in things i can not see. sometimes i feel sad that there is a hole where my soul should be, but essentially i know i am not causing any harm to others. i will help where i can, but i am solitary in the end.

edited to add "dis" to "ingenuous"

Yep, a lot of people at school disliked me because of how blunt I was, it came off as very rude. I was also very defensive and that didn't help me at all. I learned what not to say over the years though.

I'm about as blunt as a "whiff of grape" so that tends to get the ball rolling. Some people find it shocking, but I've never been called rude before. Of course, I am a six foot two giant that looks like he could beat most people down into a fine patty. Rarely ever have to say anything that would be considered rude, but most of the time when it can'tbe avoided they deserve the truth. Probably doesn't help much that it runs in the family. When they call your mother "tell it like it is caldwell" can only imagine what the child will be like. Between being blunt and excentric its a wonder why most people avoid me

Sometimes people tell me that. But from time to time I do that on purpose because I don't like them. Mostly it's without knowing it.